Because the younger sibling is so so annoying - older sister here.

Give chores. Or punish both regardless who started (in whichever way you choose to dole out punishment in your family).

A-freakin-men, OP.

You’re describing every sibling relationship since the beginning of time, OP.

I dunno OP, but if you figure it out, please let me know.

Mine are 3 and 5 and being a referee just sucks.

If they fight over turns, no one gets The Thing. Basically remove yourself from policing it. If they continue to bicker, they both go spend time alone in their rooms with NO electronics, because you have to work.

I do try to be mindful if the older one is bullying the little one, but I try not to step in. If someone is crying, everyone loses the item. This helps entice the older one to keep the younger one happy.

My kids are the same ages and they bicker like crazy too. Drives me crazy, but I think the sibling relationship can be a safe training ground for learning to work out conflict, as long as they’re not physically harming each other or being purposefully cruel/emotionally manipulative. It can be a sign of a healthy relationship. My sister and I never fought at all, but have always had a pretty emotionally distant relationship, so I’d actually prefer that my kids are comfortable enough with each other to get into it a little bit and learn to roll with the punches, so to speak.

Anonymous wrote:Well they have been locked up together for about 100 days at this point. I am a mature adult and I love my DH (and chose him) but sometimes I totally feel like being petty and messing with him.

You can’t expect your kids to be more mature about all this! This. Is. Hard.

OP here. Yeah, I guess I just can't really understand that attitude from an adult. I get that kids aren't mature enough yet but hopefully they'll get there. I don't want to mess with my DH. Sometimes he gets on my nerves for sure and even the little things are more annoying now that he's always here, but I don't want to mess with him because it is obvious to me that it will make things worse for me, and for him. My goal is to try to enjoy the time as best as possible and try to be better at letting the little things go. Which includes my kids' bickering - I do need to get better about letting it go when it's not causing harm except annoying me.

Deep breaths.

Anonymous wrote:Let them deal with it. Who cares.

OP here. I guess I have a hard time just letting it all go because the older one is smarter/more experienced than the younger one so he has the upper hand always and it doesn't seem fair. If they were equally matched, then sure, go ahead and battle it out, but they aren't. Plus, all that crying and whining gets on my nerves and makes it hard to do my job. Also, I just want them to realize that being nice to each other pays off more than being jerks - seems like a good life lesson that I am clearly not imparting well.

Nothing a little hard labor won't fix. Surely you have some weeds that need to be pulled?

Well they have been locked up together for about 100 days at this point. I am a mature adult and I love my DH (and chose him) but sometimes I totally feel like being petty and messing with him.

You can’t expect your kids to be more mature about all this! This. Is. Hard.

Anonymous wrote:Let them deal with it. Who cares.

Well, I for one could’ve used a nicer home environment than experiencing my sister’s overt hatred of me on a daily basis. Probably set me up for the issues I have being friends with women that didn’t change until I became a mother. I also have a hard time believing anyone really wants to be my friend. It’s normal, sure, but not great. I am not perfect with my kids and thEy are younger, but I’m not going to tolerate yelling and attitude although I know that will be tougher in the teen years. But I also refuse to live in a loud/violent conflict zone. It was no fun punching my sister and her trying to break down my door to beat me up. Damn it sucked.

Let them deal with it. Who cares.

That's what siblings are for.

So tired of the constant stupid bickering between them and purposeful antagonizing. When are they mature enough to realize that if they cooperate with one another and stop getting on my nerves over stupid stuff both of their lives are so much easier and they get more of what they want?! Seriously, guys, if you just take turns on the electronics and let me do my work without constantly having to step in and mediate, I'll forget all about the time limits and you'll have hours. Instead, we're setting timers for taking turns and then I'm going to take it away from them.

Typical example: 12 year old will insist it's his turn to play with the xyz and then hang onto it without playing with it just so the 9 year old can't have it, just because it's his turn. Leaving the 9 year old to cry inconsolably. So fine, 12 year old, waste your turn for the joy of antagonizing your brother, then 9 year old gets his turn and then both of you must go outside and no one gets any more turns.