Many Au Pairs won't be able to fly to America so I'd skip that option until things get clearer ...

Anonymous wrote:Au pair is a huuuge risk. Not worth the $ savings.

+1

Au pair is my last choice for a childcare arrangement because I do not want to raise a teenager in addition to a child.

The people in the market for one are generally not in the market for the other. Au pair is WAY cheaper.

I thought au pairs were awesome until I learned more about them. Even if you get a good one, they aren't supposed to do a lot of real cleaning or housework unless it's kid related. I didn't expect an au pair to replace a weekly housecleaner, but I had been hoping she'd do any of the tasks I regularly do as a parent.

Instead we hired a live-out nanny and she is happy to do all sorts of tasks, from meal prep to laundry to running errands. Au pairs really can't do all that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An au pair is absolute MAX two years. We wanted long-term live out help and that's what we've done. I wouldn't want a different person in our house every year or two.

DH and I both grew up with live-in help and we agreed we wanted only family living in our house.

So, do your parents live with you to take care of the kids?

Nope.

Au pairs are supposed to be a cultural exchange. Go with a live-out nanny.

Definitely go with a live-in nanny if you have a great place in your house for her (like an in-law apartment). Otherwise go with a great live-out nanny who is older, responsible and lives alone.

Au pair is a huuuge risk. Not worth the $ savings.

With a live-in nanny, you avoid a lot of the initial start up that you encounter with an AP. You also can find someone with verifiable references, cpr/first aid and the ability to stay over 2 years. An experienced nanny doesn’t need you to make a list of what needs to happen everyday, and she also may be less inclined to follow instructions (depends on the nanny). A nanny can work any schedule you and she negotiate, but you pay for whatever you negotiate.

With an AP, there’s a cultural exchange. Your children can be introduced to or continue with a foreign language. APs are 18-26, so they may be younger and more fit than a nanny (not always). Because they have less experience, they’re also less set in their ways. APs can work a maximum of 10 hours per day (9 for some agencies) and 45 hour per week. You have to allow the AP to attend classes (just the 6 credits required by the program, although some APs elect to take more classes) and monthly meetings with the local AP coordinator and APs, even if it conflicts with the hours you need. Regardless of number of hours, you are obligated to pay at least the minimum stipend per week ($195).

It all depends on what you want and need.

Au pairs have worked great for us. Make sure you know and are ok with the rules - max hours per day and week, allowed tasks, etc. The flexibility is especially helpful if you have an irregular schedule. If you want to start immediately, there are lots of issues with visas and travel, so you’d need to look for an in-country au pair.

Anonymous wrote:An au pair is absolute MAX two years. We wanted long-term live out help and that's what we've done. I wouldn't want a different person in our house every year or two.

DH and I both grew up with live-in help and we agreed we wanted only family living in our house.

So, do your parents live with you to take care of the kids?

Horror stories exist for both.

Au pairs frequently need more hand on management because they are younger and this is their first job. Can be more enthusiastic though. Great for cultural/language aspects if that matters to you.

Friend who went the au pair route found out the hard way that many from other countries come here for the health insurance (hard to believe given the current climate, but if you have the space for and can afford and au pair, you probably also have excellent health insurance for them).

The young lady had mental health issues, could not be left alone with the 2 young boys (which is what she was hired to do) and among other things wrecked their car.

She was gone (returned to home country not re-homed to another US family) within a short time, au pair fees returned, new car bought by company, and then some (as they supposedly did the screening on this person).

An au pair is absolute MAX two years. We wanted long-term live out help and that's what we've done. I wouldn't want a different person in our house every year or two.

DH and I both grew up with live-in help and we agreed we wanted only family living in our house.

What are the pros and cons of having either kind of live-in arrangement? We have had causal help in normal times but are alone during this unprecedented period. Please tell us what it is like to have this kind of support? Is the grass greener on the other side?