Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Start volunteering less and you won't be asked as much. It's because you're showing your face so much that people are asking you. I speak from experience. In the meantime, say you stretched thin and can't do it.

This.

The above post has a terrible idea--volunteer less. OP does not say she and DH want to volunteer less; she wants to know how to decline volunteering more. She actually values voluntarism, which PP above...does not. Of course people will ask you less if you do less overall. But that would be, frankly, a jerk move, if it means things that need to be done don't get done by anyone.

OP, don't cut back on what YOU feel is important to do, just so you won't be asked to do more.

Smile and say, "The work with the gardening committee (or whatever) is so important and I'm glad you're organizing it, but I'm volunteering with both the X and the Y right now, and focusing on those." Then change the topic.

See the pattern? Acknowledge that what they're asking/the cause is indeed important; then note that you are already committed doing something else; then change the topic. If you can, and it's genuine, suggest someone else who might want to volunteer. I do not mean throw someone else under the bus -- recommend another potential volunteer only if you really think that person might be interested AND isn't already super involved.

I am constantly bombarded about doing this or that for an organization I'm in, where I already have one role. I simply smile and say, "I know X is going to work out. I'm doing the organization newsletter and focusing on that, and volunteering at school as well all year long. Did you think about asking So and So about helping with X? He was working on Other Thing, but that's concluding next month."

Oh, and OP: Thanks to you and your husband for the volunteering you already do. Keep it up. The world, our communities and schools, our neighborhoods all need volunteers like you two. Don't listen to cynics who say just stop doing it so you won't be asked to do more. Keep doing it and know you limits, and when you can and can't exceed those limits.

“I appreciate you asking but no.”

Don’t tell them you want to or you’ll think about it or you’re sorry you can’t. Just “no.”

Anonymous wrote:
Start volunteering less and you won't be asked as much. It's because you're showing your face so much that people are asking you. I speak from experience. In the meantime, say you stretched thin and can't do it.

This.

Anonymous wrote:Saying no won’t imply that you don’t care or aren’t giving back in other ways. That’s all in your head.

+1 They will just move to the next name on the list. You’re making too much of this.

“I’ll think about that.”
“Sorry; that doesn’t work for my family.”
“I’m already busy with X.”

No, my plate is full right now.

Saying no won’t imply that you don’t care or aren’t giving back in other ways. That’s all in your head.

I.wish i.could but i.already have too much on my plate.

You have a mouth and can simply say no and no explanation is needed. Stop letting others manipulate you.

I usually do help but I can’t always. Sometimes I say I’m already doing XYZ already and can’t. I have said: I can’t help, but I can pull my kid out if that helps (I wasn’t taken up on the offer).

When I am organizing, it’s no free rides haha. If you want your kid, you have to do stuff too. I don’t have time for it either.

Remember they will still like you and think your great even if you say no

I say no like they’ve offered me something wonderful. Because I owe no one an apology and it gives them less room to argue.
“Thanks so much for asking! Unfortunately I have to say no!”

I think your problem is that you feel guilty saying no and when you do it you want people to make you feel better by acknowledging everything you do. You’ll have to get over that.

“I’m sorry, that isn’t possible for our family right now.”

You don’t need to give a reason. You know you are doing good things already, judgey mcjudgerson can think what they like or you turning down their proposition.

Start volunteering less and you won't be asked as much. It's because you're showing your face so much that people are asking you. I speak from experience. In the meantime, say you stretched thin and can't do it.

DH and I both volunteer a lot in our community. With full time jobs, we believe in making time to help out. We are constantly asked to volunteer more. It’s hard, because we (mainly our kids) also benefit from the other programs for which we don’t volunteer. But we can’t volunteer for it all. How do you say no without sounding like you don’t care or give back on other ways. It’s happening a lot lately so that’s why I’m asking for advice. Thank you.