I'm looking for his post where he complains that his wife tried to encourage party guests to beat him to death like he is a pinata, by making him 'hold the rope'.

Anonymous wrote:Once one person starts saying “I do all the work and she/he does nothing” that marriage is over. Most selfish statement one can make in a marriage.

NP but sure, the person sitting on their ass being unhelpful is selfless and just, let me guess, tired and/or misunderstood.

I have never been to a party where someone held the piñata unless it was tied to a pole like a broom. Usually it’s stung over a tree.

Anonymous wrote:Enough with these posts. You knew who you married. Next time hire some people to help for the day.

You beat me to it! My goodness. These people knew who they were marrying! They ignored the nice guys who would be doing the helping because of complicated emotional reasons. I get it. It’s ok. But hold the complaints!

Anonymous wrote:Once one person starts saying “I do all the work and she/he does nothing” that marriage is over. Most selfish statement one can make in a marriage.

It’s selfish to notice the situation you’re in? Can’t agree.

The first years of my marriage were plagued by DH minimizing everything I did and being dismissive of anything our house or kids needed (making stupid proclamations like “why does she even need a lunch?” which maybe was supposed to be a joke but just added to the overall dismissive and minimizing tone).

After many many arguments I guess something clicked, and he did change his behavior.

Anonymous wrote:Holding a piñata? While people hit it?

How many kids do you have?

In my husband's village, the pinata is hung on a rope and suspended over the street by kids or adults who are sitting on the roofs of two nearby houses.

Once one person starts saying “I do all the work and she/he does nothing” that marriage is over. Most selfish statement one can make in a marriage.

You asked him multiple times to put the kids to bed? I would have asked one time and then gone to bed myself. Closed the door and put on headphones. He would figure it out himself. Instead, you work yourself up by asking him multiple times.

Was he always like this or is it new? I just don't get how this starts. From the movement dh and I were seriously dating and then moved in and early marriage we each did about equal amount fo house stuff. Our own laundry, washing bqthrooms, toilets, vacuuming. We made a game of chasing each other with the vaccum. Would do laundry on Friday night and have sex while one set was in the dryer and then make the bed and lie naked on clean and warm sheets (lived in an apartment). And now woth two kids it's "do you want to put the baby to bed and clean up dinner or do bath and bed for the older one?" And we trade off. Etc etc.
anything else just doesn't compute. We both come from families that divide life about even and across strengths. My mother and his mother never take out the trash or put gas in cars. But they do all of the cooking etc.

Enough with these posts. You knew who you married. Next time hire some people to help for the day.

How old are DCs? Are you always this much of a micromanager/controlling?

Holding a piñata? While people hit it?

How many kids do you have?

What was his family of origin like? Were his parents like this?

Had a nice party at our house for our daughter’s birthday. Asked DH to take the kids out for lunch so I could get the house ready. He went out and picked up lunch for himself, only bringing our youngest after I made him. Proceeded to eat in the middle of everything as I was getting ready. Party is a success, kids and parents eating, drinking and having a good time. I ask DH to get the piñata and hold it - he proceeds to try to hang it from a tree and I tell him not to. He gives up and I end up asking 2 other parents to hold it instead. I keep the food going. I clean up the party. DH just talks and invites a friend over. I ask him to put the kids to bed afterward because I’m exhausted. It takes me asking multiple times and getting really angry before he does it.

What am I doing wrong? Can our marriage be saved?