Anonymous wrote:It think I would just invite them to the dinner on the actual birthday. They can decide if they want to make the trip. They could always make a day of it, do other things while in town also...

This is what I would do. Invite them, and they can come if they want to/can make it, or they can say no if it doesn't work for them.

Anonymous wrote:We have never celebrated kids birthdays with extended family.

Same. My parents live across the country and my mother was very against my being a parent, and then being a single (not by choice) parent.

My IL wanted this when the kids were little, we did it for the 1st Bday through the 3rd. After that it is for immediate family or friends only now that they are older.
I am not planning multiple parties. Once i told DH he could plan and cook for his parents he decided it wasn't important and the kids really don't care if they come or not.

It think I would just invite them to the dinner on the actual birthday. They can decide if they want to make the trip. They could always make a day of it, do other things while in town also...

We don’t celebrate birthdays with grandparents. They love too far away ( 4 hours by car) and they all work (as do DH and I), so we just don’t do it.

Anonymous wrote:We have never celebrated kids birthdays with extended family.

How far do they live?

Anonymous wrote:“Family” in our house means mom, dad, brother, sister. Not grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, etc. We generally celebrate with immediate family only unless someone in the extended family just happens to be around.

Many of you here work way too hard to include everybody in everything. We just don’t have the energy for it. Honestly I think it’s why so many of you have family and in-law stres.

It's usually not all our extended family, but at minimum I've always invited my parents, my brother, and my husband's parents. My in-laws would be upset if not invited.

We have never celebrated kids birthdays with extended family.

“Family” in our house means mom, dad, brother, sister. Not grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, etc. We generally celebrate with immediate family only unless someone in the extended family just happens to be around.

Many of you here work way too hard to include everybody in everything. We just don’t have the energy for it. Honestly I think it’s why so many of you have family and in-law stres.

Anonymous wrote:Can they come to the friends' party?

This year it's a sleepover, so no. And plus the in-laws don't like going to the friends' bday parties. I tried that before, and they weren't happy.

Can they come to the friends' party?

Anonymous wrote:Can't they come to her birthday dinner?

The birthday is on a weeknight - and family lives 1-2 hours away, so it needs to be a longer type of engagement. And some of the family work late during the week, and some of the family wants to avoid driving at night time. For various reasons, it has always been on a weekend. But the weekends are fully booked up this month.

Invite families to the birthday dinner.

We've never invited family to a separate celebration, though. they call and say happy birthday, and that's it.

Can't they come to her birthday dinner?

This year there is so much on the weekend schedule it will be pretty hard to get together with our families for our kid's birthday. We either host a birthday meal at our house or host at a restaurant with dessert after at our house. Thinking of just skipping it this year. Still doing a friends birthday, and we'll probably go out to dinner on her actual birthday. Am I making a mistake? In-laws are sensitive about this kind of thing, and wondering if our child will really miss the family celebration.