Anonymous
09/18/2020 09:59
Subject: When To Start Trying For Second Baby?
Now.
You don’t have time to let your body recover/heal/etc. It’s better to wait but you don’t have that luxury.
And the waiting advice is less true in an era of prenatal vitamins (start those now!) and only two kids per woman. You aren’t going to have eight kids every 13 months.
You don’t have time to let your body recover/heal/etc. It’s better to wait but you don’t have that luxury.
And the waiting advice is less true in an era of prenatal vitamins (start those now!) and only two kids per woman. You aren’t going to have eight kids every 13 months.
Anonymous
09/18/2020 09:58
Subject: When To Start Trying For Second Baby?
I had my first a couple months before I turned 37. My second was born right after I turned 39. They are 2 years, 4 months apart and it was extremely difficult... I can't imagine having done it a day sooner.
Anonymous
09/18/2020 09:57
Subject: Re:When To Start Trying For Second Baby?
FWIW, I had my first at 37, waited until DC was 2 before trying for the second, and could not conceive. We explored fertility options but decided to just be ok with it.
It was disappointing at the time, but now I’m happy with our choices. I don’t regret waiting. Those 2 years with my first, now only, were so valuable and I’m glad I didn’t have another right away or spend that time dealing with infertility issues. Yes, waiting may be the reason we didn’t have a second. But I personally have an easier time grieving the child we never had than putting myself through the physical and mental stress of trying to conceive sooner, or having two babies under the age of 3.
But everyone is different. We had discussed stopping at one before we even had kids, and mainly tried for a second because we love being parents so much. Others might feel differently.
It was disappointing at the time, but now I’m happy with our choices. I don’t regret waiting. Those 2 years with my first, now only, were so valuable and I’m glad I didn’t have another right away or spend that time dealing with infertility issues. Yes, waiting may be the reason we didn’t have a second. But I personally have an easier time grieving the child we never had than putting myself through the physical and mental stress of trying to conceive sooner, or having two babies under the age of 3.
But everyone is different. We had discussed stopping at one before we even had kids, and mainly tried for a second because we love being parents so much. Others might feel differently.
Anonymous
09/18/2020 09:56
Subject: When To Start Trying For Second Baby?
I started trying again when my 1st was 9 months old. We were pregnant again when he was 11 months old. No regrets. It was very important to us to have a second child and my doctors had no reservations about me starting again when I did. Both children were big, healthy full term babies.
Anonymous
09/18/2020 09:44
Subject: When To Start Trying For Second Baby?
I would wait until 1 and go get fertility help if not pregnant in 4 months.
Anonymous
09/18/2020 09:42
Subject: Re:When To Start Trying For Second Baby?
Too many people I know have had difficulty getting pregnant. Either first babies or second babies. If I knew what I know now, I would have basically encouraged myself to be a teen mom. (Just kidding). The point is, I think you should go ahead and start trying if you want another baby. Yeah, in an ideal world you would give your body more time to recover. But... fertility doesn't follow the ideal world. Especially when you are in your late 30s. Unless you have specific complications/health concerns. Just start trying.
Anonymous
09/18/2020 09:41
Subject: Re:When To Start Trying For Second Baby?
I would wait 9 months to a year but then get to serious trying. Like charting and really paying attention to your fertility. Especially at your age and if you are nursing/nursed at all, you can have temporary issues (like a short luteal phase) that will take a bit to get sorted out. In fact I’d probably start charting now to see what your cycle is doing.
Anonymous
09/18/2020 09:41
Subject: Re:When To Start Trying For Second Baby?
Anonymous wrote:I would wait and get to know your baby a little better. The first six months are very heady, but the next year will change a lot as your child starts to crawl and then walk, and sleeps less. You will have a better sense of what it will be like to have a toddler and an infant if you wait a bit.
I had my first at 37, and know a cohort of women who did the same. The earliest anyone got pregnant with their second was when the first was 18 months. I don’t think anyone started trying until the year mark. That feels like the minimum for me.
The difference between having a baby at 39 and 41 is negligible.
I’ve known many women who got pregnant with their second baby between 6-12 months. Many of them were older and actively trying to get pregnant.
Anonymous
09/18/2020 09:34
Subject: When To Start Trying For Second Baby?
I would probably wait another six months.
Anonymous
09/18/2020 09:33
Subject: Re:When To Start Trying For Second Baby?
Anonymous wrote:I disagree with the above. Statistically, your fertility decreases pretty significantly between 39 and 41. For me, it would depend on how important it is for you to have a second. If you wait to start trying until your first is a 18 months old, and then you can't get pregnant, how will you feel? If the answer is "devastated" - start trying now. If the answer is, "meh, life goes on," maybe wait a bit.
