Anonymous wrote:It is going to be very very difficult if you also have an intention of having more kids. The emotional toll on you and your kids will have long last impacts. Your kids are going to suffer the most so please don't hurry in getting married.

If you are ex's are still around and involved then please make sure your relationship with them is cordial otherwise any hiccups in your household could cause you to lose primary custody of your kids. I have seen it in a few cases in which the other parent is too eager to get married and tensions at home result in losing time with the kids.

That rarely happens. Usually mom gets upset at Dad and replaces new boyfriend/husband with Dad and denies time to dad.

It is going to be very very difficult if you also have an intention of having more kids. The emotional toll on you and your kids will have long last impacts. Your kids are going to suffer the most so please don't hurry in getting married.

If you are ex's are still around and involved then please make sure your relationship with them is cordial otherwise any hiccups in your household could cause you to lose primary custody of your kids. I have seen it in a few cases in which the other parent is too eager to get married and tensions at home result in losing time with the kids.

There is no such thing as a blended family. Blending indicates homogeny which rarely happens.

I suggest you start by reading stepfamily forums and reading about all the problems that arise. You have no idea how difficult a path this is.

Second, you and your prospective spouse better have VERY good and cordial relationships with your exes. If you don't it will make it incredibly hard and all these kids will suffer.

Last but not least, be aware that second marriages that involve children have a 70% failure rate.

Don't get married, just date. Don't have any more children. Focus on being the best parent for your child that you can.

It's better to do this when they are young. My mom remarried when I was 9 and my brother was 11. My stepbrother was maybe 13, stepsister was 10 and another stepsister was 7. If this all had happened by the time the oldest was 10 or so, it would've worked out better.

No. Is his ex still around? If do, run as fast bad you can.

You don’t need more kids.

Just recently we had the thread about the mom who basically raised her husband's child from an early age, with her own, and now the husband's child is getting all kinds of help from his/her grandparents and her kid gets nothing. Such a heartbreaking mess for the kid left out.

I think it’s a lot harder to make a blended family work.

You’re going to have all the standard problems that couples face navigating parenting and marriage with the added stress of added co-parents. That’s 4 different parenting styles! 4 sets of in-laws! Money issues! Discipline issues! Everything will have more opportunities for misunderstandings, hurt feelings and resentment.

Make sure your communication with your partner is rock solid. Go to a marriage counselor. Ask each other. all the awkward questions. Others have mentioned a few: how do you handle disparate treatment from extended family? What happens if your stepchild breaks the rules? Can you discipline them? What happens if your bio children fight? How to handle? Write down every question you can think of and talk through it. Discuss how you’re going to split finances. Everything.

Good luck!

New kids will replace the old kids. 4 kids is too many. Just be happy with the ones you have.

Yes, it works. But, big but every single parent needs to be on board. Meaning ex's need to be caring towards all the children not just theirs, because there might be some over lap.

Yeah whoa Nelly.

I have a blended family (10 year old and 1 year old). My ex also has a 3 year old.

Are you married? If not, then you are thinking far too ahead.

You need to slow down! You have a 4yo and you have been in a relationship 3 years? When did you divorce? And you live together already? Slow down or you will damage these children.

I encourage you to have a lot of conversations with your partner about how you will treat all children. How much discipline and authority to you expect to have over your stepchild and vice versa for your spouse over your biological child. Your kids are young now, totally different ball game as they are teens.

You will find his family of origin or yours may treat your children differently and that can be heartbreaking. How you you handle it when 3 of your 4 children recieve big gifts or inheritances and one is left out?

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been seriously seeing someone for 3 years. We each have a child with an ex-spouse, one is 9, one is 4. 9 yo is 50/50, 4 yo is 70/30 (with us). I’d like to get married and have 1-2 more children but I’m struggling with how that will impact the current kids. On one hand, they’re all young and could grow up together part time, but I don’t want them to feel left out of a “traditional family”.

I’d love to hear any experiences (good or bad) with blended families like this.

'

You're already living together?

I’ve been seriously seeing someone for 3 years. We each have a child with an ex-spouse, one is 9, one is 4. 9 yo is 50/50, 4 yo is 70/30 (with us). I’d like to get married and have 1-2 more children but I’m struggling with how that will impact the current kids. On one hand, they’re all young and could grow up together part time, but I don’t want them to feel left out of a “traditional family”.

I’d love to hear any experiences (good or bad) with blended families like this.