Anonymous wrote:Making friends and maintaining them has always been fairly easy for me in every country I’ve lived, except for England and the USA.

I am an American but I’ve lived in England. In my experience, it is very hard to make friends in England, but once you make them, they are real friends. The relationship is less superficial than it is potentially in the United States.

Making friends and maintaining them has always been fairly easy for me in every country I’ve lived, except for England and the USA.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No

LOL. Do you want to make friends easily? Or do you prefer it this way?

I have friends. I wouldn’t mind having more. I think part of the problem is that I a, forty and have no kids, and that takes out a lot of ways to make friends at my age.

I made friends easily in elementary school. Not middle school. Had a good group in high school by junior year. Made a couple friends in college but not a ton. In my twenties and grad school I made friends fairly easily. After that, haven’t made many friends. I think not being a parent makes it harder to make friends at this stage in life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Foreign service and military kids are very good at it. Short tours of duty are a focusing experience. There's more at stake to make friends because they're starting from zero. They get to practice making friends every time they move.

Yes but in My experience foreign service brats often make shallow friendships and aren’t good long-term friends. They have weird attachment issues. We can just move on quickly. I think sometimes they can experience this weird attachment in romantic relationships as well. They create emotional intimacy quickly and make the other person feel like they are very into them but it doesn’t really mean anything.

I'm the PP you are responding to. I don't disagree, at least for many.

Anonymous wrote:Yes I have always made friends easily.

Initiating
Being chatty
Showing an interest in them and complimenting them
Acting like you enjoy their company
Not being picky petty or sensitive
Being positive and laid back - easy going
Joking around a bit - light hearted


Whenever I make new friends, I think of something i 'need' them for. For example one new friend is really into skin and make up products. I don't wear anything but I asked her advice / recommendations for wrinkle management and she suggested a skin lotion she likes. I tried it and it just gives us something to talk about and it makes her feel as though she knows things that I don't and need her for! That type of thing.

Interessante

I used to be. I always liked to meet new people. I think most people just want you to listen to them and take an interest in them.

I feel like I am less so now. I'm not sure if it is, because I have fewer opportunities since becoming a mom or if I've gotten more anxious/shy as I've gotten older.

Anonymous wrote:No

LOL. Do you want to make friends easily? Or do you prefer it this way?

Anonymous wrote:Foreign service and military kids are very good at it. Short tours of duty are a focusing experience. There's more at stake to make friends because they're starting from zero. They get to practice making friends every time they move.

Yes but in My experience foreign service brats often make shallow friendships and aren’t good long-term friends. They have weird attachment issues. We can just move on quickly. I think sometimes they can experience this weird attachment in romantic relationships as well. They create emotional intimacy quickly and make the other person feel like they are very into them but it doesn’t really mean anything.

Yes I have always made friends easily.

Initiating
Being chatty
Showing an interest in them and complimenting them
Acting like you enjoy their company
Not being picky petty or sensitive
Being positive and laid back - easy going
Joking around a bit - light hearted


Whenever I make new friends, I think of something i 'need' them for. For example one new friend is really into skin and make up products. I don't wear anything but I asked her advice / recommendations for wrinkle management and she suggested a skin lotion she likes. I tried it and it just gives us something to talk about and it makes her feel as though she knows things that I don't and need her for! That type of thing.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Maybe because I don’t try to? I’m the same person everywhere. 100% authentic.

I thought more about it and this is not a rare trait, because I have a village with several of these characteristics, to say the least. I am kind, sincere, non-judgmental, and always open to change and healthy criticism. I am honest, assertive and naturally advocate for what is right. I love to inspire and encourage the best in people. I’m also very discrete and never violate trust, I don’t gossip, and I don’t keep close company with people who gossip. I’m not revengeful or hateful or jealous. I’m empathetic and compassionate, but I also don’t take any mistreatment and try to redirect or transform negative energy.

It is easy to make friends, but I have a well cultivated circle of friends over the years that naturally came together as I matured. Each friendship is unique and rich. It wasn’t always this way. I used to be very insecure and self-conscious about everything, and even then I made friends easily; the quality was very different. Some of us grew together and some of us took different paths over the years. Can’t think of any relationship where there is bad blood.

No

Foreign service and military kids are very good at it. Short tours of duty are a focusing experience. There's more at stake to make friends because they're starting from zero. They get to practice making friends every time they move.

Yes. Maybe because I don’t try to? I’m the same person everywhere. 100% authentic.

Yes. I’m open and engaging - am interested or pretend to be interested in people.

What makes you good at it?