Anonymous
Post 09/10/2020 17:26     Subject: Is soccer still number one for DS
Anonymous wrote:Is your DS playing soccer for you or for himself?


My exact thought after reading this!

OP put him back in rec and see of he likes it bettee. Maybe woth a less barky coach. Travel can be strenuous and not for eveyone. Try swimming or baskeball more and see if he likes it.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2020 14:47     Subject: Is soccer still number one for DS
It has everything to do with the coach
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2020 14:25     Subject: Is soccer still number one for DS
Anonymous wrote:Noticed a decrease in DS' motivation and passion this season so far. I know its early and perhaps he is shaking off some rust from not having a spring season. But he doesn't appear to be that into it, which is a bit sad. He was a rec beast and had been doing fine in travel (always struggles with stamina) but noticed this season he just isn't into it like his teammates. I think having a new coach that barks a lot and consistently stop practice to "teach" (50% of practice consists of this) is part of the issue. I have been mostly positive and supportive of him and even mentioned he does not have to play soccer if he does not like it. I just know he is very good at it and if just finds the motivation to work harder he'll be back to craving soccer every moment he can like he used to. I fear the stories I've heard and read about great young players fizzling out after a few years and fear this might be happening...


Some kids lose their drive when they no longer perceive themselves to be the best. You son may have liked playing soccer enough, but he what may have loved was being one of the stronger players (in rec) even more. Now that there is more competition on a travel team and is not "a rec beast" he may not be that interested anymore. I know a lot of kids like this and not just with sports. Not an ideal personality trait but it is what it is.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2020 13:48     Subject: Re:Is soccer still number one for DS
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks for the responses. He is playing for himself as I made it clear he isn't playing for anyone but himself. I have relaxed on pushing him significantly as I know that can push a kid away even further. He still loves games and hates practice (nothing new here) but I try to explain that only through hard work in practice will he A. Get playing time, B. Get better. He loves watching soccer and is always updating me on whats happening with scores and transfers etc. He does not play fortnite and we are strict on screen time. As one pp mentioned, i'll give it some time to see where he's at by end of fall.

As a parent, It's hard not to push your child knowing they can be so much better at something but then walk the fine line of not overdoing it...


I was a PP with a talented son, and you are absolutely right. It is incredibly difficult to watch a child squander talent, especially if you think it is due to an aversion to working hard. But honestly, sometimes what seems lazy is fear, insecurity, or a lack of passion that other kids have. That's perfectly fine. In a perfect world, our passions and talents would align, but that is not always the case.

By the way, how old is your son? Soccer is a really hard sport during those U-12/13 and even beyond years when some boys have grown and gone through puberty and others aren't even started. That can contribute to reduced interest.


He's a U11, so still young. He isn't competing with puberty just yet. Perhaps you are right about it being something else like insecurity or fear. He is an introvert and very observant so it could be confidence or something outside of his abilities.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2020 13:21     Subject: Re:Is soccer still number one for DS
Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks for the responses. He is playing for himself as I made it clear he isn't playing for anyone but himself. I have relaxed on pushing him significantly as I know that can push a kid away even further. He still loves games and hates practice (nothing new here) but I try to explain that only through hard work in practice will he A. Get playing time, B. Get better. He loves watching soccer and is always updating me on whats happening with scores and transfers etc. He does not play fortnite and we are strict on screen time. As one pp mentioned, i'll give it some time to see where he's at by end of fall.

As a parent, It's hard not to push your child knowing they can be so much better at something but then walk the fine line of not overdoing it...


I was a PP with a talented son, and you are absolutely right. It is incredibly difficult to watch a child squander talent, especially if you think it is due to an aversion to working hard. But honestly, sometimes what seems lazy is fear, insecurity, or a lack of passion that other kids have. That's perfectly fine. In a perfect world, our passions and talents would align, but that is not always the case.

By the way, how old is your son? Soccer is a really hard sport during those U-12/13 and even beyond years when some boys have grown and gone through puberty and others aren't even started. That can contribute to reduced interest.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2020 13:17     Subject: Re:Is soccer still number one for DS
OP here, thanks for the responses. He is playing for himself as I made it clear he isn't playing for anyone but himself. I have relaxed on pushing him significantly as I know that can push a kid away even further. He still loves games and hates practice (nothing new here) but I try to explain that only through hard work in practice will he A. Get playing time, B. Get better. He loves watching soccer and is always updating me on whats happening with scores and transfers etc. He does not play fortnite and we are strict on screen time. As one pp mentioned, i'll give it some time to see where he's at by end of fall.

