Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give him full custody. See the kid on weekends. SPlit the equity and no alimony because he is filing for divorce.

Sorry. Alimony is not an issue. Give him full custody and see the kid on weekends only. Lets see how this works out for him during the pandemic.

Don't take the kid. DO. NOT. TAKE. THE. KID.

Don't listen to this person and share custody. Why would you walk away from your child? Kids need both parents.

Anonymous wrote:What state are you in? He can't negotiate child support, that is dictated by state law. He can negotiate alimony, but custody is usually 50/50 so that's not really a leverage point. Plus alimony only exists if you are a SAHM and until you get a job, so very short term.

Honestly your family situation doesn't sound great and it sounds like you didn't care how he felt about it, so it sounds like divorce is for the best.

With equal income there is no alimony or child support but what needs to be worked out is who pays for what? Camps, day care, after school/before school care, activities and clothing.

Anonymous wrote:Give him full custody. See the kid on weekends. SPlit the equity and no alimony because he is filing for divorce.

Sorry. Alimony is not an issue. Give him full custody and see the kid on weekends only. Lets see how this works out for him during the pandemic.

Don't take the kid. DO. NOT. TAKE. THE. KID.

Anonymous wrote:Let him file. Then fight him tooth and nail for full custody and every penny you can squeeze out of him. Sounds like a loser anyway. You will be fine. Oh, and line up a date as soon as possible and rub his face in it.

Don't listen to this person.

Don't take away your child's father like PP said as you are hurting your child far more than him. You will not get alimony if you both have equal income and you will not get child support with 50/50 so take the $500 a month but he needs to split child care 50/50 if he's having 50/50 share. Tell him to move out now and file you want the separation on record and he can help you get the house ready to sell and that will give you time to find a new place. He's probably having an affair.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let him file. Then fight him tooth and nail for full custody and every penny you can squeeze out of him. Sounds like a loser anyway. You will be fine. Oh, and line up a date as soon as possible and rub his face in it.

Why should she fight for full custody? You're advising her to use her child as a pawn to spite her husband? What is wrong with you?

Screw him. He’s tearing about her family. And definitely tell him your new BF has a bigger D even if it’s not true!

He has made his decision. Let him file. Honestly he sounds very reclusive.

Also, coming from a daughter of an alcoholic there is nothing like exposure to an active alcoholic to prevent a child from becoming one.

Part of being in a relationship is attending family events, many times when you are not interested.

Sorry you are suffering. Understand he has made his decision.

Give him full custody. See the kid on weekends. SPlit the equity and no alimony because he is filing for divorce.

Anonymous wrote:

He has asked for 50/50 custody. He said he will take less of the split of equity in the home in exchange for no alimony. He is offering $500/month or child support. We make the same amount of income. He wants to file in 6 months after a trial separation and to give us time to pay down our mutual debts.

50/50 custody is the norm absent extenuating circumstances. There wouldn't be any alimony if you make the same income.

Frankly, I'm an introvert and would also tire of declining the family invitations or, worse, attending the events, but that's why I didn't marry an extrovert with a family like that.

Where are you that visiting your family was no big deal?

There is no chance he would have to pay alimony so take this deal as quickly as you can before he gets any advice.

Anonymous wrote:Let him file. Then fight him tooth and nail for full custody and every penny you can squeeze out of him. Sounds like a loser anyway. You will be fine. Oh, and line up a date as soon as possible and rub his face in it.

Why should she fight for full custody? You're advising her to use her child as a pawn to spite her husband? What is wrong with you?

What state are you in? He can't negotiate child support, that is dictated by state law. He can negotiate alimony, but custody is usually 50/50 so that's not really a leverage point. Plus alimony only exists if you are a SAHM and until you get a job, so very short term.

Honestly your family situation doesn't sound great and it sounds like you didn't care how he felt about it, so it sounds like divorce is for the best.

Total loser. He should embrace your alcoholic father and hard-line right-wing relatives instead of avoiding them.

Let him file. Then fight him tooth and nail for full custody and every penny you can squeeze out of him. Sounds like a loser anyway. You will be fine. Oh, and line up a date as soon as possible and rub his face in it.

I am blindsided.

I don’t want out but he does.

We’ve been married for 6 years. We have one child together. He said we are too different.

He is introverted and I am very extroverted. This weekend I went away with my family: my sister, brother, parents and my nieces and nephews. DH didn’t want to come, he stayed home with our son. When I tried to FaceTime or text, he declined the calls and didn’t answer.

He doesn’t like my family. He says we are too enmeshed. I see my family about once a week and he sees his once per year, if that. This has been an ongoing point of contention in our marriage for years. He agreed to come to Thanksgiving and Christmas only. He said he is getting tired of declining invites every week. He doesn’t like my family at all, they’re very republican or just not interested in politics. My husband is left wing and doesn’t agree with their ambivalence or lack of interest. My dad is an alcoholic and he doesn’t want our son exposed to that, which was another point of contention in our marriage. He complained that even when things are going well, he has to repeat himself 2-3x when he asks me a question, we never agree on anything, and we are constantly bickering. He said I need to find a man who wants to be a part of my family and do the weekend camping trips or attend the birthday parties. I’m so hurt.

He has asked for 50/50 custody. He said he will take less of the split of equity in the home in exchange for no alimony. He is offering $500/month or child support. We make the same amount of income. He wants to file in 6 months after a trial separation and to give us time to pay down our mutual debts.