Anonymous wrote:My sharp-as-a-tack 96 year old grandfather, who lives alone, drives, cooks, and golfs has begun talking a lot about how this is going to be his last summer He seems so calmly certain of this. I am kind of starting to believe him.

My grandma just turned 96 and is talking about dying more as well. I think it’s mostly an acceptance that she can’t realistically have many birthdays left.

Keep talking to them and play hyms/meditative chants/prayers/favorite music softly. FaceTime from family if not there. Play home videos to hear voices comforting family voices and memories. The hearing is last to go.

Godspeed.

Anonymous wrote:My sharp-as-a-tack 96 year old grandfather, who lives alone, drives, cooks, and golfs has begun talking a lot about how this is going to be his last summer He seems so calmly certain of this. I am kind of starting to believe him.

Wow, I hope to be as fit physically and mentally and live to 96+. He’s so fortunate! I think sometimes old people have a feeling or less of a will to live.

Have you engaged hospice care? Definitely call them right away. They are fantastic and can help you navigate changes and symptoms.

My only advice is to accept their death and their manner of dying. Try rk sit with them in peaceful acceptance, not micromanaging or fussing over unimportant things. Sit where they can see your face, speak peacefully and not in an agitated voice, and reassure them of your presence.

Do not blame yourself if they slip away alone. It happens all the time, almost as if on purpose.

Limbs, particularly legs, become discolored. Breathing is with accessory muscles. There may be mucus in the airway, which you can hear, called a death rattle. The first two were both true for my parents, the latter I have witnessed in some of my residents who are on their way out of this life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Decreased eating, weakness, labored breathing.

This. Breathing was very strange and scary. Colder to the touch. Lots of sleeping. Hospice spoke with us a lot including a social worker.

This. Labored breathing, poor circulation. Having a few days of that, then one good day where you think they might pull through, then two more bad days, then gone.

A deep turning inwards, sleeping deeply and hard or impossible to wake them up. Focused on the journey ahead, detatched from the present.

Slipping away peacefully if they are left alone for a short time, or in the night. I think some people need solitude.

Anonymous wrote:Decreased eating, weakness, labored breathing.

This. Breathing was very strange and scary. Colder to the touch. Lots of sleeping. Hospice spoke with us a lot including a social worker.

My father died of heart failure at 90 and the signs were: steadily diminishing appetite (only wanted milkshakes and smoothies towards the end), marked physical weakness (more than usual), and 1-2 days before he died he was very confused and disoriented. I found out after he died that this is called "delirium" and that it is a sign of impending death. Another big sign before the event is losing control of bowels and/or bladder.

My sharp-as-a-tack 96 year old grandfather, who lives alone, drives, cooks, and golfs has begun talking a lot about how this is going to be his last summer He seems so calmly certain of this. I am kind of starting to believe him.

Kidney failure is the sign I know best to mark the Beginning of the true end. The blood becomes toxic, and our loved ones slip away mentally first and then comes their physical death.

Decreased eating, weakness, labored breathing.

Yes.

Are you talking about the actual process of dying? They often call out to the relatives who have passed away.

If you were a caregiver in the final days of an elderly loved one, what were the signs of impending death? What advice would you give to others facing the same situation?