If you wear perfume or some kind of scent, put a little on a stuffed animal so he can smell it to calm his nervous system. He won’t have to actually sniff, because the scent will be there and he will smell it subconsciously. You can try a social story that you write and illustrate yourself, with photos of him in the bedtime process and pretending to be asleep while you peek at him, and photos of you just down the hall in your bed. If he is worried about his personal safety, don’t get into what ifs with him at this age. Just tell him firmly that your house is safe and you will take care of him. And monitor anything he might see on screens. It will take a while. Try running him ragged, so he sleeps more soundly. Try a placebo drink of water with food coloring, just s tiny bit of both, and tell this makes little boys sleep better.

Yes, leave a lamp on. Works with both my kids. With one I can turn it off part way through the night. The other insists it be on all night and will call us at 2am to turn it back on if we have turned it off.

You could try twinkle lights or other string lights too.

We use our Hatch to play music for our daughter at bedtime, and she sleeps with a pretty big lamp on. She preferred the overhead light but we got her to agree to the lamp. Way too bright for me to sleep, but it doesn't bother her at all.

He's a tiny bit young for this, but not by much. Tell him you'll check on him every ten minutes, then do it. When he wakes up in the morning, tell him you checked on him a bunch of times through the night, too. Tell him, you were sweaty or you had dropped your blanket and I put it back on you, or whatever, so he feels someone was watching out for him while he was asleep. It worked for us. Also, "If anything is going to get you, it will have to be through me" etc.

OP here - We have a white noise machine currently.

For the story suggestion - what do you actually play the story on? Your phone and just go back to get it when the child falls asleep?

At that age my kids liked their nightlight plus the light of their OK to Wake clock on. The OK to Wake times out after somewhere between 30 minutes to 2 hours after you set it, so it's not on all night. We also have used one of those battery operated candles that's on a 5 hour on/19 hour off timer.

Try Storynory stories and/or a white noise machine.

Does his night light project anything into the room? DD is the same age and has a monitor that also projects stars/planets on her ceiling. She enjoys it a lot.

Maybe try something like that? We've also given her toys that don't make noise, but have a light she can turn on. Then we tell her to turn it on if she gets scared.

I remember my nephew having something that played lullabies and projected stars softly moving on the ceiling.

My 3.5 son is going through a scared of the dark phase, and we have been staying in his room with him until he falls asleep. Not ideal - it sometimes takes 90 minutes or more. He claims he is scared of his entire room, so we haven't been able to identify if it is any one thing bothering him. If we don't stay in there, he cries and says he is scared and pulls his blankets on either side of his face frantically/hysterically. I thought at first it might be a stall tactic, but he does seem really worked up.

He has a night light but wants the overhead light too, which I worry makes it too bright to sleep. I thought maybe soft music or lullabies might help? Any recs for a device or something to play soft music? Or any other general tips/things that worked for you?? He woke up almost every hour last night and was really flipping out. He has never really been a great sleeper, but about 10 days ago he would just read or play with his animals until he fell asleep, didn't need an adult in there with him.