Anonymous wrote:My DH thinks I’m incompetent at many things, because I act like a lily of the field (toil not, neither do I spin). So he takes on 50% of the childcare and housework. I do the organizational things. When I actually clean something he’s shocked and appreciative. Y’all should try it sometime.

Because in reality, your DH believes he married an incompetent.
And in some ways, he actually did...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband told me I am the most competent person he knows. We share responsibilities 50/50 and have a respectful partnership. You should try it sometime.

You should try getting a sense of humor sometime!

+1000

I don’t act incapable but Dh and I have a strict division. I don’t do his tasks (cooking, fixing things, grocery shopping, kids baths) and he doesn’t do mine (laundry, cleaning, reading kids books, mowing). Because we have our set tasks, I don’t have to act like an idiot. I’m just not fixing things if they break and he better do it.

Haha. I don’t know how to hang pictures, change light bulbs, do taxes, or anything concerning the car.

DH is clueless when it comes to loading the dishwasher, doing laundry, and getting kids to school or bed on time.

Yep I don’t deal with clogged toilets or leaky faucets. I also “don’t know how” to start the mower or the grill.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH thinks I’m incompetent at many things, because I act like a lily of the field (toil not, neither do I spin). So he takes on 50% of the childcare and housework. I do the organizational things. When I actually clean something he’s shocked and appreciative. Y’all should try it sometime.

I think men don’t get annoyed at this approach because it’s what they do. It feels familiar. Plus, you’re not nagging or upset, so when it bugs him he does it.

Yep, I refuse to learn about home repair/plumbing or how to figure out when the trash comes. I act perplexed by the schedule. DH has acted like cooking a simple meal is brain surgery since we met. Whatever, we each have our things.

Yup, except when partner is ADHD or otherwise impaired snd truly cannot get their act together. No amount of strategic incompetence will make them step up. They will literally let the trash overflow and let bills go unpaid. I have living proof of that every day before my eyes...

Anonymous wrote:My DH thinks I’m incompetent at many things, because I act like a lily of the field (toil not, neither do I spin). So he takes on 50% of the childcare and housework. I do the organizational things. When I actually clean something he’s shocked and appreciative. Y’all should try it sometime.

I think men don’t get annoyed at this approach because it’s what they do. It feels familiar. Plus, you’re not nagging or upset, so when it bugs him he does it.

Equality and partnership without manipulation. You should try it sometime!

I can think of about 1000 better ways out of that situation other than acting the fool. But you do you, I guess.

I call this “strategic incompetence” and it’s incredibly effective. Employed CONSTANTLY by men in our culture. The only way to fight back is to be strategically incompetent at some stuff yourself. This is one reason I never learned to cook. Not interested, sounds super unappealing. I’m sure I could learn, but I choose not to. So no one ever expects me to do it.

Ended up marrying a guy who is a true equal partner - and does all the cooking

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband told me I am the most competent person he knows. We share responsibilities 50/50 and have a respectful partnership. You should try it sometime.

You should try getting a sense of humor sometime!

NP - I think you might be on your own on that one.

Anonymous wrote:My husband told me I am the most competent person he knows. We share responsibilities 50/50 and have a respectful partnership. You should try it sometime.

You should try getting a sense of humor sometime!

My husband told me I am the most competent person he knows. We share responsibilities 50/50 and have a respectful partnership. You should try it sometime.

My DH thinks I’m incompetent at many things, because I act like a lily of the field (toil not, neither do I spin). So he takes on 50% of the childcare and housework. I do the organizational things. When I actually clean something he’s shocked and appreciative. Y’all should try it sometime.