Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes it doesn’t seem like a good idea. She wants to tutor an elementary school student while you want her to take care of a newborn.

Huge mismatch in expectations from the getgo!

+1
Plus how long does she want to escape her current NYC distance learning? If it’s only for a few months, won’t work.

Sounds like an excellent way to ruin a perfectly good friendship.

Anonymous wrote:Yes it doesn’t seem like a good idea. She wants to tutor an elementary school student while you want her to take care of a newborn.

Huge mismatch in expectations from the getgo!

Nanny here. I become friends with most of my former employers while working for them. However, it evolved from professional (not equals) to friendly to friends (equals, after position ended). There’s no way I would start working for a friend, because the current relationship is of equals, not employer/employee. There’s a reason you never mix business and personal while expecting them to remain unchanged.

Anonymous wrote:
Business and close relationships don't mix well, especially in such a close and intimate setting. This person has no experience being a nanny/governess, correct? It's a different skill set from being a school teacher. I strongly advise against it.

Sorry, I saw she used to be a nanny. Still, the paid closeness will end up creating friction.

Business and close relationships don't mix well, especially in such a close and intimate setting. This person has no experience being a nanny/governess, correct? It's a different skill set from being a school teacher. I strongly advise against it.

Anonymous wrote:My friend is an accomplished private school teacher in NYC, and a former nanny. She is going crazy living alone and hates the all-day video teaching. She has hinted about coming down here to be with friends (we are carefully isolating, as is she) and tutoring an elementary student like ours. She doesn't know it but I'm pregnant and will need a nanny next year, even if school resumes.

Is this dumb to consider? What agreements should we put in place to ensure we are both protected and treated fairly? Living in is a possibility.

Wouldn't she go back to her school in the fall when they restart?

Yes it doesn’t seem like a good idea. She wants to tutor an elementary school student while you want her to take care of a newborn.

Not dumb at all. Make sure all expectations are clear and be willing to pay well.

After 1.5 years, our child’s nanny is one of my best friends. In my career, most of my friends I met at work. The whole “ don’t be friends with your nanny” is ridiculous.

Honestly, I think it could either be amazing or completely destroy your friendship. There's probably no way to know until you try it.

One problem I could immediately foresee is if you think she might expect to be able to take time off whenever she feels like it and expect you to take your own vacation to accommodate hers because you're friends and "should understand" why she'd want to do XYZ for this or that reason at a specific time. How intertwined would your personal and professional lives become, and how comfortable would you both feel about that? If you have to turn down a vacation request because of your own schedules, would she be ok with that?

If she thinks you have child-raising ideas she disagrees with, is she going to feel entitled to push back and possibly ignore your wishes?

And I'd be really clear about expected hours, pay, possibly build in whatever percentage you expect raises to be and when you would make them. Especially if she's going to live in you would both need to be really clear about on/off hours. And with a live-in you'd also be looking at roommate-style questions. What if she starts dating someone you don't like and wants to bring them into your home, even if she has her own separate apartment that could be tricky. What if she goes out late the night before she has to be on duty and you know it because you can tell what time she comes home? Would that trouble you?

Just some things to consider. I wouldn't dismiss it out of hand, and I consider our nanny to be a friend now although our relationship grew from a professional relationship so the other way round. But I do think there's a lot to consider, particularly if it's a friendship with a long history. And if you have mutual friends who might be affected if your friendship blew up over this, that's something else to consider - could have impacts beyond the immediate relationship.

Good luck whatever you decide, and congratulations on your pregnancy!

My friend is an accomplished private school teacher in NYC, and a former nanny. She is going crazy living alone and hates the all-day video teaching. She has hinted about coming down here to be with friends (we are carefully isolating, as is she) and tutoring an elementary student like ours. She doesn't know it but I'm pregnant and will need a nanny next year, even if school resumes.

Is this dumb to consider? What agreements should we put in place to ensure we are both protected and treated fairly? Living in is a possibility.