Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to a divorce attorney. Most will do a free 30 min initial consultation.

Absolutely see an attorney ASAP. Don't wait. A divorce attorney might or might not know details of real estate or contract law, but a good divorce attorney is going to be willing to admit that and say, "I know a lawyer who handles those areas and will call her and ask right now."

Protect yourself financially, OP, hence the need to get solid legal advice before you show your husband your hand re: wanting divorce.

By the way, the PP who snarked at you about poor timing is a grade A jerk. Pay that PP all the attention he or she deserves, which is none. Divorce is stressful enough as it is. The added stress of a home contract must make it so much worse for you, OP. Take a deep breath, get a lawyer, and stay strong.

Honestly I'm used to that kind of stuff from my DH, so it just feels like more of the same.

Anonymous wrote:Is the sale contingent on financing? No way you are going to get financing if you separate during this process. But agree with PP - it's time to walk away from the earnest money. If you go ahead with the sale the transaction costs of selling it again in a few months will no doubt be higher than the deposit.

+1. Also, it's not really fair for the other party selling you this house that it's been tied up by you and then you decide to walk away from the transaction. That's exactly what the earnest money is designed to protect against.

You might want to talk to the realtor about this too. The seller may just want to get rid of you and might settle for less than all of the earnest money so they can get on with selling their house. That's a really large deposit on a house so I'm assuming you are trying to buy in a hot area so it might be easy for the seller to re-sell the house. I wouldn't count on getting it all back though because the seller probably won't get as high of a sale price, buyers will look at the house as damaged goods and wonder what made you walk away from it.

Just curious...we have 2 couples that moved into brand new McMansions ($1.7-1.9 million range) in our neighborhood that divorced in 1-2 years. One had to then turn around and sell the house.

Why do couples on the brink of divorce go into major real estate deals?

In one case, the woman was blind-sided. Her husband revealed an affair and the AP was pregnant. In the other case, the marriage had been rocky.

Is it like couples that think a new baby will save the marriage? Is it a guilt purchase?

Anonymous wrote:So you enter into marriage with someone and begin to purchase a house with him, decide you want to back out out of it all, cannot be up front with him about it, scheme and solicit advice from strangers, and you complain about his BS?!

He might not be a present, but you are not coming across as a winner. Maybe I don't have enough details.

OP didn't ask for your judgment. Just for advice about a contract situation. And not the contract where one "enters into marriage." Should she stay with him because she is contracted both by marriage and by a home purchase?

Do you usually take every situation and project your own insecurities and judgments onto it?

Anonymous wrote:Talk to a divorce attorney. Most will do a free 30 min initial consultation.

Absolutely see an attorney ASAP. Don't wait. A divorce attorney might or might not know details of real estate or contract law, but a good divorce attorney is going to be willing to admit that and say, "I know a lawyer who handles those areas and will call her and ask right now."

Protect yourself financially, OP, hence the need to get solid legal advice before you show your husband your hand re: wanting divorce.

By the way, the PP who snarked at you about poor timing is a grade A jerk. Pay that PP all the attention he or she deserves, which is none. Divorce is stressful enough as it is. The added stress of a home contract must make it so much worse for you, OP. Take a deep breath, get a lawyer, and stay strong.

So you enter into marriage with someone and begin to purchase a house with him, decide you want to back out out of it all, cannot be up front with him about it, scheme and solicit advice from strangers, and you complain about his BS?!

He might not be a present, but you are not coming across as a winner. Maybe I don't have enough details.

Maybe you should lose your earnest money for making such poorly timed decisions.

If there's an inspection contingency, make impossible demands

Talk to a divorce attorney. Most will do a free 30 min initial consultation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much was the earnest money? If it’s that bad being married to the man you were planning to buy a new house with, walk away. You’re about to pay a whole lot more to divorce him anyway.

50K

He agrees to give you $25k in the settlement, he gets the house to himself, done.

Who will live in the house post-divorce? Is it unaffordable to either of you by yourself?

Is the sale contingent on financing? No way you are going to get financing if you separate during this process. But agree with PP - it's time to walk away from the earnest money. If you go ahead with the sale the transaction costs of selling it again in a few months will no doubt be higher than the deposit.

Anonymous wrote:How much was the earnest money? If it’s that bad being married to the man you were planning to buy a new house with, walk away. You’re about to pay a whole lot more to divorce him anyway.

50K

How much was the earnest money? If it’s that bad being married to the man you were planning to buy a new house with, walk away. You’re about to pay a whole lot more to divorce him anyway.

Is there any way to get out of the house purchase without losing the earnest money? Perhaps continue with the loan process, but refuse to accept any offers to sell? I don't want to be tied to a million dollar house with this person. I'm so over his BS.