Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have terrible cat allergies. Your poor husband! Your kid will cope.

Wow. This is not helpful at all. My husband is also heart broken and doesn’t think of himself as “poor”, and also wants what is best for our kid because he’s a good dad that doesn’t want his daughter to just “cope”.

She literally said she has bad cat allergies and was giving sympathy to your husband and saying that your child will be ok. Don't bite her head off.

I get that you are stressed out but wow.

My bad if that’s what PP meant. It felt very “get over it”, which is not what I was looking for.

Anyway, I got what I needed, so I’m signing off of this thread since I know how DCUM works and I don’t need to get piled on. Peace!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have terrible cat allergies. Your poor husband! Your kid will cope.

Wow. This is not helpful at all. My husband is also heart broken and doesn’t think of himself as “poor”, and also wants what is best for our kid because he’s a good dad that doesn’t want his daughter to just “cope”.

She literally said she has bad cat allergies and was giving sympathy to your husband and saying that your child will be ok. Don't bite her head off.

I get that you are stressed out but wow.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you get the cat in the first place, knowing Dad had allergies?

Honestly, this. If you knew, then it was totally irresponsible. Kittens are far more sought after and now you’re trying to “rehome” an older cat.

Not much I can do about it now.

Thanks to those of you who offered good advice. We returned the cat to the shelter today and it has been a difficult day, we've all been crying a lot. We've been talking to DD whenever she's upset and we have playdates set up this week with friends who have dogs so she gets some animal time.

Answer the question though- why did you get a cat when your spouse is allergic?

That’s not relevant at all. I can’t go back in time and not get the cat.

But since you MUST know - we thought they were very mild allergies. We’ve had a cat before. DH went on medication and we took several precautions, such as keeping the cat out of certain rooms, vacuuming daily, I even trained the cat to enjoy baths and we gave her baths regularly.

It turns out DH has developed an underlying blood disorder and we are still waiting to find out exactly what it is, and it could be leukemia. In the meantime, his blood cell counts has bottomed out, he can barely breathe, and his doctor said we needed to rehome the cat ASAP or DH could develop permanent damage. And who knows how bad it would be if he caught COVID.

We would have liked to at least found out what the blood disorder/cancer is first, but we live in a state with terrible healthcare and we can’t even get in to see a doctor until October. In the meantime, I have to watch him sit down gasping to catch his breath multiple times a day.

We toughed it out as long as we could but after 2 months he’s just getting worse.

I suppose I should have had the foresight to know my DH might somehow have this bad of a reaction to THIS particular cat (like I said, we’ve had one before and we visit people with cats) and that he would develop a potentially life-threatening disease 🙄

This has not been easy on any of us. We are doing our best in a situation we couldn’t foresee.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you get the cat in the first place, knowing Dad had allergies?

Honestly, this. If you knew, then it was totally irresponsible. Kittens are far more sought after and now you’re trying to “rehome” an older cat.

Not much I can do about it now.

Thanks to those of you who offered good advice. We returned the cat to the shelter today and it has been a difficult day, we've all been crying a lot. We've been talking to DD whenever she's upset and we have playdates set up this week with friends who have dogs so she gets some animal time.

Answer the question though- why did you get a cat when your spouse is allergic?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have terrible cat allergies. Your poor husband! Your kid will cope.

Wow. This is not helpful at all. My husband is also heart broken and doesn’t think of himself as “poor”, and also wants what is best for our kid because he’s a good dad that doesn’t want his daughter to just “cope”.

The pp was trying to be nice to you OP, and conveying that your kid will be ok. You sound irresponsible- how old is your husband? A middle aged man just now figures out he’s allergic? You guys really messed up as parents and pet owners.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you get the cat in the first place, knowing Dad had allergies?

Honestly, this. If you knew, then it was totally irresponsible. Kittens are far more sought after and now you’re trying to “rehome” an older cat.

Not much I can do about it now.

Thanks to those of you who offered good advice. We returned the cat to the shelter today and it has been a difficult day, we've all been crying a lot. We've been talking to DD whenever she's upset and we have playdates set up this week with friends who have dogs so she gets some animal time.

Anonymous wrote:Why did you get the cat in the first place, knowing Dad had allergies?

Honestly, this. If you knew, then it was totally irresponsible. Kittens are far more sought after and now you’re trying to “rehome” an older cat.

Why did you get the cat in the first place, knowing Dad had allergies?

Also see if you can find an adopter among your friends/family. You do have to work with rescue, but they will likely be more than happy to assist in a rehoming to someone you know.

Anonymous wrote:Oof. We had to rehome a cat recently and it devastated my son (11), but kitty went to my parents so my son gets photos and updates which helps a lot.

At 4 I think you just validate how she feels, tell her it’s OK to be sad (cause it’s sad), but that dad has terrible allergies and the cat makes him sick so you have to do what’s best for the cat and dad.

OP here. Thanks for this. We’ve been talking about it this weekend and about how sad we’ll be, and it seems to have helped.

Anonymous wrote:I have terrible cat allergies. Your poor husband! Your kid will cope.

Wow. This is not helpful at all. My husband is also heart broken and doesn’t think of himself as “poor”, and also wants what is best for our kid because he’s a good dad that doesn’t want his daughter to just “cope”.

Anonymous wrote:Oof. We had to rehome a cat recently and it devastated my son (11), but kitty went to my parents so my son gets photos and updates which helps a lot.

At 4 I think you just validate how she feels, tell her it’s OK to be sad (cause it’s sad), but that dad has terrible allergies and the cat makes him sick so you have to do what’s best for the cat and dad.

This. Let her process her feelings. Help her talk about if she need to. Don’t bright side it.

I have terrible cat allergies. Your poor husband! Your kid will cope.

Oof. We had to rehome a cat recently and it devastated my son (11), but kitty went to my parents so my son gets photos and updates which helps a lot.

At 4 I think you just validate how she feels, tell her it’s OK to be sad (cause it’s sad), but that dad has terrible allergies and the cat makes him sick so you have to do what’s best for the cat and dad.

We adopted a kitten a couple months ago and it hadn’t worked out due to DH having severe allergies. We have to return the cat to the shelter and I know our 4yo DD will be devastated.

How can we best support DD during this? My heart is breaking just thinking about it.