As a parent, It's hard not to push your child knowing they can be so much better at something but then walk the fine line of not overdoing it...
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2020 13:15     Subject: Is soccer still number one for DS
Anonymous wrote:It took me a while to realize this, but you can't be someone else's motivation for something like this. My son is older than yours, but my husband used to offer him incentives like extra video game time for playing well. It motivated him in the minute, but didn't build up long term motivation or interest in soccer.


+1 . My son has, according to all of his coaches, exceptional talent, but honestly, his heart isn't in it enough for him to be great. He's had some bad experiences with clubs, and yes, maybe in a perfect situation he would have flourished. But ultimately, the kid has to want it. There's no sense going through the motions of travel soccer and all of the money and time that goes with it (at least in non-Covid times), if the passion isn't there.

I would give it some time to see if things improve, but don't treat your kid as a failure if the passion doesn't return quickly, or even if it doesn't return at all.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2020 13:07     Subject: Is soccer still number one for DS
Has the chemistry of the team changed? My DS was on a team he loved for years, but when they mixed in some new players, the environment became toxic. It just wasn't fun anymore for him. He moved to a less competitive team with friends, and he is back to loving it.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2020 12:02     Subject: Is soccer still number one for DS
It took me a while to realize this, but you can't be someone else's motivation for something like this. My son is older than yours, but my husband used to offer him incentives like extra video game time for playing well. It motivated him in the minute, but didn't build up long term motivation or interest in soccer.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2020 11:58     Subject: Is soccer still number one for DS
My DS is starting to be a bit more social (U13 player) so he wants to be with friends or engage with them on facetime calls and/or fortnite. Thankfully some of his friends play soccer so he will meet them on the fields to kick the ball around. He enjoys practices but for sure mostly motivated in competing. I love watching in play but I told him if he ever got bored or wasnt into it that he could stop playing (I would be sad on the inside) granted as someone else mentioned they would get into something else.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2020 11:31     Subject: Is soccer still number one for DS
These kids have been through a lot. My son is a U12. Similar to your son. But once he heard there were games, he got excited. Now he is motivated to play. I'd give it some time and see how it does.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2020 11:10     Subject: Is soccer still number one for DS
Anonymous wrote:Noticed a decrease in DS' motivation and passion this season so far. I know its early and perhaps he is shaking off some rust from not having a spring season. But he doesn't appear to be that into it, which is a bit sad. He was a rec beast and had been doing fine in travel (always struggles with stamina) but noticed this season he just isn't into it like his teammates. I think having a new coach that barks a lot and consistently stop practice to "teach" (50% of practice consists of this) is part of the issue. I have been mostly positive and supportive of him and even mentioned he does not have to play soccer if he does not like it. I just know he is very good at it and if just finds the motivation to work harder he'll be back to craving soccer every moment he can like he used to. I fear the stories I've heard and read about great young players fizzling out after a few years and fear this might be happening...


Fortnite hands down. True for almost all teammates.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2020 11:06     Subject: Re:Is soccer still number one for DS
Everything has a shelf live. When one door closes another one opens. Embrace change.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2020 11:02     Subject: Is soccer still number one for DS
Is your DS playing soccer for you or for himself?
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2020 10:45     Subject: Is soccer still number one for DS
Noticed a decrease in DS' motivation and passion this season so far. I know its early and perhaps he is shaking off some rust from not having a spring season. But he doesn't appear to be that into it, which is a bit sad. He was a rec beast and had been doing fine in travel (always struggles with stamina) but noticed this season he just isn't into it like his teammates. I think having a new coach that barks a lot and consistently stop practice to "teach" (50% of practice consists of this) is part of the issue. I have been mostly positive and supportive of him and even mentioned he does not have to play soccer if he does not like it. I just know he is very good at it and if just finds the motivation to work harder he'll be back to craving soccer every moment he can like he used to. I fear the stories I've heard and read about great young players fizzling out after a few years and fear this might be happening...