Anonymous
Post 09/25/2020 14:05     Subject: Best Divorce Attorney in NOVA
Just go and visit the top 5.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2020 14:05     Subject: Re:Best Divorce Attorney in NOVA
Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I am not angry, kids are grown, we both work FT and he has been having an affair. I offered mediation and he is being a snake so I want to be prepared.


Consult with as many of the recommended firms as you can. I’m sorry that you are going through this.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2020 13:50     Subject: Re:Best Divorce Attorney in NOVA
This is OP. I am not angry, kids are grown, we both work FT and he has been having an affair. I offered mediation and he is being a snake so I want to be prepared.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2020 13:48     Subject: Best Divorce Attorney in NOVA
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why not try being as amicable as possible and get a collaborative divorce attorney? Getting ugly can cost you both with money and making the divorce much worse.


This is never helpful.

I recommend the attorneys from FGM law firm in Fairfax. In particular, Mehagen McRae


Collaborative divorce is incredibly expensive, and it only works for people who are both into working through a collaborative solution. It is NOT the same as negotiation.

All that said, the best divorce attorney is no divorce attorney. It's said when people "catch" being angry in a divorce, they most always get the same outcome they could have reached in settlement privately, but they spend sometimes hundreds of thousands of dollars first wasting time and being angry. I'm sorry for you OP that you expect this to get ugly. Honestly just know in a couple years it should be over. it's a process for the angry spouse to vent and make threats.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2020 13:44     Subject: Best Divorce Attorney in NOVA
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why not try being as amicable as possible and get a collaborative divorce attorney? Getting ugly can cost you both with money and making the divorce much worse.


This is never helpful.

I recommend the attorneys from FGM law firm in Fairfax. In particular, Mehagen McRae


I did not say mediation. I said collaborative divorce. They are different. Look it up.

And, it can be helpful. I know.


NP. You know it helped you. It could be disastrous for attempting collaboration with a malignant narcissist. It would be a waste of time and money. Sometimes you just have to rip the bandaid off and have your first aid kit nearby. It takes two to collaborate. There need only be one person, not two, to have a law and order established that dissolves marriage.

Recommend family therapy wirh a 3rd party for everyone’s sake especially if there are any minor or adult children of concern. With the correct psychological specialist, having a fair and healthy space to address familial conflict pre/during/post is worth it’s weight in gold.


Not everyone divorces a malignant narcissist. If there is a way to agree on 50/50 split (or close to it), shared custody, there is not much more to discuss or fight over, and you don't need an expensive litigious attorney to do that. It is worth the conversation to keep it as civil as possible for the kids. I am not entirely happy with how my divorce went and I gave up a bit more than I should have but my kids are better off permanently so that was worth it for me although it took two years vs. 1 year like I wanted due to who I was divorcing. Most things were split mostly 50/50 but more like 40/60 (me less) but my kids are way better off and with less trauma that it would have been otherwise if I did it differently. Ultimately, I had my kids quality of life as the most important factor and that was better than an ugly divorce to me. If I had gone the straight lawyer route, it would have been really bad and very expensive...I probably would have walked away with less...he would have intentionally run up the attorney's fees to make sure there was less for me in the end. And I believe he would have. I gave in a bit, but my kids are way better off and it was not worth it to "fight" for exactly even. And now it is over so it does not even matter.


PP here. It’s great that you did not have the experience of divorcing a malignant narcissist. I did and that information is far and few in beteeen on how to protect yourself. I’m sharing the perspective for others who can relate. Your experience is much more common, and there is info about on how to navigate that way. Narcissists are a different ball game. I walked away from everything all for peace and the strategy for peace is a different process that took me far too long to understand. I hope my information is helpful, because I wasted money on collaboration, mediation and ultimately had to represent myself. It would have been a better use of my time and money o get advice most apropos for MY circumstance - which may be very much like Op’s, or perhaps a lurker like I was long ago.

If you have recommended resources for people that do divorce malignant narcissists, I’m sure they would be of value. It’s not about fighting. It is about protecting yourself from a fighter.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2020 12:32     Subject: Best Divorce Attorney in NOVA
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why not try being as amicable as possible and get a collaborative divorce attorney? Getting ugly can cost you both with money and making the divorce much worse.


This is never helpful.

