My DH does not model well, truth be told. He will cook occasionally, orders groceries, and never cleans.(we have help 2 times a month) I have my kids ages 13 and 10 unload dishwasher, load dishwasher(not every day and they rotate) set the table a few times a week, my 13 year old takes out the trash and recycling most times, my 10 year old will clean up her room, dust and spray surfaces to clean, I personally don't care if they make their beds or what their rooms look like as long as all clean clothes are put in drawers/ hung up and there isn't food let in the bedrooms.
I am training them to do laundry-they have done it before but it needs more training and consistency to be helpful. I work very part-time and I still think they should help and frankly my DH should do more.

Yes! Our tweens do their own laundry, make their beds and keep their rooms neat...mostly....and each assists with the dinner dishes two evenings a week. We started them with small chores when they were very young such as putting all the toys away and they have gotten use to it.

Mine doesn't have an actual chore list, but is expected to pick up after herself, unload the dishwasher when needed, keep her bathroom tidy and wiped down, clean up spills, return the kitchen to order after cooking, and generally not contribute to household squalor. She also does her own laundry.

Given her usual school and extracurricular workload, we don't really ask her to do anything more than we (working parents) do on a daily basis. We have a housekeeping service do the big cleaning jobs every two weeks, and we all pitch in to keep things to a reasonable level of cleanliness and order in between.

During the pandemic, though, we haven't had our regular housekeeping service, so we've taken the opportunity to teach her how to do the bigger tasks that we usually outsource, now that she's truly old enough to do them properly without heavy oversight. We've all taken turns doing things like vacuuming/mopping, dusting, polishing furniture, deep-cleaning kitchen and bathrooms, etc.

So even if we do eventually go back to twice-monthly housekeeping, I'll feel comfortable that she at least knows how to do those things whenever she lives on her own.

DS (5) is supposed to make his bed (but doesn't always). He puts away his (folded) laundry. He takes his dishes to the counter after meals. He carries a thing or two if we are going anywhere (a ball to the park, etc.). When we used to go grocery shopping, I would give him a bag with 1-2 items in it to carry, and would tie it so it's not dragging on the floor. He LOVES contributing and fees very proud for the most part.

I have just one younger elementary kid so maybe we don't have lot of chores to go around? So anyway kid does 0 chores I find it faster to do everything myself for now (DH does a few). We also have pets but I don't want half done job of taking care so waiting until DC is a bit older to help with that.

Moms of older elementary, tween, teen moms what chores do you give and does your husband help out at all? Does he believe, help enforce the kids to do their chores?

When you ask if the husband "helps out" it implies that it's not his responsibility. That is false. It's as much his responsibility as it is yours. Of course the kids have chores. They need to keep their bedrooms relatively clean (obviously no food or drinks except one container of water), they need to keep their bathrooms relatively clean (the cleaning lady will scrub but the kids can't leave a mess), and in general they need to clean up after themselves. I have one kid who likes to get up early so that kid is in charge of the dog's breakfast and fresh water. Then the same kid and Dad go walk the dog together. Whichever kid gets home first after school walks the dog. If they have a caged pet in their room they are solely responsible for it.

Our household functions from the premise of "we are a family and we all help The Family to run smoothly." So yes, Kid A has made Kid B's bed when Kid B is in a rush and could use help. Kid C has fed the dog when Kid A is sick and not getting up. Of course DH enforces and models all of this.

To me parenting is teaching them to be a responsible part of a household, not being their servant. Similarly, DH models this by doing dishes, laundry, cooking, yard work, taking out trash/recycling/compost, etc. We all pitch in to maintain the home and hearth.

We do not have a house cleaner or gardener. The kids help with everything but they are still very young so I use “help” loosely. I think it’s important for them to learn those skills and be self sufficient. My DH models great behavior of doing housework as well.

Of course! They made their bed everyday, cleaned their room, brought their plate to the sink after meals, unloaded backpacks and dumped lunch Ypres to be washed in the sink. During the summer, kids had increased house chores. I have 2 sons and figured I would be thanked by their future wives.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, of course. Partly because I'd rather bank the money than outsource all of the work, and partly because everyone needs to contribute and learn life skills.

+1.

My kids also behave better when they have a sense of purpose. Contributing around the house is one good way to do that right now (and in general).

It does not matter if you are affluent or a SAHM/WOHM. Kids should have chores around the house and learn to do things like clean a bathroom and mow a lawn (even if you normally outsource this).

Yes, of course. Partly because I'd rather bank the money than outsource all of the work, and partly because everyone needs to contribute and learn life skills.

They feed and walk the dog 2x per week. My H does the am as a mindfulness Practice. I do lunch for exercise 5x /week.

They take the trash out and bring groceries in.

They do their laundry starting HS and wash their car.

I do all the cooking. (Because I love it)
My H does all the dishes. (Because he is controlling)
My kids empty the dishwasher.

We have a cleaner ever other week.

My H and I enjoy yard word do we do it but if we need help we ask.

I have a wealthy SAHM friend and she's focused on a Montessori approach where the kids pick up after themselves and clean up behind their own messes from a young age. They make their own beds, they do laundry and dishes. They don't mop floors (outside of cleaning up a spill) or scrub toilets or mow the lawn, because that stuff is outsourced. But I agree those are life skills they'll need to learn and I assume they will as they get older - they're very early elem now.

Or since you are home (have a house cleaner), do most of the inside work yourself? I.e. empty dish washer, load dishwasher every day, do laundry loads, do any additional sweeping/ vacuuming, etc.?

Our house- Outside work, take out the garbage, unload groceries, etc. - I have the kids help out; They’re suppose to take care/feed/walk the dog, pick up sticks, leaves, occasionally weed (barely). My two kids are responsible for their rooms and shared bathroom (gross). DD does her own laundry, DS will have to start doing his own clothes now that he is going into middle school. I personally hate cleaning up after the kitchen, loading/unloading the dish washer. I have the kids unload the dishwasher every now and then, dust on occasion. I’m more concerned they know how to do these things for when they grow up and have their own place. I do bulk of the workload because I’m a SAHM; their homework, tests, schoolwork is their main job. I want to add on to their chore lists, make a formal list of chores but I feel guilty because I’m home.

Moms of older elementary, tween, teen moms what chores do you give and does your husband help out at all? Does he believe, help enforce the kids to do their chores?