Anonymous wrote:How on earth did you go from constant sex to divorce in a matter of weeks? Is there abuse? Infidelity?

+1

Yes. Wtf?

If you can’t last three months together, no way you are going to last 30+ years. I guess it’s better to cut loss and move on. Don’t get remarried though.

Ugh. Mine is. Similar story. First month seemed great- more help with the kids Bc he was working from home, more time for leisure.. Second month I started to piece together some behaviors that were happening more constantly that were driving me nuts and I started reflecting on our nine year marriage. Third month we are talking divorce.
Good times.

How on earth did you go from constant sex to divorce in a matter of weeks? Is there abuse? Infidelity?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What changed?

From what I can tell, nothing except that we both feel stuck in the house together, as we're taking covid seriously.

Taking Covid seriously does not mean you cannot leave the house. Take a walk, Ride your bike, go to the grocery store with a mask.

I think you're required to be unhappy for at least a year before you head to the attorney. Seriously, every couple has ups and downs and these phases could last months or longer. You should talk to a therapist before you just bail on a marriage because you had a rough few weeks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I was trolling but I'm not. Yes, we've had our ups and downs, but I genuinely imagined us growing old together.

Before the last argument, I was literally talking to him about our plans for what we should do/ where we should move after our house is paid off.

That still sounds like normal, but heightened, ups and downs in heightened circumstances (pandemic). I wouldn't rush to the divorce lawyers just yet.

--Signed, Divorced person

+1 Sounds like a big fight that OP didn't realize was brewing so it caught her off-guard. If it didn't involve violence or threats or something similarly game-changing I don't think one big fight in a period of sustained highs is divorce-worthy.

Anonymous wrote:I wish I was trolling but I'm not. Yes, we've had our ups and downs, but I genuinely imagined us growing old together.

Before the last argument, I was literally talking to him about our plans for what we should do/ where we should move after our house is paid off.

That still sounds like normal, but heightened, ups and downs in heightened circumstances (pandemic). I wouldn't rush to the divorce lawyers just yet.

--Signed, Divorced person

I wish I was trolling but I'm not. Yes, we've had our ups and downs, but I genuinely imagined us growing old together.

Before the last argument, I was literally talking to him about our plans for what we should do/ where we should move after our house is paid off.

This reads really trollish, and I've never called that on anyone before. It's just seems a tad over the top to go from bliss to divorce.

My DH frustrates me. We definitely do better when we're busy and engaged outside of the house. He's a natural pessimist and I'm a natural optimist, and there have been days when I think we are not compatible for the long term. But by long term I mean I seriously wonder if we'll grow old together - I can't imagine being retired with him.

But this is something I've thought in the past, too. So it's not like it came on all of a sudden. I have to believe something else is going on.

What the heck happened?? Something is really off if you went from bliss in month one to consulting with a divorce attorney two months later.

If one month of being unhappy leads you to consult a divorce attorney then whoa

Anonymous wrote:What changed?

From what I can tell, nothing except that we both feel stuck in the house together, as we're taking covid seriously.

What changed?

The first couple months were bliss. First month sex multiple times/week, which was a huge increase for us because DH travelled weekly.

Second month less sex, but still a lot of hugging, connecting, making nice dinners for each other, etc.

Third month things literally imploded and I have a scheduled consultation with a divorce attorney.