I am a stepmom and I have a great relationship with my husband's ex and the kids. They consider me a bonus mom, yes, even the ex! We talk weekly about the kids, making sure we communicate so no balls are dropped that the kids end up having to juggle because the adults are petty. We all even go out to dinner once a month. She has a very demanding job and so does my husband, so I am the go to for the kids school events, drop offs, etc. We consider ourselves one blended family and the adults all agree that we all put the kids first...period.

I would meet her. That way you know who your kids are talking about when they talk about her. Also since she is in your kids lives, I think it is important to establish contact. She may attend things that you also attend and better to meet her first somewhere neutral. I mean meet her as in say hell0 - not take her out for tea.

Anonymous wrote:We left on poor terms. I don't really get it as they've met a while ago and he clearly does not care what I think. It feels like a total insult to me.

I'm dating a divorced guy with kids. I only met his ex once and it was kind of accidental, not on purpose. But there is a lot of advice online that it is good for the ex and the new girlfriend to meet and demonstrate in front of the kids that everyone can get along, that the ex is ok with the girlfriend etc. Maybe he wants to start bringing the girlfriend to parties or events where you might be and thinks it is better that you meet first. I'd just go and be friendly. I get how you feel, though. I'm not sure I feel the need for a formal meeting of the ex - it seems a little awkward. Some people disagree, tho.

No reason for you to meet the new girlfriend unless you want to know her due to her being around your kids. My ex has been remarried for over two years and I’ve only seen the new wife a handful of times and actually met her (for a few seconds) once. There’s no need for me to know her just like there’s no reason for you to become besties with his new girlfriend.

We left on poor terms. I don't really get it as they've met a while ago and he clearly does not care what I think. It feels like a total insult to me.

Plot twist: the "new girlfriend" is the OP's sister.

My ex and I did this. When we got serious with other people. It was a way to make the kids feel comfortable and meet the person who was going to have a significant role in their lives.

But, my ex and I have a cordial relationship. You know your ex best. If there's bad blood between you or he's doing it for drama I would skip.

Anonymous wrote:You did get a divorce as a matter of course, and since you parted the closest of friends...... sounds like not a problem.
Is she also a greaser?

Thanks a lot, PP, now I've got that song stuck in my head!

You did get a divorce as a matter of course, and since you parted the closest of friends...... sounds like not a problem.
Is she also a greaser?

She's just a girlfriend, of no importance to you or your kids at this point. Tell him that.

not sure why he thinks you would want this - unless the two of you are still close despite being divorced.

doesn't matter what you think, unless there is a clause in your agreement that forbids him from bringing his new partner to meet the kids, it's none of your business.

How long have you been divorced and how long have they been dating? How old are the kids? All important factors...

If she's someone he's serious about it might be difficult to avoid meeting her.

Weird. I would pass.

My ex husband has a new girlfriend and wants me to meet her. He's already been bringing her around the kids for months. Thoughts? I don't know what to think. Thanks!