Anonymous wrote:did they get better with interacting, becoming much more involved and hands as the kids got older? I am the default parent as my work schedule is much more flexible than DH and I also telework twice a week. So I understand that most of the care-giving responsibilities would fall on me. DH does try to help out as best as he can, but more so with the household responsibilities, while I do like 90% of the work of taking care of our almost 2.5 year old toddler. When he does watch our DD, he just plays or read books to her for a few minutes, and then just goes on his phone. I'm so sick of him being on the phone scrolling through facebook or whatever and not giving DD his full attention. I complain to him all the time, but it always end up in us arguing and him basically saying I can't be controlling him.
Also, I think as a result of him not being too hands on with DD, she has always been extremely clingy and attached to me. When I drop her off at daycare, I see so many hands on father there, that I can't help but become so sad that my DH isn't one of them. He thinks he's already doing a good job and that my expectation is too high.
Overall, putting DD aside, he's a pretty decent spouse as he is understanding and supportive of me. FWIW, we are not planning to have a second kid as we are aware of how our only child is affecting our marriage. I'm just hoping that as our DD gets older, he will somehow magically become much more hands on. Otherwise, I feel like I could be a better mom to my DD without DH in the picture (less resentful and maybe happier). Did you find that your DH did become a better parent, despite the early years?
Thank you for sharing your experiences!
My DS is five. My DH's parenting strategy is still "here is my phone" and making him chicken nuggets. Blah. Sorry OP. Now, the good news is that DS does T-ball, and DH was really good about that. He didn't coach, but he would take him an hour early and practice skills with him. Hopefully he will do that this season as well. He also takes him to karate and soccer. And he is extremely good about letting DS fail and learn from his mistakes, teaching him leadership, and teaching good discipline. However, those are things that are very specific to my DH so I cannot promise you will have that.