On the flip side, if you get pregnant IMMEDIATELY and your kids are 13 months apart, and you're completely overwhelmed, how will you feel (hard to project, but try). "Meh, it's a short time, and I can throw some money at babysitters and night nurses and take out, and get through a tough two years" then go for it. If it's "oh dear lord, I really need more sleep, I don't know how I'm going to survive, I have no extra resources, I should have waited!!" then wait.
I guess - how much do you want another baby and how well do you do with chaos? Those are the questions I'd be asking myself.
For us, we're jumping right to kid two, mostly for reason #1.
+1. Can't agree with this more. We never had that second because of fertility issues and are in the "devastated" camp. Really wish we would have gotten on board with the crazy close age gap and started trying MUCH sooner.
How long did it take for you to conceive your first? If the answer is 3 months or less, that means your fertility was probably pretty good at 37 and is less likely to have plummeted. But if it's even 6 months, which is well within the range of normal, that's a flag that many of my secondary infertility friends only saw in hindsight. But I really think it comes down to how much you want a second. If it would break your heart not to have another, then don't wait. Your fertility in your late 30's is not a sure thing.
Anonymous
09/18/2020 09:29
Subject: When To Start Trying For Second Baby?
I've always heard it's best to give your body at least a year to recover between pregnancies.
I had my children at 33, 35 and 37.
I had my children at 33, 35 and 37.
Anonymous
09/18/2020 09:13
Subject: When To Start Trying For Second Baby?
If you want to be done by 40 you need to start trying in the next few months.
I personally would start no later than you curren't first birthday.
I personally would start no later than you curren't first birthday.
Anonymous
09/18/2020 08:47
Subject: Re:When To Start Trying For Second Baby?
I disagree with the above. Statistically, your fertility decreases pretty significantly between 39 and 41. For me, it would depend on how important it is for you to have a second. If you wait to start trying until your first is a 18 months old, and then you can't get pregnant, how will you feel? If the answer is "devastated" - start trying now. If the answer is, "meh, life goes on," maybe wait a bit.
On the flip side, if you get pregnant IMMEDIATELY and your kids are 13 months apart, and you're completely overwhelmed, how will you feel (hard to project, but try). "Meh, it's a short time, and I can throw some money at babysitters and night nurses and take out, and get through a tough two years" then go for it. If it's "oh dear lord, I really need more sleep, I don't know how I'm going to survive, I have no extra resources, I should have waited!!" then wait.
I guess - how much do you want another baby and how well do you do with chaos? Those are the questions I'd be asking myself.
For us, we're jumping right to kid two, mostly for reason #1.
On the flip side, if you get pregnant IMMEDIATELY and your kids are 13 months apart, and you're completely overwhelmed, how will you feel (hard to project, but try). "Meh, it's a short time, and I can throw some money at babysitters and night nurses and take out, and get through a tough two years" then go for it. If it's "oh dear lord, I really need more sleep, I don't know how I'm going to survive, I have no extra resources, I should have waited!!" then wait.
I guess - how much do you want another baby and how well do you do with chaos? Those are the questions I'd be asking myself.
For us, we're jumping right to kid two, mostly for reason #1.
Anonymous
09/18/2020 08:30
Subject: Re:When To Start Trying For Second Baby?
I would wait and get to know your baby a little better. The first six months are very heady, but the next year will change a lot as your child starts to crawl and then walk, and sleeps less. You will have a better sense of what it will be like to have a toddler and an infant if you wait a bit.
I had my first at 37, and know a cohort of women who did the same. The earliest anyone got pregnant with their second was when the first was 18 months. I don’t think anyone started trying until the year mark. That feels like the minimum for me.
The difference between having a baby at 39 and 41 is negligible.
I had my first at 37, and know a cohort of women who did the same. The earliest anyone got pregnant with their second was when the first was 18 months. I don’t think anyone started trying until the year mark. That feels like the minimum for me.
The difference between having a baby at 39 and 41 is negligible.
Anonymous
09/18/2020 07:55
Subject: When To Start Trying For Second Baby?
If you are/were older ( 35+) when you had kids, how close in age are they? I’m 38 with a 6 month old and wondering if it’s too soon to start trying for a second child. We really want a second child and I’m hoping I will be done by 40. I know I don’t have that long to wait, but I also know it’s recommended you wait 1-2 years until you’re fully healed. Would you start trying or wait longer?