Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally I think you are a little too old. We have three and the my husband got a vasectomy because we definitely did not want 4. Also, we have 3+ years between #2 and #3. You still have a newborn and you are 40. I would stop there

OP is not old. Plenty of moms are having another child at her age. I’ve known some moms who had their first child at 39. Also, she has an infant, not a newborn.

She will be 58+ by the time the third goes to college and that is older than my mom was when she became a grandma. That is what I think about. I had my third at 34 and honestly I felt like I was pushing it. But of course we all have different plans. If she were considering the first or the second, I would not suggest to stop because being a mom and giving your child a sibling outweigh in my opinion the negatives of being an older parent. For a third, however, it just seems unfair to the third baby

Was your mom a teen mom? Being a grandma and not even being 58 is crazy to me. Women today are having kids later. Being 58 when your kid goes to college is not old. 34 is not old to have a baby either. I think you all should back off and stop telling OP she is old.

My mom was 28 when she had me... hardly a teen mom and I was 29 when my first was born. I had a master and was doing my PhD and my mom had a degree and was working when she had me. Having a child at 40+ is what is NOT ideal.... not having it at 28-29.

That’s your opinion. Many others feel they were not ready at 28/29 and chose to wait to have children.

I think it takes time for the reality of the second kid to fully set in. When mine were that age I wanted a third. Now they are elementary and preschool age and I don’t feel that longing any more, in fact the opposite. The second is still young and I can already see that things are getting a little more complicated in terms of driving to activities and both having social lives. I could see a third baby fitting in, no problem, but then I wouldn’t want my third child to basically get the shaft in terms of doing what they wanted to because they always had to tag along to activities of the older two.

It depends on the lifestyle you envision to some extent. We are excited to get out of the infant age and have more adventures. Also, you are still in early stages with both of your kids. My friends saw things like anxiety and ADHD emerge in the elementary years, and other kinds of challenges in the toddler/preschool years. I personally know two marriages that cracked over the third kid. There is only so much to go around and you never know when you will be stretched too thin until it’s too late.

Not To be harsh but check out the 15000 other threads on this. There’s one every week if not more. The answers don’t change.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally I think you are a little too old. We have three and the my husband got a vasectomy because we definitely did not want 4. Also, we have 3+ years between #2 and #3. You still have a newborn and you are 40. I would stop there

OP is not old. Plenty of moms are having another child at her age. I’ve known some moms who had their first child at 39. Also, she has an infant, not a newborn.

She will be 58+ by the time the third goes to college and that is older than my mom was when she became a grandma. That is what I think about. I had my third at 34 and honestly I felt like I was pushing it. But of course we all have different plans. If she were considering the first or the second, I would not suggest to stop because being a mom and giving your child a sibling outweigh in my opinion the negatives of being an older parent. For a third, however, it just seems unfair to the third baby

Was your mom a teen mom? Being a grandma and not even being 58 is crazy to me. Women today are having kids later. Being 58 when your kid goes to college is not old. 34 is not old to have a baby either. I think you all should back off and stop telling OP she is old.

My mom was 28 when she had me... hardly a teen mom and I was 29 when my first was born. I had a master and was doing my PhD and my mom had a degree and was working when she had me. Having a child at 40+ is what is NOT ideal.... not having it at 28-29.

OP, you are not old. If you're feeling like you're managing well with the two you have and aren't financially stretched, I'd go for it!

I had my kids at 36 and 38, they are 3 and 16 months and very high energy/not good sleepers (though we did not sleep train), and I am freaking EXHAUSTED. No third is happening over here. But you sound like you're coping just fine!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally I think you are a little too old. We have three and the my husband got a vasectomy because we definitely did not want 4. Also, we have 3+ years between #2 and #3. You still have a newborn and you are 40. I would stop there

OP is not old. Plenty of moms are having another child at her age. I’ve known some moms who had their first child at 39. Also, she has an infant, not a newborn.

She will be 58+ by the time the third goes to college and that is older than my mom was when she became a grandma. That is what I think about. I had my third at 34 and honestly I felt like I was pushing it. But of course we all have different plans. If she were considering the first or the second, I would not suggest to stop because being a mom and giving your child a sibling outweigh in my opinion the negatives of being an older parent. For a third, however, it just seems unfair to the third baby

Was your mom a teen mom? Being a grandma and not even being 58 is crazy to me. Women today are having kids later. Being 58 when your kid goes to college is not old. 34 is not old to have a baby either. I think you all should back off and stop telling OP she is old.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally I think you are a little too old. We have three and the my husband got a vasectomy because we definitely did not want 4. Also, we have 3+ years between #2 and #3. You still have a newborn and you are 40. I would stop there

OP is not old. Plenty of moms are having another child at her age. I’ve known some moms who had their first child at 39. Also, she has an infant, not a newborn.

She will be 58+ by the time the third goes to college and that is older than my mom was when she became a grandma. That is what I think about. I had my third at 34 and honestly I felt like I was pushing it. But of course we all have different plans. If she were considering the first or the second, I would not suggest to stop because being a mom and giving your child a sibling outweigh in my opinion the negatives of being an older parent. For a third, however, it just seems unfair to the third baby

Too old, forcing the 3rd too fast and yes you would be very likely to have a 3rd like my first. A child that never sleeps or one child is diagnosed with special needs and nothing is easy. Good recipe for pushing yourself to the limit.

I was like you. We had two kids but at 38 and my second right before I was 40. We were on the fence but decide against having a third. My husband wasn’t planning on having a vasectomy but we were using protection. We ended up getting pregnant 3 months later while using protection. We are expecting our third in a couple of months right before I turn 41. This wasn’t the plan but we are excited! We have two boys and are expecting a little girl! I would wait a little longer and make sure before getting a vasectomy.

Anonymous wrote:Personally I think you are a little too old. We have three and the my husband got a vasectomy because we definitely did not want 4. Also, we have 3+ years between #2 and #3. You still have a newborn and you are 40. I would stop there

OP is not old. Plenty of moms are having another child at her age. I’ve known some moms who had their first child at 39. Also, she has an infant, not a newborn.

We’re on the fence about having a third as well. My DH is happy with two, but I’d like a third. If you both want a third then forcing a move a little sooner than later isn’t the worst thing. Good luck with your decision! Please don’t let some internet stranger tell you your too old. If you’re fine with having a baby at 40 (I would be FWIW), and your dr gives you the green light, then go for it.

Personally I think you are a little too old. We have three and the my husband got a vasectomy because we definitely did not want 4. Also, we have 3+ years between #2 and #3. You still have a newborn and you are 40. I would stop there

Wait a little bit if you’re not sure.

I would wait a little bit and see how you feel in a few months. There's no reason to make a permanent change if you aren't certain.

My husband and I have two kids - a 2.5 year old and a 9 month old. Our plan was to have two kids and then my husband would get a vasectomy, but now we are unsure if we should make a permanent change. We have always wanted to kids, but now we ( mostly my husband) are considering having a third. I think we are mostly still only having two kids, but I think the option to have another would be nice. I'm 39 ( turning 40 in May) ) and had kids at 37 and 39. We both work full-time and pay almost $40k a year in childcare costs. We can afford a third child, but not having a third will mean more flexible income for us. We live in a 3bed 2 bath condo in the city, and our plan is to move to the suburbs once our oldest is ready for school. Having a third will likely make us move sooner for more room. We have two fairly easy kids that are good sleepers ( with help of sleep training), but that doesn't mean the third will easy. I don't know if we should wait on the vasectomy or rule out a third child and do it.