Anonymous wrote:I’m not looking for affirmation. It’s an anonymous board. I was simply trying to gauge how many people in the US are suffering from trauma to the point where they can’t live a virtuous monogamous life. I guess DCUM isn’t the best place. It was just a reflection after seeing how hard women and men had it in the past trying to start a life here that it seems odd we have people like Elon Musk who have everything and just have affair after affair. It really wasn’t anything related to me. I didn’t ask how much better I was than anyone. If anything I feel I fall short of my more perfect family members. I just wasn’t aware how much trauma others went through till I became an adult. You are right I was naive. But it is a symptom of a greater cutural failing if so many of our children are growing up in broken homes and we can’t seem to rise above the trauma ourselves as a society.

Musk is an example of a man is as faithful as his options. Women will bang because he’s rich, just like Bezos and every Hollywood actor and famous musician...

We’ve been married a very long time and we are happily monogamous. But, both of my sibs and have been divorced, one twice but my husbands 5 siblings have all been married a very long time but I’m not going to assume they are as happy as we are. I think it is difficult to excel in a monogamous relationship but many couples just live it out even if they are not excelling. I know we are very lucky and I really don’t know what the secret sauce is but I wish I did because I could make a fortune.

Anonymous wrote:I’m not looking for affirmation. It’s an anonymous board. I was simply trying to gauge how many people in the US are suffering from trauma to the point where they can’t live a virtuous monogamous life. I guess DCUM isn’t the best place. It was just a reflection after seeing how hard women and men had it in the past trying to start a life here that it seems odd we have people like Elon Musk who have everything and just have affair after affair. It really wasn’t anything related to me. I didn’t ask how much better I was than anyone. If anything I feel I fall short of my more perfect family members. I just wasn’t aware how much trauma others went through till I became an adult. You are right I was naive. But it is a symptom of a greater cutural failing if so many of our children are growing up in broken homes and we can’t seem to rise above the trauma ourselves as a society.

There was nothing wrong with your question. Some are just very sensitive to this issue

I’m not looking for affirmation. It’s an anonymous board. I was simply trying to gauge how many people in the US are suffering from trauma to the point where they can’t live a virtuous monogamous life. I guess DCUM isn’t the best place. It was just a reflection after seeing how hard women and men had it in the past trying to start a life here that it seems odd we have people like Elon Musk who have everything and just have affair after affair. It really wasn’t anything related to me. I didn’t ask how much better I was than anyone. If anything I feel I fall short of my more perfect family members. I just wasn’t aware how much trauma others went through till I became an adult. You are right I was naive. But it is a symptom of a greater cutural failing if so many of our children are growing up in broken homes and we can’t seem to rise above the trauma ourselves as a society.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What an obnoxious, self-righteous post. And your family might be fooling you, like Jerry Falwell Jr. fooled the entire Liberty community. You don't know what's happening within someone else's life or marriage.

Yes, I really do. I'm sorry but there has been no infidelity, no lying, no poor money management. There really are people that are nice to each other and have the skills to make a marriage work. And even going through cancer and people in the family dying from war. You are welcome to think as you do, but I'm generally curious how many people actually have the capacity to make it through marriage without major problems that they cause themselves.

You THINK you do. What you're really saying is that you don't *know* of any infidelity, lying or poor money management. Doesn't mean it hasn't happened. Big difference. But keep your judgmental blinders on. You'll feel much better about yourself.

I'm sorry you are not that close to your family. I am and there is legitimate proof that these things haven't happened. Again there really are people that don't have mental issues and trauma to the point of neglecting or harming others. I'm trying to understand how large that population is. I'm sorry for your hurt, I'm sure it was passed down.

I have both past trauma (childhood abuse and neglect, and adult sexual trauma) and "mental issues" (depression and anxiety and a general need to be in talk therapy most of my life) and I am happily and monogamously married. There has been no infidelity or even suggestion of it, we are responsible with our money (own our home, saving for retirement, no credit card debt), and have always been honest and forthright with each other. We have a lovely, happy child that I have never neglected or harmed. I am a good friend and thoughtful neighbor. I volunteer. I am kind to strangers and treat people in the service industry exceptionally well. I have my flaws but believe I am living a worthwhile and meaningful life. Also, I'm agnostic.

Your comments are ignorant. Please do more research into the human condition beyond reading posts on DCUM before trying to weigh in on how superior you are to other people.

69%

I'm a young women, and I'm not good at monogamous relationships. Not that I cant stay sexually faithful, but I tend to get bored with men (watching football, thinking about sex, and eating seems to take the vast majority of male brainpower) and dont like the constraints.

Maybe I will get married in the future though but yeah... I think living with the opposite sex- or at least women being satisfied with men- can be hard.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What an obnoxious, self-righteous post. And your family might be fooling you, like Jerry Falwell Jr. fooled the entire Liberty community. You don't know what's happening within someone else's life or marriage.

