DH and I were heavy when we met, lost a lot of weight together, and now have gained it back together. I'm still attracted to him, assume he feels the same. Frequency of sex has declined, due to age and demands of a busy life IMO. If he was working out instead of helping at home I know I wouldn't be happier with that!

Both my husband and I could stand to lose some weight but we are certainly not obese. We do keep the lights on low and we maintain a very active sex life including last Friday night and last night which is pretty good for people in their mid-60's.

Anonymous wrote:For me a big weight gain shows a lack of self respect. That is really what is unappealing.

For many it's rooted in depression and other emotional issues that go well beyond self respect. I gained and eventually lost ~100 lbs and having participated in a couple of support groups over five years I can tell you that its rarely so simple. Most KNOW how to diet and exercise but eat poorly because of severe depression, anxiety and other marital and family issues. I found help with medications to address the depression and anxiety - and two years later I had lost the weight. My wife was very supportive during this dark chapter of my life - but we still had an active sex life. I know she lost attraction for me - which only compounded the depression - but we worked through it together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people should state genders. My husband has gained weight in his stomach and I hate it

It makes sex with him on top uncomfortable and less pleasure able for me

It upsets me that he would rather eat and drink a lot than stay a healthy weight and have a more enjoyable sex life.

Of course, it still feels just as good for him and he still expects me to be just as into him as he was before, but I’m not. He needs to lose weight. It would make sex more pleasurable for me.

+1

It has become very uncomfortable for me as well. I’m not into it. Makes me feel like he doesn’t care about my needs.

Yep. Drinking that extra beer and overeating is more important to him than me having more pleasurable sex. Got it.

Anonymous wrote:I've gained more than that. Our sex life is the same it ever was.

That’s what you think.

Anonymous wrote:For me a big weight gain shows a lack of self respect. That is really what is unappealing.

Uh, yeah, no. I gained weight because of constant emotional abuse + PPD so severe I was hospitalized.

Sex was the same pre/during/post weight: satisfying.

I have gained about that, then lost about 30 lbs. My weight hasn’t affected our sex life at all. Ironically, the only physical thing that has affected our sex life was DH needing surgery following an overuse injury with his exercise routine.

The biggest effect on our sex life has been getting closer emotionally, feeling comfortable enough to tell each other our fantasies, and kids starring school, which means occasional hours at the house alone during the day with the time and energy to make some of those fantasies play out.
Overall, I would say our sex life is much more satisfying now than when we were first married.

Anonymous wrote:I think people should state genders. My husband has gained weight in his stomach and I hate it

It makes sex with him on top uncomfortable and less pleasure able for me

It upsets me that he would rather eat and drink a lot than stay a healthy weight and have a more enjoyable sex life.

Of course, it still feels just as good for him and he still expects me to be just as into him as he was before, but I’m not. He needs to lose weight. It would make sex more pleasurable for me.

+1

It has become very uncomfortable for me as well. I’m not into it. Makes me feel like he doesn’t care about my needs.

For me a big weight gain shows a lack of self respect. That is really what is unappealing.

Anonymous wrote:Our sex life didn’t change because of weight gain.

Same. We have a great sex life and both mine and dhs weight has changed here and there (mine being the biggest)

I think people should state genders. My husband has gained weight in his stomach and I hate it

It makes sex with him on top uncomfortable and less pleasure able for me

It upsets me that he would rather eat and drink a lot than stay a healthy weight and have a more enjoyable sex life.

Of course, it still feels just as good for him and he still expects me to be just as into him as he was before, but I’m not. He needs to lose weight. It would make sex more pleasurable for me.

Our sex life didn’t change because of weight gain.

I've gained more than that. Our sex life is the same it ever was.

Do you still have a satisfying sex life? Are there any relationships that haven’t changed because of a major weight gain since the wedding.