Anonymous
Post 09/22/2020 16:44     Subject: Convince me to have more than 1
Anonymous wrote:Kids need a sibling.


History has proven that no, they don’t.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2020 16:44     Subject: Convince me to have more than 1
If you don't want another child, don't have one. I have three, DH and I both wanted three, we love having three. But I would never in a million years try to convince someone to have a kid. It's obnoxious, and also ignores the many downsides of having kids.

Also 1 + 1 =/= 2, when it comes to having kids. The change in work feels exponential, not additive. I'm sure that stops at some point, but the change from one kid to two is substantial, at least IME.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2020 16:42     Subject: Convince me to have more than 1
Kids need a sibling.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2020 16:41     Subject: Re:Convince me to have more than 1
I’d say embrace the “one and done.”

Anonymous
Post 09/22/2020 16:40     Subject: Convince me to have more than 1
If you don’t want another baby, don’t have another baby.

Nobody’s forcing you. What a weird thread.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2020 16:36     Subject: Convince me to have more than 1
If you’re on the fence, do the world a favor and stick to one. Why should anyone convince you otherwise? This isn’t DC Quiverfull Moms.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2020 16:31     Subject: Convince me to have more than 1
Anonymous wrote:DH and I are so conflicted about having a second and I am feeling the pressure about it. Our DS is 15 months and all over the place. We are exhausted and COVID has obviously thrown a wrench in things. DH took a pay cut and money was tight with one in daycare to begin with. I am 37 so don’t want to wait much longer, but the thought of going through pregnancy, no sleep, struggling financially, and this maniac stage he is in, is making me think maybe 1 is for us. Is this normal? I don’t want to wait much longer but also don’t want to regret Not having a second. How do you decide?!


Don't have another.

Seriously. It's too much work. The world is going down the toilet in every way, and children now cost us so, so much money. There's no support for working families in the US.

Be happy with your singleton.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2020 16:29     Subject: Convince me to have more than 1
The first kid will really like having a sibling (usually), especially when they are older.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2020 16:28     Subject: Convince me to have more than 1
We have 2 that are only 19 months apart. Had we waited I'm not sure we would have had another. I adore both of my kids and 1:1 they are absolute joys, but them together (especially 24/7 these past 6 months) has been very hard on me. I'm an only child and extremely independent, DH is oldest of 3 boys and he's quite needy (and I say that as lovingly as possible).

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do!
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2020 16:23     Subject: Convince me to have more than 1
Anonymous wrote:All your eggs being in one basket is very, very stressful. Everything became so much easier and laid back after I had a second child.


PP here - to add, when my parents were deciding, Dad said that he wanted to have either no kids or at least two. His aunt and uncle had lost their only child and it destroyed them.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2020 16:22     Subject: Convince me to have more than 1
I mean why? Why should anyone convince you of anything? People usually know if they want another kid and they really want another kid. If you don't feel that, why should some strangers on some board convince you?
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2020 16:19     Subject: Convince me to have more than 1
Anonymous wrote:It's normal. I definitely wasn't ready for another one until my 1st turned 3.5 and became much more independent and normal. She is 4 now and Im due next month. The age gap is OK for us and I am 35.

I don't think you should rush anything if you're already that stressed. I do think if you're questioning it now, you will definitely want another in a few years when #1 becomes SO much easier. Around 3 life gets so much better. Of course there are a few bad phases, etc, but in general it's easy.


Same poster. I will say- DD is all over me because she's an only. When her friends are over, it's so much easier b/c they play together, etc. So having 2 is hard but also becomes easier as time goes on.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2020 16:18     Subject: Convince me to have more than 1
It's normal. I definitely wasn't ready for another one until my 1st turned 3.5 and became much more independent and normal. She is 4 now and Im due next month. The age gap is OK for us and I am 35.

I don't think you should rush anything if you're already that stressed. I do think if you're questioning it now, you will definitely want another in a few years when #1 becomes SO much easier. Around 3 life gets so much better. Of course there are a few bad phases, etc, but in general it's easy.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2020 16:17     Subject: Convince me to have more than 1
All your eggs being in one basket is very, very stressful. Everything became so much easier and laid back after I had a second child.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2020 16:14     Subject: Convince me to have more than 1
DH and I are so conflicted about having a second and I am feeling the pressure about it. Our DS is 15 months and all over the place. We are exhausted and COVID has obviously thrown a wrench in things. DH took a pay cut and money was tight with one in daycare to begin with. I am 37 so don’t want to wait much longer, but the thought of going through pregnancy, no sleep, struggling financially, and this maniac stage he is in, is making me think maybe 1 is for us. Is this normal? I don’t want to wait much longer but also don’t want to regret Not having a second. How do you decide?!