You can pause TSP contributions for a few years for the sake of childcare. Having good childcare will allow you to focus on your career and increase your earning potential. My only question is why your DH would not also decrease his retirement savings, and why it would be on you only?

Sounds like your daycare is not the right fit. My kid spends 1.5 hours outside daily at a minimum.

OP, you can't afford a nanny. I'm going to be honest here--if you are renting and the *only* way you can afford a nanny is with zero overtime and to reduce retirement--you are skating on thin ice financially as is and you don't have wiggle room at all or an emergency fund.

I wouldn't feel so bad about cutting back money invested in the market in the current stock market environment. A correction is long overdue. It would be prudent to cut back and pay your current bills rather than risk incurring debt.

Give it some time. Also, look at different preschools. Some do a lot of outdoor time, some are more nature-based or play-based, some have separate nap rooms, etc. You need to find one whose style meshes with your kid and your needs.

You can't afford a nanny. Give your son some time to adjust.

OP - why do you still rent?

I do think that you need to give it some time for your child to get adjusted to daycare/preschool. FWIW, my kids (4 and 20 months) are sick a lot as well. It's just the time of the year. My son at 20 months used to cry and would not eat or drink and after a couple of months, he has completed adjusted. It's a rough phase.

You just started preschool a month ago. I would give it more time before making any huge decisions (esp one you arguable can’t afford).

I would not reduce retirement money for a nanny.

Anonymous wrote:I have a two year old and another one on the way in August. DH and I both work full time. We are in a rental and trying to save up for a down payment on a house, but childcare makes that tough, and childcare for two will stall it completely. Until recently, DS was in a nanny share. That ended at the end of 2019 and we've since started him in a full-time "preschool" (daycare). I'm just not crazy about the new situation. He isn't napping well, has been sick basically the whole time, and doesn't spend nearly as much time outside as he used to. I've thought a lot about what my ideal situation would be, and that would be to have a full-time nanny for both kids and for the older one to be in preschool part time. The problem, of course, is that this would stretch us to our limit financially. As of right now, my take home pay wouldn't cover this. The only way to do so would be to decrease my TSP contributions (currently maxed) and to arrange our work schedules so we only need a nanny 40 hours a week, no overtime. My question is, is this worth it? Is it completely irrational? I realize that this is a very privileged thing to even be considering, and I know plenty of children go through full time day care and are just fine, or likely better than fine. But the logical side of my brain is having a hard time convincing the emotional side of my brain, and my guy is saying this would be better for our children. Anyways, I would love any thoughts you might have. Again, I am very aware of how privileged this is and I apologize for being tone deaf. I know we all just want what's best for our kids.

We did exactly this for a few years when our children were 3 and an infant. We were in the red/borrowing from savings most months, and pulled back a little on retirement savings. But it was for a short time, relatively speaking, and certainly was not only better for him, but it simplified our lives.

When DC #1 went to kindergarten, DC #2 went to daycare. So, I think we did the nanny + preschool combination for three years.

Financially it was not ideal, but I have no regrets and would do it again. My older son was (simply put) not suited for full-time group childcare, and did much better at home with a nanny. (He is 22 now, and a sociable introvert. Looking back, I see why he needed something different given how he is wired.)

A few comments:

*Our older son started part-time morning preschool at three, and it was fine, but in retrospect he would have been fine not going until he was four. It is not critical to start at three IMO.

*We shared our nanny a few days a week with another family who needed part-time childcare. Their daughter was the same age as our younger child, and it worked well because in the mornings the nanny only had two children to care for - she would go to the park with them, then pick up older DC at preschool and return home for lunch and naps. We saved money and our younger child had a playmate as he got a little older. My only caveat there is that you need to work out the terms of the part-time arrangement up-front. Our nanny share family eventually wanted to increase the hours, but we had not anticipated that and they would have paid the nanny without us deriving any benefit at all.

I hope this helps.

It sounds like the preschool isn't a very good fit, maybe look for another one before you go the full-time nanny route? Your baby will be fine if you start him out in daycare. We did an in home daycare that had a separate nap room until the kids were 3, so naps were not an issue.

No one can tell you if it's worth it or not. I will tell you that we felt incredibly stretched with two in full time daycare/preschool. It was tight. Retirement was not maxed during that time.

My advice would be to do the nanny for a year. Then after a year, look at full time daycare/school for both kids at once.

The relief of having our oldest for the kindergarten was immense because we get $900 a month back to put towards other things.

As long as you contribute enough to get the match, it's not the end of the world. It's a temporary situation, and it would make your life a lot easier if you can find a good nanny for the next couple of years.

I have a two year old and another one on the way in August. DH and I both work full time. We are in a rental and trying to save up for a down payment on a house, but childcare makes that tough, and childcare for two will stall it completely. Until recently, DS was in a nanny share. That ended at the end of 2019 and we've since started him in a full-time "preschool" (daycare). I'm just not crazy about the new situation. He isn't napping well, has been sick basically the whole time, and doesn't spend nearly as much time outside as he used to. I've thought a lot about what my ideal situation would be, and that would be to have a full-time nanny for both kids and for the older one to be in preschool part time. The problem, of course, is that this would stretch us to our limit financially. As of right now, my take home pay wouldn't cover this. The only way to do so would be to decrease my TSP contributions (currently maxed) and to arrange our work schedules so we only need a nanny 40 hours a week, no overtime. My question is, is this worth it? Is it completely irrational? I realize that this is a very privileged thing to even be considering, and I know plenty of children go through full time day care and are just fine, or likely better than fine. But the logical side of my brain is having a hard time convincing the emotional side of my brain, and my guy is saying this would be better for our children. Anyways, I would love any thoughts you might have. Again, I am very aware of how privileged this is and I apologize for being tone deaf. I know we all just want what's best for our kids.