I recommend the attorneys from FGM law firm in Fairfax. In particular, Mehagen McRae


I did not say mediation. I said collaborative divorce. They are different. Look it up.

And, it can be helpful. I know.


NP. You know it helped you. It could be disastrous for attempting collaboration with a malignant narcissist. It would be a waste of time and money. Sometimes you just have to rip the bandaid off and have your first aid kit nearby. It takes two to collaborate. There need only be one person, not two, to have a law and order established that dissolves marriage.

Recommend family therapy wirh a 3rd party for everyone’s sake especially if there are any minor or adult children of concern. With the correct psychological specialist, having a fair and healthy space to address familial conflict pre/during/post is worth it’s weight in gold.


Not everyone divorces a malignant narcissist. If there is a way to agree on 50/50 split (or close to it), shared custody, there is not much more to discuss or fight over, and you don't need an expensive litigious attorney to do that. It is worth the conversation to keep it as civil as possible for the kids. I am not entirely happy with how my divorce went and I gave up a bit more than I should have but my kids are better off permanently so that was worth it for me although it took two years vs. 1 year like I wanted due to who I was divorcing. Most things were split mostly 50/50 but more like 40/60 (me less) but my kids are way better off and with less trauma that it would have been otherwise if I did it differently. Ultimately, I had my kids quality of life as the most important factor and that was better than an ugly divorce to me. If I had gone the straight lawyer route, it would have been really bad and very expensive...I probably would have walked away with less...he would have intentionally run up the attorney's fees to make sure there was less for me in the end. And I believe he would have. I gave in a bit, but my kids are way better off and it was not worth it to "fight" for exactly even. And now it is over so it does not even matter.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2020 11:55     Subject: Best Divorce Attorney in NOVA
OP, always conduct yourself with honor and wisdom and you open the door to favor and good. Be fearless and be kind.

Anonymous
Post 09/25/2020 11:52     Subject: Best Divorce Attorney in NOVA
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why not try being as amicable as possible and get a collaborative divorce attorney? Getting ugly can cost you both with money and making the divorce much worse.


This is never helpful.

I recommend the attorneys from FGM law firm in Fairfax. In particular, Mehagen McRae


I did not say mediation. I said collaborative divorce. They are different. Look it up.

And, it can be helpful. I know.


NP. You know it helped you. It could be disastrous for attempting collaboration with a malignant narcissist. It would be a waste of time and money. Sometimes you just have to rip the bandaid off and have your first aid kit nearby. It takes two to collaborate. There need only be one person, not two, to have a law and order established that dissolves marriage.

Recommend family therapy wirh a 3rd party for everyone’s sake especially if there are any minor or adult children of concern. With the correct psychological specialist, having a fair and healthy space to address familial conflict pre/during/post is worth it’s weight in gold.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2020 11:48     Subject: Best Divorce Attorney in NOVA
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why not try being as amicable as possible and get a collaborative divorce attorney? Getting ugly can cost you both with money and making the divorce much worse.


This is never helpful.

I recommend the attorneys from FGM law firm in Fairfax. In particular, Mehagen McRae


I did not say mediation. I said collaborative divorce. They are different. Look it up.

And, it can be helpful. I know.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2020 10:28     Subject: Best Divorce Attorney in NOVA
The rat. Mark Sandground in Tyson’s.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2020 09:45     Subject: Re:Best Divorce Attorney in NOVA
Julie Gerock at Maddox and Gerock
https://www.maddoxandgerock.com/Attorney-Profiles/Julie-C-Gerock.shtml
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2020 09:40     Subject: Best Divorce Attorney in NOVA
Grant Moher is excellent
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2020 07:01     Subject: Best Divorce Attorney in NOVA
Anonymous wrote:Why not try being as amicable as possible and get a collaborative divorce attorney? Getting ugly can cost you both with money and making the divorce much worse.


This is never helpful.

I recommend the attorneys from FGM law firm in Fairfax. In particular, Mehagen McRae
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2020 23:02     Subject: Best Divorce Attorney in NOVA
Why not try being as amicable as possible and get a collaborative divorce attorney? Getting ugly can cost you both with money and making the divorce much worse.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2020 22:36     Subject: Best Divorce Attorney in NOVA
I expect things to get ugly and want the best... TIA.