2 years. 2.5 is harder.

I don’t like larger age gaps. Dh and I both have siblings with large age gaps and none of us are close. Just too far apart to ever have anything in common.

My kids are almost 6 years apart and it is a dream. My eldest is truly, really helpful with my youngest. I was afraid they wouldn’t like to play together but actually they do, a lot. No squabbling over sharing toys or jealousy.

My friend and I are both the oldest of 3, with 2.5 year age gap between each. We both have said we think 5 years apart is best because we get along well with our youngest siblings but not middle. 2.5 years apart = still sibling rivalry. At 5 years apart there’s not much to fight about.

IME, siblings being close depends on personality not age, so I think the timing is really about how you feel as a parent. Some people want to get the baby years over with, others need a break.

For myself, I was ready to try again when DC1 was age 3, but for various reasons we put it off, then age 4 kicked our butts and we didn't try at all, then ready again toward the end of age 5 but we didn't pull the trigger ... anyway, I'm now pregnant and DC1's 7th birthday is this weekend. My sister and I are 5 years apart so I have a picture of how this will go, with DC2 kind of being an only child after DC1 is in HS/college.

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't matter. Anything can be awesome. Two under two is great because you get all the hard parts out of the way quickly. Who wants to have a four year old fresh out of pull-ups only to crank out a new baby and start wiping asses all over again? But yet, a 4 yr old can understand waiting while a mom is nursing or entertain the baby for two minutes while a parent finishes a shower, etc.

This. But mine are all 2.5 years apart.

I agree anything can be ideal depending on your circumstances.

We were around 30 when we had our first. We think we want three so we factor that into our timing. I had a hard delivery - one week in the hospital after emergency csection. I breastfed first a little over a year. Two and a half years later we are trying again but I’m still not physically where I was before baby one. I wanted to try to get as close physically to where I was before baby one because I figured after baby two it’s going to be way harder. I’ve definitely struggled with post part in anxiety and some depression at times. I needed to get me to a point where I thought I, and my marriage and family, would make it through another pregnancy and postpartum period.

Like I said, now we are trying again. Baby one took 5-6 months so we will see how this goes. If all goes well they will be just under three years apart. I’ll be close to geriatric if we do try for a third.

My kids are 20 months apart. The beginning was really difficult but now they are best friends, even in this quarantine they play together all waking hours and it’s the best.

I have a close friend with a five year age gap and she loves it too, her kids are in very distinct phases and she likes that.

So I think it really all depends.

It doesn't matter. Anything can be awesome. Two under two is great because you get all the hard parts out of the way quickly. Who wants to have a four year old fresh out of pull-ups only to crank out a new baby and start wiping asses all over again? But yet, a 4 yr old can understand waiting while a mom is nursing or entertain the baby for two minutes while a parent finishes a shower, etc.

Anonymous wrote:Not more than 2.5 years

for you. It isn't ideal for everyone so don't act like you have all the answers.

Whatever you get.

The research says 3 years but dcum is older so they will say 2!

Not more than 2.5 years

Two years or any age beyond that. Don't over think it.

NP (pregnant with #1) wondering the same thing but also curious about timing of the second and recovering from the first. If you’re still breastfeeding does being pregnant impact that?

What age gap do you recommend for siblings? For both their benefit and the parents. Leaving aside the fact that a lot of people including myself can’t count on planning pregnancy (took a year to conceive my first) trying to figure out what I want. Is under 2.5 years very difficult? Do things change dramatically between 2.5 and 3.5 in terms of the difficulty for parents? Curious to hear others experiences.