Use the pregnancy. "Given that I am pregnant, we are being extra-cautious." But, don't get to wrapped up in people's opinions on your choices.

Parenting is a competition in our generation, OP. Even more so now when the stakes are higher. You cannot do anything about how personally other people take your parenting decisions. Just say, “we can’t” and chance the subject. I’ve also done the self-mocking “you know me and my anxieties... “

Otherwise everything is taken as a challenge.

Anonymous wrote:

I would just say - “thanks so much for checking in - I hope you guys are doing great - we miss you. I’m still feeling nervous about things & we aren’t ready for get togethers yet, but I’ll call you when we are.”
If I had to guess, you’re probably coming off as holier than thou in your responses. So work on that if you can.

OP again. I don’t feel “holier than thou” so I hope I don’t come off that way. I know how lucky we are in our situation and we have just the one child (I’m pregnant with #2). I have said nearly exactly what you suggested and still have gotten “you are being ridiculous!” Type comments.

You are totally not in the wrong, but if you mention how lucky you are, even in an attempt to simply explain your response, I could see how this could grate a little... Again, I don't think you necessarily need to change what you are saying, but perhaps it comes off as "we are totally lucky and happy and set here, you're on your own pal!"

This. Whenever I hear someone say “we are SO lucky because xyz” it make me feel.... some sort of way. Hard to explain. It’s like they are saying “we are totally better off than you, and we know it.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just say - “thanks so much for checking in - I hope you guys are doing great - we miss you. I’m still feeling nervous about things & we aren’t ready for get togethers yet, but I’ll call you when we are.”
If I had to guess, you’re probably coming off as holier than thou in your responses. So work on that if you can.

OP again. I don’t feel “holier than thou” so I hope I don’t come off that way. I know how lucky we are in our situation and we have just the one child (I’m pregnant with #2). I have said nearly exactly what you suggested and still have gotten “you are being ridiculous!” Type comments.

Saying you are "lucky" to be able to continue social distancing and disallow all TV for your child suggests that you believe that's the best way to live. Anyone who makes a different choice is therefore leading a lesser life.

I expect that judgment is coming through in your communication with others.

Well yeah but don’t all parents make decisions based on what they think is best for their child (this “better”)? I’m with OP on this and know that no matter how I respond, someone else gets defensive and takes it personally.

These are very stressed times! But even before I was mocked for only giving DD homemade, fresh food (I’m a chef for God’s sake - why would I buy permafrost food?!) and nursing until She was two.

You’re with the OP because you’re holier than thou too. It’s fine but that’s the issue.

I don't care how people react. We are still practicing social distancing. I'm an adult, not a middle schooler, and I make decisions I think are best for my own kids without bowing to social pressure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just say - “thanks so much for checking in - I hope you guys are doing great - we miss you. I’m still feeling nervous about things & we aren’t ready for get togethers yet, but I’ll call you when we are.”
If I had to guess, you’re probably coming off as holier than thou in your responses. So work on that if you can.

OP again. I don’t feel “holier than thou” so I hope I don’t come off that way. I know how lucky we are in our situation and we have just the one child (I’m pregnant with #2). I have said nearly exactly what you suggested and still have gotten “you are being ridiculous!” Type comments.

Saying you are "lucky" to be able to continue social distancing and disallow all TV for your child suggests that you believe that's the best way to live. Anyone who makes a different choice is therefore leading a lesser life.

I expect that judgment is coming through in your communication with others.

Well yeah but don’t all parents make decisions based on what they think is best for their child (this “better”)? I’m with OP on this and know that no matter how I respond, someone else gets defensive and takes it personally.

These are very stressed times! But even before I was mocked for only giving DD homemade, fresh food (I’m a chef for God’s sake - why would I buy permafrost food?!) and nursing until She was two.

I would just say - “thanks so much for checking in - I hope you guys are doing great - we miss you. I’m still feeling nervous about things & we aren’t ready for get togethers yet, but I’ll call you when we are.”
If I had to guess, you’re probably coming off as holier than thou in your responses. So work on that if you can.

