Pay them to babysit.

My cousin became her brothers second mom this way, it's not fair to the oldest child to have to babysit all the time without some reimbursement or special reward. I mean, if you are destitute, sure.

My oldest has never complained, because there really isn't anything for him to do when we leave him alone with his younger sibling. All he has to do is reach for glassware or bowls if she wants a snack, because she can't reach that high. We don't pay him.

We would rethink the arrangement if it was a question of changing diapers, giving bottles or actively supervising a young child who might get into trouble.

Parenting my little brother was awful and I never got paid for it. He was a major handful. 6 years younger. I think it wasn't healthy for him either. He should have had real adults around more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends? Once in a while looking after a younger sibling while parents run out to the store? Price of being a member of a family unit.

Relying upon teen for significant childcare unpaid (like to deal with all the school days?). You better pay up. You are the small,child’s parents, not the teen.

Agree with this. An occasional thing is fine, every Friday night for an extended period? No way.

+1
Every once in a while -- that's just being part of a family. And if the teen is home while you are out, they should be able to keep an eye on a younger sibling -- you shouldn't have to hire a sitter if the teen is going to be home anyway. But if you are expecting them to forgo other activities or plans in order to watch younger siblings when you want them to, then this should not be a regular expectation, unless you are paying them. Perhaps the payment might be non-monetary; you might exchange some other privilege or right in exchange for babysitting. But they should be compensated for their time.

Your younger kid may be too much work. My teen doesn't babysit for anyone else except yds, but yds is easy. He is also old enough and responsible enough to stay home alone. Yds is 11 and ods has been babysitting him since he was 10.

Not everybody likes kids or wants to be around them, even if it's their sibling. It's not your teen's problem that you have a huge age gap. If they don't want to babysit, don't force them. Teens are already dealing with enough these days, don't add to their stress.

Anonymous wrote:Boy or girl? I've found that parents usually only expect free babysitting from girls.

Meanwhile their brothers get paid to mow the lawn...

Yes I’ve seen that too

Anonymous wrote:Anyone here with kids who have an age gap? How do you handle it when the older sibling no longer wants to babysit or look out for the younger one?

Guess you know have to pay someone else! Just because they are older and born first does not mean it should make them the automatic babysitter.

If you're trying to push your COVID parenting off on the teen I can see why they'd be fed up.

You need to find another solution and let the child be a child.

Anonymous wrote:It depends? Once in a while looking after a younger sibling while parents run out to the store? Price of being a member of a family unit.

Relying upon teen for significant childcare unpaid (like to deal with all the school days?). You better pay up. You are the small,child’s parents, not the teen.

Agree with this. An occasional thing is fine, every Friday night for an extended period? No way.

Boy or girl? I've found that parents usually only expect free babysitting from girls.

Meanwhile their brothers get paid to mow the lawn...

It depends? Once in a while looking after a younger sibling while parents run out to the store? Price of being a member of a family unit.

Relying upon teen for significant childcare unpaid (like to deal with all the school days?). You better pay up. You are the small,child’s parents, not the teen.

Yeah you’ve got to pay them. I hate to be so morbid but they didn’t choose for you to have that many
Kids. It’s not her fault you had so many kids. If they wanted to deal with kids she’d have them herself. By choosing not to have kids yet she’s earned the freedom to just do her household chores and “do nothing.” Sorry but I was constantly forced to watched my very young, unmarried sister’s child constantly and for the dumbest reasons (so she could go to Starbucks twice a day) starting when I was 16 and I hated it.

Are you paying them for their time. If not, start.

Anyone here with kids who have an age gap? How do you handle it when the older sibling no longer wants to babysit or look out for the younger one?