I think that I'm dealing with this right now. DD has been getting lots of reports from school about misbehavior and I've been working with her teacher and principal on trying to mitigate it. But lately, I've noticed that DD will tell me that she is responding to something someone else does to her, yet she's the only one that gets in trouble. A student will call her a name and when she responds and is immediately punished while the other kid is not at all. I try to take some of these reports with a grain of salt because I've witnessed DD say that something wasn't "fair" (like us not giving her a sibling), but I do wonder how often she's really misbehaving, or are her incidents magnified because she's the only black child in her grade.

Recently I went to a parent visiting day at her school and noticed several children doing the things that I get emails and meetings about (not listening, talking out of turn/yelling out distracting things while the teacher is talking, not sitting still AT ALL, etc) and I wondered why my black DD seems to constantly be "in trouble". In all fairness, I also acknowledge that I don't know what the other parents get from the school as well, but I don't feel good about what I saw yesterday in relation to the sheer volume that I receive.

Listening and reading, OP. It's really unfair.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“She’s disruptive in class” or “She’s intentionally challenging my authority”

Um...sounds like the author was smart but did not follo the rules. It is a classroom; you need to follow the rules.

That is not what is being said. Almost all children misbehave at some point. But when when 2 girls have the exact same behavior the black girl will have a harsher punishment than the white girl.

This is what I read as well. The black kid got harsher punishment. That’s the moral of the story.

Anonymous wrote:“She’s disruptive in class” or “She’s intentionally challenging my authority”

Um...sounds like the author was smart but did not follo the rules. It is a classroom; you need to follow the rules.

That is not what is being said. Almost all children misbehave at some point. But when when 2 girls have the exact same behavior the black girl will have a harsher punishment than the white girl.

Anonymous wrote:“She’s disruptive in class” or “She’s intentionally challenging my authority”

Um...sounds like the author was smart but did not follo the rules. It is a classroom; you need to follow the rules.

This.

Go into the Maryland schools forum and read the millions of posts by white women criticizing mcps for their failure to stimulate their “gifted snowflake” who acts out because he is bored.

I could rattle off the names of white boys in mcps who act out, constantly disrupt instruction, and routinely get reprimanded by the teacher. The parents defend the kid and criticize the “lazy teacher” for not recognizing the kid is “gifted” and simply bored.

Racism does exist. And everyone on the planet has some sort of bias (including people of color).

“She’s disruptive in class” or “She’s intentionally challenging my authority”

Um...sounds like the author was smart but did not follo the rules. It is a classroom; you need to follow the rules.

Anonymous wrote:I'm white so my opinion on this issue is neither wanted nor valid.

And yet you feel you have to step forward to turn attention to yourself anyway? That’s not a whiteness problem. That’s narcissism.

Anonymous wrote:I'm white so my opinion on this issue is neither wanted nor valid.

So much white self loathing. The root has lots of articles like OP posted if you are into that.

I'm white so my opinion on this issue is neither wanted nor valid.

Need to clarify. The experiences are those of the author of the article. My personal experiences started in 2nd or 3rd grade.

Anonymous wrote:https://parenting.nytimes.com/preschooler/adultification-black-girls?action=click&module=Editors%20Picks&pgtype=Homepage

This is happening to boys too, here's looking at you North Arlington elementary schools.

It started when my preschool teacher labeled me as manipulative and intentionally disruptive. She even tried to film me to prove to my mother I was a problem — she never got that footage, and accused me of pretending to behave at the sight of the camera.
Although I was only 3 years old, she was convinced that my insistent hand raising and refusal to sit still were signs that I was malicious instead of simply understimulated. As soon as I was old enough to understand what happened, my mom didn’t hesitate to tell me the story each time I expressed self-doubt. She wanted me to understand I wasn’t a problem, I was simply an engaged learner. In a world where falling in line was more important than shining, my strengths were a threat.

I am so sorry that happened to you OP. That is so wrong and you deserve to feel a sense of accomplishment, acknowledgment, and peace after those annoying experiences.

OP, be prepared to get a ton of “we’re not racists, but we’re here to tell you that racism doesn’t exist so you should shutup” posts.

Anonymous wrote:https://parenting.nytimes.com/preschooler/adultification-black-girls?action=click&module=Editors%20Picks&pgtype=Homepage

This is happening to boys too, here's looking at you North Arlington elementary schools.

OP instead of simply copying and pasting a segment of the article could you offer some insight into how this issue of "adultification" relates to you specifically and/or what issues you have with North Arlington elementary schools? I think offering some of your own personal experience and or opinion could help this post be more productive for discussion as opposed to just a link and a snippet which doesn't necessarily give folks anything to go on as far as the direction of conversation.

Anonymous wrote:https://parenting.nytimes.com/preschooler/adultification-black-girls?action=click&module=Editors%20Picks&pgtype=Homepage

This is happening to boys too, here's looking at you North Arlington elementary schools.

It started when my preschool teacher labeled me as manipulative and intentionally disruptive. She even tried to film me to prove to my mother I was a problem — she never got that footage, and accused me of pretending to behave at the sight of the camera.
Although I was only 3 years old, she was convinced that my insistent hand raising and refusal to sit still were signs that I was malicious instead of simply understimulated. As soon as I was old enough to understand what happened, my mom didn’t hesitate to tell me the story each time I expressed self-doubt. She wanted me to understand I wasn’t a problem, I was simply an engaged learner. In a world where falling in line was more important than shining, my strengths were a threat.

What you just said reminds me a lot of what Michelle Obama wrote in Becoming about her experiences early on in school and how her mother spoke to her about them.

https://parenting.nytimes.com/preschooler/adultification-black-girls?action=click&module=Editors%20Picks&pgtype=Homepage

This is happening to boys too, here's looking at you North Arlington elementary schools.

It started when my preschool teacher labeled me as manipulative and intentionally disruptive. She even tried to film me to prove to my mother I was a problem — she never got that footage, and accused me of pretending to behave at the sight of the camera.
Although I was only 3 years old, she was convinced that my insistent hand raising and refusal to sit still were signs that I was malicious instead of simply understimulated. As soon as I was old enough to understand what happened, my mom didn’t hesitate to tell me the story each time I expressed self-doubt. She wanted me to understand I wasn’t a problem, I was simply an engaged learner. In a world where falling in line was more important than shining, my strengths were a threat.