I agree with confidence and how they carry themselves, charisma.

confidence and often a large dose of stupidity - willing to go along with anything "fun" regardless of the risk.

Confidence, slight aloofness or low anxiety/neediness, and enough extroversion to get to know people.

Popular kids tend to have excellent, excellent social skills. While they may not always use their powers for good, their insight into others and general awareness of the nuances of social behavior is really high. That helps them say and do the right things to be popular.

Money, looks, a little bit mean and unreachable

Having an open mind, and not being racist helps. Realizing that one has privilege and acknowledgement of the same is an indicator of popularity

Anonymous wrote:I teach high school. Money and personality are big factors. For girls looks help, for boys being funny or athletic. All have confidence.

All PROJECT confidence.


I ended up sort of being accidentally 'popular' in my college, which was pretty small (about 4500-5000 undergrad)- which I didn't think was even a thing at college but I suppose smaller ones will have this much like high schools. I was a solidly middling kind of HS kid, never had a boyfriend but wasn't socially awkward. Was never allowed to go to parties (meaning no adult drinking parties, I still hung out with my friend group on weekends) but the popular kids who did go were also friends of mine through varsity sports, just like some of the sort of nerdy crowd (like OM, etc) were very welcoming to me. I was NOT confident but I tried to not let anyone know how badly I felt about myself because that would be WAY worse, IMO. So I did that fake it til you make it routine in college and I think I was really, really good at faking it. It wasn't real but suddenly I'm invited to everything, friends with people across all classes sort of known on campus as being very friendly (which I mean I am, but I'm not someone who is on the welcoming committee, etc). It was very weird in some ways for me and looking back I think a lot of it was that I pretended to not be self conscious at all- which was work. It took a couple years to let even my close friends in to see that I had issues too (very real ones in fact)

Popular-elitist/mean/feared, or popular-well-liked?

I'm popular and I think it's because I'm confident and comfortable in my own skin, to a degree where I can be a bit generous and bring people into conversations or situations if I see they look shy or nervous or feel excluded. Because I'm not overly worried about whether people like me, I'll take a chance to make a joke, try a new line of thought, be vulnerable.

Most people like me. Some don't. And that's all the same to me. It truly doesn't bother me if I don't get included in everything, or if the conversation doesn't shift my way, or if someone talks about an event I didn't attend. I go with the swim, so I'm in the swim.

I teach high school. Money and personality are big factors. For girls looks help, for boys being funny or athletic. All have confidence.

Firstly, that's for kids. Not adults.

For kids in San Francisco, it's being funny, smart and outgoing and easygoing. The poor kids can be popular here.

I was a total loser growing up. My daughter was born cool somehow. In kindergarten I was walking her out at the end of the day and like three different 5th graders yelled goodbye to her. That was the first time I realized she was popular. She's now about to enter 12th grade and still is.

Mostly charisma, but can also be looks and good PR, especially with younger kids and in work environments.

Their own imaginations; or the imaginations of those who give them that label.

Mean streak

Social skills, confidence, a good voice and way of speaking, appearance

Money, looks and personality

Cool crowds have existed since the dawn o' time.
What makes people "cool" or "popular"?