Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All my kid's friends have AirPods, smart phones and plans, iPads, laptops. They are 17. I helped my son redecorate his room last summer to make it more young adult comfortable. He does not ask for a car because we live in the city and he takes a scooter to get around. He has an online job so he is earning money for the summer. I don't see anything wrong with these items. How old is your child -- 12?

OP here - he’s turning 16. He has a new iPhone. He doesn’t need a laptop and he doesn’t need a car b/c we live in the city and so many of his friends have cars!

Do I give him $200 AirPods because his friends all have them?

He is a musician and listens to music-his own and other peoples’ - quite a lot.

He can get a job if he wants luxury items

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All my kid's friends have AirPods, smart phones and plans, iPads, laptops. They are 17. I helped my son redecorate his room last summer to make it more young adult comfortable. He does not ask for a car because we live in the city and he takes a scooter to get around. He has an online job so he is earning money for the summer. I don't see anything wrong with these items. How old is your child -- 12?

OP here - he’s turning 16. He has a new iPhone. He doesn’t need a laptop and he doesn’t need a car b/c we live in the city and so many of his friends have cars!

Do I give him $200 AirPods because his friends all have them?

He is a musician and listens to music-his own and other peoples’ - quite a lot.

$30 a month isn't even $10 a week. What is he expected to spend the allowance on? That's not even lunch out once a week, or (pre pandemic) one movie out with friends a week, or barely one coffee drink a week. At a minimum, I'd up the allowance - there's that guideline of a dollar a week per year of age, so at least I'd give him $15 a week, or $60 a month.

Clearly a rich people problem.

Not many parents can entertain any doubt about their response, OP.

Anonymous wrote:If this were another time, I'd suggest taking him to volunteer at a food bank or soup kitchen. It's not so easy to ask for expensive wants when coming face to face with people who struggle to attain what they need to survive.

Perhaps a documentary? You could try Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things or Living On One Dollar.

It seems like he's hyperfocusing on his little world rather seeing what the rest of the world is going through. This could be a good teachable moment.

Poor people are not props for you to use to teach your entitled child about privilege.

I would laugh very hard.

My kids have never really done this, because they understood since they were little that I am not easily swayed in this manner.

I asked for expensive stuff when I was a teen. (Didn’t get most of it.) I cringe now thinking about it.

My 14yr. old asks for these things too. He has 4 pairs of shoes (I think too many for a boy his age), AirPods (he bought himself with birhtday money), phone (family plan- with a lot of data) a car (not yet, but when he "needs" one it will be something used/affordable) Xbox (shares one with brother, lots of interaction with friends) basement room (we have a nice and simple comfy basement). A must, not negotiable: Good grades, help around the home, tidy room, etc. He also does sports.

Help him learn how to budget, he's got a job, so nows the perfect time to learn how to do it.


Room renovation, within a reasonable budget and requests is to be expected as the get older, and no longer want a childish looking room, it should be something flexible so that it can be changed over fairly easily when his tastes change or when he moves out.

Othet stuff can be asked for but may not get, big ticket items are usually saved for birthdays, Christmas, maybe graduation or spectacular report card. Everynow and then splurge on a surprise gift.

He gets necessities such as shoes, but not a new pair of shoes everytime a new one comes out, unless that's what he wants to spend his money on.

Phone you decide what you want to pay for and he works within that.


Of course, this is all contingent on him being a responsible owner if he's always asking for stuff because he's smashing it up . I would not be so inclined to replace it on my dime.

Anonymous wrote:All my kid's friends have AirPods, smart phones and plans, iPads, laptops. They are 17. I helped my son redecorate his room last summer to make it more young adult comfortable. He does not ask for a car because we live in the city and he takes a scooter to get around. He has an online job so he is earning money for the summer. I don't see anything wrong with these items. How old is your child -- 12?

OP here - he’s turning 16. He has a new iPhone. He doesn’t need a laptop and he doesn’t need a car b/c we live in the city and so many of his friends have cars!

Do I give him $200 AirPods because his friends all have them?

He is a musician and listens to music-his own and other peoples’ - quite a lot.

put him on a monthly budget.

Thank you. We volunteer at a food bank distribution center one day/ week

The other family that volunteers is a single mom w/4girls who all wear fancy sneakers and manicures and have boyfriends who drive fancy cars

Many of the people who come through the line to get food are driving very fancy cars

We are not poor And we have no bills but we live On a single income and we are careful with our spending.

I will try a documentary-

All my kid's friends have AirPods, smart phones and plans, iPads, laptops. They are 17. I helped my son redecorate his room last summer to make it more young adult comfortable. He does not ask for a car because we live in the city and he takes a scooter to get around. He has an online job so he is earning money for the summer. I don't see anything wrong with these items. How old is your child -- 12?

If this were another time, I'd suggest taking him to volunteer at a food bank or soup kitchen. It's not so easy to ask for expensive wants when coming face to face with people who struggle to attain what they need to survive.

Perhaps a documentary? You could try Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things or Living On One Dollar.

It seems like he's hyperfocusing on his little world rather seeing what the rest of the world is going through. This could be a good teachable moment.

He can ask. That doesn’t mean you say yes.

Shoes, AirPods, phone plans with a lot of data, a car, Xbox, basement room renovation,

It never seems to end. He works a little bit but between COVID and family vacations- not much. And that’s his walking around money-

He gets an allowance ($30/mo)

Should we let him spend it on whatever he wants? He’s home all the time now and wearing me down.

Please advise