Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Vulnerability requires intimacy. To blast something out on a public Instagram is the opposite of that. Also to share your bad moments to the public isn't asking for forgiveness from the people you've had a bad moment with (your family). It isn't looking for support in moving forward from family and close friends. It's looking for validation that you are still OK - and strangers can't really give that, but only the sham of that.

This is insightful. I agree.

+2

Anonymous wrote:Vulnerability requires intimacy. To blast something out on a public Instagram is the opposite of that. Also to share your bad moments to the public isn't asking for forgiveness from the people you've had a bad moment with (your family). It isn't looking for support in moving forward from family and close friends. It's looking for validation that you are still OK - and strangers can't really give that, but only the sham of that.

This is insightful. I agree.

Because people are only putting the good days out and posting Instagram photos of poised, clean, and perfect families.

This is why I like TikTok - less easy to life. If your home life is a mess, its immediately clear...literally.

People have utterly lost the ability to separate private and public life. Honestly, we would benefit enormously from reintroducing etiquette classes in school, because obviously parents are no longer teaching their children the basics of social living and it is most evident in the complete destruction of personal boundaries in public discourse. Yesterday I saw a commercial of a company that prides itself on treating its employees “like family“. That is not something you want to strive for.

That, and women face enormous pressure to be looked at, and for a variety of reasons, so this is a mostly woman problem.

90% of social media is women seeking attention and this is one way that apparently works.

Vulnerability requires intimacy. To blast something out on a public Instagram is the opposite of that. Also to share your bad moments to the public isn't asking for forgiveness from the people you've had a bad moment with (your family). It isn't looking for support in moving forward from family and close friends. It's looking for validation that you are still OK - and strangers can't really give that, but only the sham of that.

Like all form of social media it's another form of attention seeking.

Anonymous wrote:It makes me sad that rather than asking for help from her husband or grandparent or a babysitter she chooses to complain about it on Instagram for LIkes

To be fair, her story is not unusual during Covid. Millions of women are stuck trying to manage work and children at the same time. It’s easy to say ask for help, but not everyone has grandparents willing or able to provide full-time care, especially now, and often spouses are working full-time too. The burden is falling on the moms, and that’s just the reality of it.

It makes me sad that rather than asking for help from her husband or grandparent or a babysitter she chooses to complain about it on Instagram for LIkes

Instagram mom confessions are off-putting. Heck, instagram posts are off-putting.

I think it’s to counteract the 90% of posts that show people on their best days.

That said, it still feels contrived to me, and I feel like the only women who ever do this are already very privileged. It’s easier to “be vulnerable” if you feel confident it won’t impact people’s already overwhelmingly positive attitudes toward you. So you mostly see white, UMC, thin, pretty women doing this. And I’ll also note that both the photo and caption here are perfect in their own way. She and her kids still look cute, even if they are crying. She notes she’s working full time — would a SAHM be able to write this without people complaining she “doesn’t really work”?

So I get the impulse but like almost everything on SM, it’s still artificial.

This is a certain kind of humblebrag. Look at me, I'm so in the trenches with my kids, and I'm full reveal. I don't need to make pretty cover stories like other people. But I just happen to have a selfie stick when the mascara starts running (and of course I'm wearing full make up).

I kinda like this.

But at the same time, I think it's offputting because if you are sharing this with strangers as a part of being vulnerable, it makes me wonder if you are really ever "really" vulnerable.

We have this weird culture of atonement in the US where everyone is expected to lay themselves bare so everyone else can feel better. It's so bizarre and such a time waster. Just get on with it!

It's a GIVEN we have good days AND BAD DAYS

WHYYYYYYYY do this? It's this weird cultural quirk. It's bizarre.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CEj9wq2gcdS/