People's situations are complicated, with positive and negative aspects.

My parents paid for private high school and an expensive college for me. They gave DH and me $50K for our wedding, which became our down payment. They put $50K in a 529 for our daughter when she was very young, so it will likely be very helpful in paying for her college.

Unless something unexpected happens, I will inherit several million dollars from them.

I feel very lucky for all of that. However, my parents are also very difficult people to deal with in many ways. My relationship with them has gone through real ups and downs.

My husband has a chronic illness, which is very scary.

My point is just that people's lives are complicated and you never know the full story.

I'm proud to be self-made so I don't feel so much as a blip of jealousy over this.

But I'm pretty worried about how to raise kids, growing up so differently than I was raised. I really don't know how to protect them from the harms of young wealth and entitlement. Maybe need my own thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d rather be a silver spooner who makes my own way.

And I am.

Don’t underestimate the value of a familial safety net- it’s huge. I didn’t do anything to earn mine but the only people who say they would NOT want to have financial security in the way of family money are consoling themselves into accepting what they can’t have anyway. Then they act like that’s a superior choice- the choice to not use money they didn’t have.

It’s an interesting phenomenon.

OP here. I agree. You are very fortunate to have received financial assistance and were born with a safety net. I truly envy you.

I wish I had some assistance in helping me buy a house, college funds for children, travel, and the peace of mind of not worrying about my next paycheck.

Don't we all? Maybe it seems like that's the norm by reading DCUM or hanging with rich people, but it's not. I was fortunate enough that my parents paid for my college. I won't be getting any inheritance and neither will my spouse. I don't think it's really so common to inherit large sums of money. I just hope I can at least help my kids pay for college if not cover it all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d rather be a silver spooner who makes my own way.

And I am.

Don’t underestimate the value of a familial safety net- it’s huge. I didn’t do anything to earn mine but the only people who say they would NOT want to have financial security in the way of family money are consoling themselves into accepting what they can’t have anyway. Then they act like that’s a superior choice- the choice to not use money they didn’t have.

It’s an interesting phenomenon.

My parents offered to pay for college but I chose to join the Army and pay for it myself. There's a certain feeling of pride you get when you've paid your own way.

I paid my parents $600 a month in rent and paid for college. I went to school at night while working full time and a part time job. I graduated with a two year degree after five years, with debt. I felt no pride. Relief I didn't have to pay for school anymore, yes. But no pride.

I just inherited a small fortune from my parents and I am early 30s. It didn't make losing them any easier but it is really nice to have the money to pay off mortgages on our properties and do some fun things with.

DH and I will both continue to work hard and build wealth of our own. Because I plan to leave my children with the same gift.

Anonymous wrote:I’d rather be a silver spooner who makes my own way.

And I am.

Don’t underestimate the value of a familial safety net- it’s huge. I didn’t do anything to earn mine but the only people who say they would NOT want to have financial security in the way of family money are consoling themselves into accepting what they can’t have anyway. Then they act like that’s a superior choice- the choice to not use money they didn’t have.

It’s an interesting phenomenon.

OP here. I agree. You are very fortunate to have received financial assistance and were born with a safety net. I truly envy you.

I wish I had some assistance in helping me buy a house, college funds for children, travel, and the peace of mind of not worrying about my next paycheck.

Anonymous wrote:I’d rather be a silver spooner who makes my own way.

And I am.

Don’t underestimate the value of a familial safety net- it’s huge. I didn’t do anything to earn mine but the only people who say they would NOT want to have financial security in the way of family money are consoling themselves into accepting what they can’t have anyway. Then they act like that’s a superior choice- the choice to not use money they didn’t have.

It’s an interesting phenomenon.

My parents offered to pay for college but I chose to join the Army and pay for it myself. There's a certain feeling of pride you get when you've paid your own way.

Anonymous wrote:that's not your life. why jealous? live you own.

This. Take inventory of your own life and actions. Don't take someone else's inventory.

Anonymous wrote:Me too but I’d rather be self made then be a silver spooner

+100

Yeah of course I'd like a pile of easy money, we all would. But I am so proud of making my own way, and the sense of self-worth and direction that's given me is something that even a born-rich kiddo can't buy.

PS the 40-something guy in our neighborhood who inherited a lot of money is the laziest sad sack useless husband on the block.

Buy yourself a peloton. It’s like $100 a month. Do you really think people are happy their parents have died? Put it in perspective.

If you were receiving an inheritence you'd be doing similar things. You wouldn't NOT buy real estate because a friend couldn't afford to buy real estate.

I’d rather be a silver spooner who makes my own way.

And I am.

Don’t underestimate the value of a familial safety net- it’s huge. I didn’t do anything to earn mine but the only people who say they would NOT want to have financial security in the way of family money are consoling themselves into accepting what they can’t have anyway. Then they act like that’s a superior choice- the choice to not use money they didn’t have.

It’s an interesting phenomenon.

that's not your life. why jealous? live you own.

Me too but I’d rather be self made then be a silver spooner

The friends who I thought were on the same playing field as us are suddenly receiving inheritances and it shows. They're using that money to buy investment properties, Peletons or what have you. I hate to admit but I am green with envy. Both DH and I come from poor stock.