Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. I was mentally divorced 9 years ago...at the very beginning. I think that is why.

Any sympathy I had for you just disappeared. If you were checked out from the very beginning, the marriage never had a chance and you just stole 9 years from your spouse. That's a crappy thing to do to someone.

Yeah, well, he forced an unplanned pregnancy. I was planning to leave. He is the one who made it last. I had to wait almost 8 years to get back to the right state where my job was to leave. He was threatening divorce from months into the marriage. I wanted to leave then. My mom said wait and then literally when I said I did not want to have sex because I did not want a kid, he forced the issue. I was ill. Who stole whose life here? Screw you.

Oh please. You had total control over whether or not you used contraception and over whether or not you carried the child to term. Stop making weak excuses for your own bad decisions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. I was mentally divorced 9 years ago...at the very beginning. I think that is why.

Any sympathy I had for you just disappeared. If you were checked out from the very beginning, the marriage never had a chance and you just stole 9 years from your spouse. That's a crappy thing to do to someone.

Yeah, well, he forced an unplanned pregnancy. I was planning to leave. He is the one who made it last. I had to wait almost 8 years to get back to the right state where my job was to leave. He was threatening divorce from months into the marriage. I wanted to leave then. My mom said wait and then literally when I said I did not want to have sex because I did not want a kid, he forced the issue. I was ill. Who stole whose life here? Screw you.

Take control of your life and your narrative.

Anonymous wrote:The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference.

This. I literally felt nothing.

I felt relieved. And proud of myself for managing the house and teen DS by myself. And ready to start a new life.

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel relieved?

I felt relieved when we started the separation. That was almost two years ago. Now it is just nothing.

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. I was mentally divorced 9 years ago...at the very beginning. I think that is why.

Any sympathy I had for you just disappeared. If you were checked out from the very beginning, the marriage never had a chance and you just stole 9 years from your spouse. That's a crappy thing to do to someone.

Yeah, well, he forced an unplanned pregnancy. I was planning to leave. He is the one who made it last. I had to wait almost 8 years to get back to the right state where my job was to leave. He was threatening divorce from months into the marriage. I wanted to leave then. My mom said wait and then literally when I said I did not want to have sex because I did not want a kid, he forced the issue. I was ill. Who stole whose life here? Screw you.

OP here. I was mentally divorced 9 years ago...at the very beginning. I think that is why.

Any sympathy I had for you just disappeared. If you were checked out from the very beginning, the marriage never had a chance and you just stole 9 years from your spouse. That's a crappy thing to do to someone.

The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference.

Do you feel relieved?

And I have never felt sad or angry about the process either. I dreaded getting married in the first place...everyone said it was "cold feet."--it wasn't. It was not the right relationship and it was never happy. Always felt like a trap. So those stages of grief really do not apply in something that always felt a mistake...those stages apply to normal marriages healthy to begin with that end in divorce. It just never should have happened in the first place.

OP here. I was mentally divorced 9 years ago...at the very beginning. I think that is why.

Its normal but not healthy. It could be because you've been mentally divorced for a long time already, or it could be because you are depressed. Probably the latter. Its a depressing situation, and the mind is capable of all kinds of things when it comes to self preservation.

You should go through the whole grieving process at some point. Anger, sadness, acceptance, etc. If you don't, you arent processing it.

Same here. Felt absolutely nothing.

I felt nothing with respect to myself or STBX.

It hurt a lot to tell the kids. That will never go away.

I am wondering how many people have felt this way. I literally feel nothing. I am not surprised but I do wonder if others have felt this way.