Anonymous
Post 05/12/2020 00:10     Subject: Turning 50 and feeling really down
Anonymous wrote:I feel like I’ve never been good at anything and I haven’t really accomplished anything. I can’t seem to shake this. I’ve been crying and down for a couple of weeks and I’m already on a anti depressant. I just don’t feel good or proud or confident about anything


I turned 50 last month and approaching it I was sad especially since all my plans to celebrate it were canceled but then that day I had so many calls and cards and Zoom and cocktails and weed that now I'm OK with it. I'm 50. This is not the life I planned and I hate my job and wish I never had to go there or see those people again, but even if I never make a big splash I have so far lived an interesting life and I have people who love me. I hope you can find a way to see the good in your life as well.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2020 23:14     Subject: Re:Turning 50 and feeling really down
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The months up to 50 sucked. Once it came and went, it was a big nothing. Just get passed the birthday, OP.


This has been my experience also. Going into a milestone birthday can bring with it a lot of expectations -- our own, society's.... whatever. By Milestone Birthday, I thought I'd be: at whatever point of success we've held out to ourselves. But the really odd thing, is that for me, once I got to the next year -- milestone + one, I was able to shed all of that. It helps to think about what you've accomplished in many levels : not just professionally, but personally. Maybe you're brave, or nurturing, or curious, or creative, or whatever, and don't often stop to recognize and applaud that. I know that I have days or even weeks when I feel as though I've accomplished nothing. But I may have shopped and cooked everyday, or created a welcoming home, or comforted a friend. I have had to remember that my identity and my accomplishments are not just about jobs or the things that other people notice and acknowledge but the things that I can appreciate as growth. I hope that that can be true for you as well.


NP, a few months from 50 and feeling like a lot of these posters. This one made me feel much better. Thank you.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2020 23:14     Subject: Turning 50 and feeling really down
Anonymous wrote:Are you married with kids?

Yes - happily married two teenage kids
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2020 23:07     Subject: Turning 50 and feeling really down
What advice would any of you give to a 40 something woman with one child in preparing for 50. My goals
-Pay off my home
- Retire
-Save for kids college
-Spend more time with my boyfriend.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2020 22:12     Subject: Re:Turning 50 and feeling really down
Anonymous wrote:The months up to 50 sucked. Once it came and went, it was a big nothing. Just get passed the birthday, OP.


This has been my experience also. Going into a milestone birthday can bring with it a lot of expectations -- our own, society's.... whatever. By Milestone Birthday, I thought I'd be: at whatever point of success we've held out to ourselves. But the really odd thing, is that for me, once I got to the next year -- milestone + one, I was able to shed all of that. It helps to think about what you've accomplished in many levels : not just professionally, but personally. Maybe you're brave, or nurturing, or curious, or creative, or whatever, and don't often stop to recognize and applaud that. I know that I have days or even weeks when I feel as though I've accomplished nothing. But I may have shopped and cooked everyday, or created a welcoming home, or comforted a friend. I have had to remember that my identity and my accomplishments are not just about jobs or the things that other people notice and acknowledge but the things that I can appreciate as growth. I hope that that can be true for you as well.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2020 20:25     Subject: Re:Turning 50 and feeling really down
The months up to 50 sucked. Once it came and went, it was a big nothing. Just get passed the birthday, OP.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2020 20:14     Subject: Turning 50 and feeling really down
50 has been really really hard physically and emotionally.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2020 20:10     Subject: Turning 50 and feeling really down
Anonymous wrote:I feel that way too, OP. I’m turning 50 in February.
I feel like there is nothing interesting about me. I’ve never really done anything interesting.
I know that objectively this isn’t true and also, 50 is a great time to take charge of my life and change that while I’m still healthy.
If you are already on medication, I would suggest calling your doctor and asking about getting it adjusted. If it wasn’t prescribed by a psychiatrist, then make an appointment with a good one who can really get to the bottom of helping you feel better. That’s what I am doing!


I too will be 50 in Feb. and relate to most of these sentiments. 50 is hitting me harder than 40. My oldest is about to fly the nest which is both exciting and sad. I'm actually really grateful for this time with him. I am furloughed from my job and I'm considering a career change and not going back to my old industry. I'm exercising a lot in spite of my new aches & pains and that's keeping the blues at bay (for now). All in - feeling very mid-life crisis-y
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2020 19:57     Subject: Re:Turning 50 and feeling really down
I get it, but you know you can change. I think that milestone birthdays can be a wake up call so that you can take stock of where you are - the good, the bad and the ugly. And you can decide how to move forward. One of the things I did in my 50s was to make me time and do and learn new skills. I took classes that I never would have made the time or money to take.

I hope you take PPs advice and make a telemedicine appointment. Talk to someone. Turning 50 is huge (I'm older, so I and most of my friends, have passed this one). But it can be so liberating if you can figure out how to embrace it.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2020 19:25     Subject: Turning 50 and feeling really down
Are you married with kids?
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2020 19:24     Subject: Turning 50 and feeling really down
I just turned 51 and completely identify with this. I'm having quite a down day today. Thank you for these honest posts, it helps me feel less alone.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2020 19:12     Subject: Turning 50 and feeling really down
I feel that way too, OP. I’m turning 50 in February.
I feel like there is nothing interesting about me. I’ve never really done anything interesting.
I know that objectively this isn’t true and also, 50 is a great time to take charge of my life and change that while I’m still healthy.
If you are already on medication, I would suggest calling your doctor and asking about getting it adjusted. If it wasn’t prescribed by a psychiatrist, then make an appointment with a good one who can really get to the bottom of helping you feel better. That’s what I am doing!
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2020 18:55     Subject: Turning 50 and feeling really down
I hear ya 50 was a real down turn for me- physically, socially, and professionally. Going on 56 now and never recovered. I take each day one at a time and try to put on a bright sunny face for family and “friends” who are reallly just acquaintances because at this age nobody is really going out of their way for anyone- everyone just wants a face to talk at. No one wants true interaction, let alone the slightest hint of discussion or *gasp* disagreement!
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2020 18:49     Subject: Turning 50 and feeling really down
I'm so sorry. Can you get a telehealth appointment? I'm sure you've accomplished more than you think.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2020 18:48     Subject: Turning 50 and feeling really down
I feel like I’ve never been good at anything and I haven’t really accomplished anything. I can’t seem to shake this. I’ve been crying and down for a couple of weeks and I’m already on a anti depressant. I just don’t feel good or proud or confident about anything