Anonymous
03/26/2020 22:13
Subject: Boyfriend with strange views
Is this a joke?
Get out. You're only 32. Plenty of other options for you.
Get out. You're only 32. Plenty of other options for you.
Anonymous
03/26/2020 22:13
Subject: Boyfriend with strange views
Hmm. When I went to grad school in a STEM field, there were lots of weirdos...
Your boyfriend is too old for that shite, though.
Leave him and find someone better adjusted to have kids with.
Anonymous
03/26/2020 22:07
Subject: Re:Boyfriend with strange views
To answer your question, OP, I have never known a person like this either, and I have dated pretty extensively. He sounds extremely damaged. These views are all very toxic and unhealthy.
Anonymous
03/26/2020 22:06
Subject: Re:Boyfriend with strange views
Anonymous wrote:“Incorrect?” He’s downright crazy.
OP: Ha! Yeah, I was trying to find a gentle, non-judgemental way to say it.
Anonymous
03/26/2020 22:06
Subject: Boyfriend with strange views
I think what you are asking is “Am I compatible with this person?”
And the answer is, “No.”
Who cares if it’s typical or not; it’s not for you. Understand this now before you move in with or god forbid procreate with this person.
And the answer is, “No.”
Who cares if it’s typical or not; it’s not for you. Understand this now before you move in with or god forbid procreate with this person.
Anonymous
03/26/2020 22:05
Subject: Re:Boyfriend with strange views
“Incorrect?” He’s downright crazy.
Anonymous
03/26/2020 22:05
Subject: Boyfriend with strange views
Get out.
Anonymous
03/26/2020 22:04
Subject: Boyfriend with strange views
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Get away from him ASAP. What are you doing?
He didn't spring all of this on me at once. It trickled out over the years, after I was already committed and had formed a bond. Now that I'm sitting here examining all of this, I feel like I have whiplash.
Well better to have wasted 2 years than 20.
Anonymous
03/26/2020 22:04
Subject: Boyfriend with strange views
Anonymous wrote:Does his name start with a T?
Stay away. Stay far away.
OP: Nope. Doesn't start with a T.
Anonymous
03/26/2020 22:04
Subject: Re:Boyfriend with strange views
Socially distance NOW.
Anonymous
03/26/2020 22:03
Subject: Boyfriend with strange views
Anonymous wrote:Get away from him ASAP. What are you doing?
He didn't spring all of this on me at once. It trickled out over the years, after I was already committed and had formed a bond. Now that I'm sitting here examining all of this, I feel like I have whiplash.
Anonymous
03/26/2020 22:03
Subject: Boyfriend with strange views
Does his name start with a T?
Stay away. Stay far away.
Stay away. Stay far away.
Anonymous
03/26/2020 22:02
Subject: Boyfriend with strange views
Why are you with him?
Anonymous
03/26/2020 22:02
Subject: Boyfriend with strange views
Get away from him ASAP. What are you doing?
Anonymous
03/26/2020 22:00
Subject: Boyfriend with strange views
I have never known anyone like this, and I'm wondering if you guys could tell me if I just had a small circle and these people are prevalent, or if he truly is unusual.
My boyfriend. We have been dating for over 2 years. He's 37, and I'm 32. He feels as though his beliefs are entirely normal and healthy. Some of them include:
- After an argument or discussion, you need to punish your partner with distance and a lack of intimacy to discourage arguments in the future. Otherwise, there are no incentives for "better behavior".
- "Healthy couples" don't talk about their needs or things that bother them because they don't have any. Ever. If you have an emotional need or something on your mind, it's a sign the relationship is in trouble.
- Saying "I love you" too often diminishes the meaning of it. It should be said sparingly and not just thrown around, like when you're getting off a phone call.
- Sex is an indulgence, and it'll lose it's enjoyment if you splurge by doing it too often, like eating chocolate cake.
- If there's a problem in the relationship and it really bothers one or both of you, it's inconsiderate to even address it with your partner and burden them with it. If their normal activities annoy you, you're just not meant to be together. Even if they have no idea it's annoying to you.
- If a partner asks to discuss moving in together, it's a complaint and should be treated as a fight. If a partner asks to have more sex because it's really enjoyable, it's a complaint and should be treated as a fight. If a partner asks if you've been feeling sad lately, it's a complaint and should be treated as a fight.
- Anxiety, even if it's extreme and detrimental to the relationship, is just a normal part of who you are and doesn't need to be changed or treated.
- The best marriages are formed by two people who have the same hobbies and like to do the same fun things together. There doesn't need to be physical or emotional connection. As long as you have a fun time together doing activities, that's the important part of a successful marriage. It's 100% about having someone to do fun things with.
I'm at my wits' end. He laughs at me-- literally guffaws in front of me-- when I tell him these views are quite unhealthy and standard relationship views. I don't even know what I'm asking. I guess I am just so tired of him telling me all of THIS ^^^ is the way it is, I just need someone to tell me he's incorrect.
My boyfriend. We have been dating for over 2 years. He's 37, and I'm 32. He feels as though his beliefs are entirely normal and healthy. Some of them include:
- After an argument or discussion, you need to punish your partner with distance and a lack of intimacy to discourage arguments in the future. Otherwise, there are no incentives for "better behavior".
- "Healthy couples" don't talk about their needs or things that bother them because they don't have any. Ever. If you have an emotional need or something on your mind, it's a sign the relationship is in trouble.
- Saying "I love you" too often diminishes the meaning of it. It should be said sparingly and not just thrown around, like when you're getting off a phone call.
- Sex is an indulgence, and it'll lose it's enjoyment if you splurge by doing it too often, like eating chocolate cake.
- If there's a problem in the relationship and it really bothers one or both of you, it's inconsiderate to even address it with your partner and burden them with it. If their normal activities annoy you, you're just not meant to be together. Even if they have no idea it's annoying to you.
- If a partner asks to discuss moving in together, it's a complaint and should be treated as a fight. If a partner asks to have more sex because it's really enjoyable, it's a complaint and should be treated as a fight. If a partner asks if you've been feeling sad lately, it's a complaint and should be treated as a fight.
- Anxiety, even if it's extreme and detrimental to the relationship, is just a normal part of who you are and doesn't need to be changed or treated.
- The best marriages are formed by two people who have the same hobbies and like to do the same fun things together. There doesn't need to be physical or emotional connection. As long as you have a fun time together doing activities, that's the important part of a successful marriage. It's 100% about having someone to do fun things with.
I'm at my wits' end. He laughs at me-- literally guffaws in front of me-- when I tell him these views are quite unhealthy and standard relationship views. I don't even know what I'm asking. I guess I am just so tired of him telling me all of THIS ^^^ is the way it is, I just need someone to tell me he's incorrect.