Anonymous wrote:My question is whether I should speed up or wait with divorce. that's the key thing.

Wait. #1 priority is finding a new job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about hit pause....no Judge is going to think your case is a priority right now. Your Ex pays child support so what is the rush? I’d concentrate on getting a new job. What is the precise dispute regarding separation date and how does that impact $$. What is an RSU?

my ex owns some company stock (restricted stock units). the dispute is whether he received them before or after separation date.

He is going to fight it. Was he living in the Apt at the time? Were you sleeping with him? So long as he is paying support no need to go to Court. If he stops, get an order for temporary support. In the meantime, file for unemployment and work on getting another job and save the fight for six months from now.

No and no. He moved out, changed jobs and received stock, then I filed.
My issue is, while I am unemployed, I can't apply for any camp scholarships for example, since my income on paper looks so good. I know there are no camps now but if/when life is back up, I want to be prepared.

If he moved out and then got the stock why do you think you’re entitled? When you filed doesn’t matter. He moved out because you all were separating.

My question is whether I should speed up or wait with divorce. that's the key thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about hit pause....no Judge is going to think your case is a priority right now. Your Ex pays child support so what is the rush? I’d concentrate on getting a new job. What is the precise dispute regarding separation date and how does that impact $$. What is an RSU?

my ex owns some company stock (restricted stock units). the dispute is whether he received them before or after separation date.

He is going to fight it. Was he living in the Apt at the time? Were you sleeping with him? So long as he is paying support no need to go to Court. If he stops, get an order for temporary support. In the meantime, file for unemployment and work on getting another job and save the fight for six months from now.

No and no. He moved out, changed jobs and received stock, then I filed.
My issue is, while I am unemployed, I can't apply for any camp scholarships for example, since my income on paper looks so good. I know there are no camps now but if/when life is back up, I want to be prepared.

Anonymous wrote:You're filing jointly this year for LAST YEAR. Last year for nine of 12 months, you were together. That makes sense.

my understanding is that unless divorce is finalized this year, I can't file as HoH. We were not living together (he moved out, then we filed many months after).

Anonymous wrote:What are his reasons for not wanting any custody? Has he refused custody when you offered it?

He moved an hour away. He wants 50% on paper but there is no way he can do it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about hit pause....no Judge is going to think your case is a priority right now. Your Ex pays child support so what is the rush? I’d concentrate on getting a new job. What is the precise dispute regarding separation date and how does that impact $$. What is an RSU?

my ex owns some company stock (restricted stock units). the dispute is whether he received them before or after separation date.

You should get before, not after.

I know; he claims he got them (from the company) after, I claim - before.

What are his reasons for not wanting any custody? Has he refused custody when you offered it?

You're filing jointly this year for LAST YEAR. Last year for nine of 12 months, you were together. That makes sense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about hit pause....no Judge is going to think your case is a priority right now. Your Ex pays child support so what is the rush? I’d concentrate on getting a new job. What is the precise dispute regarding separation date and how does that impact $$. What is an RSU?

my ex owns some company stock (restricted stock units). the dispute is whether he received them before or after separation date.

He is going to fight it. Was he living in the Apt at the time? Were you sleeping with him? So long as he is paying support no need to go to Court. If he stops, get an order for temporary support. In the meantime, file for unemployment and work on getting another job and save the fight for six months from now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about hit pause....no Judge is going to think your case is a priority right now. Your Ex pays child support so what is the rush? I’d concentrate on getting a new job. What is the precise dispute regarding separation date and how does that impact $$. What is an RSU?

my ex owns some company stock (restricted stock units). the dispute is whether he received them before or after separation date.

You should get before, not after.

What does he want? Sounds like you get the kid, housing and all the money per your terms. Of course he will not give in to all your demand of you get everything. Give 50-50 custody, child support by formula and 1/2 of any money earned during the time of marriage.

Anonymous wrote:How about hit pause....no Judge is going to think your case is a priority right now. Your Ex pays child support so what is the rush? I’d concentrate on getting a new job. What is the precise dispute regarding separation date and how does that impact $$. What is an RSU?

my ex owns some company stock (restricted stock units). the dispute is whether he received them before or after separation date.

How about hit pause....no Judge is going to think your case is a priority right now. Your Ex pays child support so what is the rush? I’d concentrate on getting a new job. What is the precise dispute regarding separation date and how does that impact $$. What is an RSU?

I filed in October, and still don't have the separation agreement worked out. We are fairly amicable, but stbx is quite unstable and hard to negotiate with. He pays child support but no official orders in place.
I have just been laid off. I feel like I am back to square one now.
Officially we are still married, filed as married filing jointly this year, and the joint income is pretty high - we don't qualify for those covid payments, for example.
He is still on the lease of the apartment he moved out of (and where my son and I live).
I have an attorney but not sure if I can afford him anymore - wanted him to draft our agreement and all.
STBX has RSUs where I might be entitled to a share, but this requires some extensive paperwork, and he won't budge easily - there is disagreement over the separation date etc.
Long story short, what should I do?
1) finalize divorce asap, even if it means losing some, to actually become a HoH with lower-ish income officially? My salary was 60K, I have the kid full time, but still our joint income on paper is over 220.
2) switch to legal separation instead of divorce (to try and keep insurance thru spouse) and finalize asap?
3) try to get my fair share, even if it means my official income is high? Of course I only see a tiny sliver of that money, so it just feels unfair.

Thank you!