That honestly doesn’t sound that bad. Maybe there is something we are missing but honestly seems like they are just sending sweet pictures to the uncle and aunt. I don’t get it? Also, of course you need a system to decide who is there

OP here.
They didn’t even ask before showing up. Yes, we were slow on the uptake if weeks (we are busy) but who just shows up at a shared property for two weeks and then sends pictures bragging about amazing it is. It is shared space and they should have at least sent a text or email asking if it was cool
For their family to use the property.

You don’t have the backstory. BIL is historically and categorically aggressive over the shared property. He acts and thinks of it as his own private home. Is it too much to ask that he and his family give a heads up to siblings before they go em masse?

It’s not passive aggressive. It’s aggressive. He wants the property and he is squatting.

You and your husband sound like miserable people.

Anonymous wrote:
Umm... It doesn’t even sound like they know this upsets you!

Could you maybe use your words and say:

“Looks like so much fun! We’ll plan to be there 2 weeks from now! Let us know if you have any suggestions for the trip!”

I think you should go ahead and come up with a fair system on how to break up the weeks other than having this free for all

Or maybe she just texted a sweet pic of the kids and thought their uncle would enjoy it?

You sound like a bish

Umm... It doesn’t even sound like they know this upsets you!

Could you maybe use your words and say:

“Looks like so much fun! We’ll plan to be there 2 weeks from now! Let us know if you have any suggestions for the trip!”

Anonymous wrote:You said your husband would have loved.to be there right now. So why didn't he say something weeks ago? Or was he also just planning to go down without clearing it.

+1. I get a feeling it’s first come first served and the brother beat him to it.

Uh.

If you guys share a vacation house, you should work out a system for deciding who gets which weeks.

Anonymous wrote:You said your husband would have loved.to be there right now. So why didn't he say something weeks ago? Or was he also just planning to go down without clearing it.

Exactly this. So you’re basically mad that you BIL/SIL did exactly what you were going to do, they just did it first.

You two are a match made in passive aggressive heaven. Glad y’all found each other.

Had you guys planned to be there but not yet mentioned it to BIL? I feel like I’m missing something.

You said your husband would have loved.to be there right now. So why didn't he say something weeks ago? Or was he also just planning to go down without clearing it.

Is there really that big of a difference between this week and next (or the one after if this is week 1)?

Then going forward set up rules about staying there and having to agree on the dates

Your husband seems a bit much to be seething about this.

Did your husband use his words and tell the brother that he was hoping to go there at that time?

My husband and his siblings jointly own a property in a state where none of them live. BIL is a teacher,
As is his wife, and just decided to bring their kids to the shared space for First two weeks Of
Summer. Our family would have loved to be there, but we couldn’t because they were camped out.

SIL texted a picture of their kid frolicking at the property to my husband who is SEETHING that his brother is so aggressive and inconsiderate with his usage of th e shared property.

Maybe you could have checked in with your siblings before decamping with your family?! Would that be too much to ask? Or, maybe SIL, don’t taunt your husband’s brother with YOUR family enjoying the property when you don’t even ASk before you all just take over?

I’m so upset for my husband, who has a long and fraught relationship with said brother, and have to vent somewhere.