OP again. I don’t feel “holier than thou” so I hope I don’t come off that way. I know how lucky we are in our situation and we have just the one child (I’m pregnant with #2). I have said nearly exactly what you suggested and still have gotten “you are being ridiculous!” Type comments.

You are totally not in the wrong, but if you mention how lucky you are, even in an attempt to simply explain your response, I could see how this could grate a little... Again, I don't think you necessarily need to change what you are saying, but perhaps it comes off as "we are totally lucky and happy and set here, you're on your own pal!"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just say - “thanks so much for checking in - I hope you guys are doing great - we miss you. I’m still feeling nervous about things & we aren’t ready for get togethers yet, but I’ll call you when we are.”
If I had to guess, you’re probably coming off as holier than thou in your responses. So work on that if you can.

OP again. I don’t feel “holier than thou” so I hope I don’t come off that way. I know how lucky we are in our situation and we have just the one child (I’m pregnant with #2). I have said nearly exactly what you suggested and still have gotten “you are being ridiculous!” Type comments.

Saying you are "lucky" to be able to continue social distancing and disallow all TV for your child suggests that you believe that's the best way to live. Anyone who makes a different choice is therefore leading a lesser life.

I expect that judgment is coming through in your communication with others.

I think people probably just find it odd. The risks are low for kids and I feel terrible for your only child, frankly. Beyond that, the tv thing, nobody really cares. Everyone I know shows this militant about it now has kids who are glued to their phones. So I’d start teaching some moderation about it. It’s also a great too to demonstrate rules, times, etc.. and there’s a lot of great content out there now. Which is why schools use it. As said, you can make your own decisions, nobody ultimately cares, but I’d try to be a bit more thoughtful re your son. Let him ride a bike around the street with a kid or something, for the love.

Anonymous wrote:I was with you until you said you didn't allow TV, even during the pandemic. You are totally extreme, and giving people still socially distancing (like us) a bad name.

OP again. My kid is just three. If anything, because of our situation, the pandemic has given us less reason to introduce it than before.

I would just say - “thanks so much for checking in - I hope you guys are doing great - we miss you. I’m still feeling nervous about things & we aren’t ready for get togethers yet, but I’ll call you when we are.” If I had to guess, you’re probably coming off as holier than thou in your responses. So work on that if you can.

Agree. Just mention your own nervousness in passing and do not dwell on your friends' approach or imply they are making poor decisions. I personally am somewhere between you and your friends, and it would not offend me the least if my overture was declined politely. I would not love a lecture about flattening the curve however...

Anonymous wrote:I would just say - “thanks so much for checking in - I hope you guys are doing great - we miss you. I’m still feeling nervous about things & we aren’t ready for get togethers yet, but I’ll call you when we are.”
If I had to guess, you’re probably coming off as holier than thou in your responses. So work on that if you can.

OP again. I don’t feel “holier than thou” so I hope I don’t come off that way. I know how lucky we are in our situation and we have just the one child (I’m pregnant with #2). I have said nearly exactly what you suggested and still have gotten “you are being ridiculous!” Type comments.

I was with you until you said you didn't allow TV, even during the pandemic. You are totally extreme, and giving people still socially distancing (like us) a bad name.

I would just say - “thanks so much for checking in - I hope you guys are doing great - we miss you. I’m still feeling nervous about things & we aren’t ready for get togethers yet, but I’ll call you when we are.”
If I had to guess, you’re probably coming off as holier than thou in your responses. So work on that if you can.

We have decided to continue social isolation as much as possible. It’s not hard for us since we have a great nanny (who lives alone and only sees us) and I have always worked from home. Without DH’s commute and the gyms closed, he’s also home more. We’re lucky, I know. It seems over the past week, I get a daily call from a friend asking if DS is going to return to a class or for a play date. The first couple times I told the truth and just said we were continuing with strict social distancing and have been met with nearly angry responses. I must be wording it wrong. Please tell me how to respond without eliciting defensive or angry mocking.

Same in normal times when the subject of TV comes up. We don’t let DS watch anything including when his classes went remote (which is why it came up) and not for play dates when we were having them.

Thanks.