Yes, I really do. I'm sorry but there has been no infidelity, no lying, no poor money management. There really are people that are nice to each other and have the skills to make a marriage work. And even going through cancer and people in the family dying from war. You are welcome to think as you do, but I'm generally curious how many people actually have the capacity to make it through marriage without major problems that they cause themselves.

You THINK you do. What you're really saying is that you don't *know* of any infidelity, lying or poor money management. Doesn't mean it hasn't happened. Big difference. But keep your judgmental blinders on. You'll feel much better about yourself.

I'm sorry you are not that close to your family. I am and there is legitimate proof that these things haven't happened. Again there really are people that don't have mental issues and trauma to the point of neglecting or harming others. I'm trying to understand how large that population is. I'm sorry for your hurt, I'm sure it was passed down.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. Many Christians hide things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What an obnoxious, self-righteous post. And your family might be fooling you, like Jerry Falwell Jr. fooled the entire Liberty community. You don't know what's happening within someone else's life or marriage.

Yes, I really do. I'm sorry but there has been no infidelity, no lying, no poor money management. There really are people that are nice to each other and have the skills to make a marriage work. And even going through cancer and people in the family dying from war. You are welcome to think as you do, but I'm generally curious how many people actually have the capacity to make it through marriage without major problems that they cause themselves.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAA

You are so hopelessly naive and SO self-righteous.

Also, who are you to say that monogamous relationships are the only good ones? What if people are in a consensual polygamous relationship?

Nothing, but I'm not asking about those. That is a different group of people with different goals which may be fine but are not the goals I'm looking to measure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What an obnoxious, self-righteous post. And your family might be fooling you, like Jerry Falwell Jr. fooled the entire Liberty community. You don't know what's happening within someone else's life or marriage.

Yes, I really do. I'm sorry but there has been no infidelity, no lying, no poor money management. There really are people that are nice to each other and have the skills to make a marriage work. And even going through cancer and people in the family dying from war. You are welcome to think as you do, but I'm generally curious how many people actually have the capacity to make it through marriage without major problems that they cause themselves.

You THINK you do. What you're really saying is that you don't *know* of any infidelity, lying or poor money management. Doesn't mean it hasn't happened. Big difference. But keep your judgmental blinders on. You'll feel much better about yourself.

I'm sorry you are not that close to your family. I am and there is legitimate proof that these things haven't happened. Again there really are people that don't have mental issues and trauma to the point of neglecting or harming others. I'm trying to understand how large that population is. I'm sorry for your hurt, I'm sure it was passed down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What an obnoxious, self-righteous post. And your family might be fooling you, like Jerry Falwell Jr. fooled the entire Liberty community. You don't know what's happening within someone else's life or marriage.

Yes, I really do. I'm sorry but there has been no infidelity, no lying, no poor money management. There really are people that are nice to each other and have the skills to make a marriage work. And even going through cancer and people in the family dying from war. You are welcome to think as you do, but I'm generally curious how many people actually have the capacity to make it through marriage without major problems that they cause themselves.

You THINK you do. What you're really saying is that you don't *know* of any infidelity, lying or poor money management. Doesn't mean it hasn't happened. Big difference. But keep your judgmental blinders on. You'll feel much better about yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What an obnoxious, self-righteous post. And your family might be fooling you, like Jerry Falwell Jr. fooled the entire Liberty community. You don't know what's happening within someone else's life or marriage.

Yes, I really do. I'm sorry but there has been no infidelity, no lying, no poor money management. There really are people that are nice to each other and have the skills to make a marriage work. And even going through cancer and people in the family dying from war. You are welcome to think as you do, but I'm generally curious how many people actually have the capacity to make it through marriage without major problems that they cause themselves.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAA

You are so hopelessly naive and SO self-righteous.

Also, who are you to say that monogamous relationships are the only good ones? What if people are in a consensual polygamous relationship?

Anonymous wrote:What an obnoxious, self-righteous post. And your family might be fooling you, like Jerry Falwell Jr. fooled the entire Liberty community. You don't know what's happening within someone else's life or marriage.

Yes, I really do. I'm sorry but there has been no infidelity, no lying, no poor money management. There really are people that are nice to each other and have the skills to make a marriage work. And even going through cancer and people in the family dying from war. You are welcome to think as you do, but I'm generally curious how many people actually have the capacity to make it through marriage without major problems that they cause themselves.

What an obnoxious, self-righteous post. And your family might be fooling you, like Jerry Falwell Jr. fooled the entire Liberty community. You don't know what's happening within someone else's life or marriage.

Reading these threads makes me wonder why there are so many dysfunctional people who can't do well in relationships. My entire extended family just doesn't have these issues although we each acknowledge we have many faults of our own that we work on daily. We work hard, we save our money, we listen to and forgive others, and we try to be decent Christians and human beings that don't take more than we give and don't overpower anyone. We start and continue relationships with the plan to make it through life with its ups and downs. Is it just our society that offers too many temptations or do people have more mental issues than before? What is the source of the dysfunction? I'm seeing it in friends, in the news. Everywhere.