I would just RSVP no to the party.

Isn't the point of giving someone a gift just that? Getting something that they would want? It's not about the gift-giver. It's about the recipient. If this is what the child/parents want, why not go along with it? What's the harm?

Anonymous wrote:I think what bothers me about this is the appearance of trying to have it both ways. It seems like the charity is a front for a request for cash. I think it would be a nice idea if all the donations went to the suggested charity and the parents agreed privately with their child that they would match the total or some percentage to purchase a gift.

Well said. The charity part doesn't bother me, its that 1/2 of the amount goes to the kid.

Anonymous wrote:Ewww...

I thought it was never OK to ask for a gift.

Personally, I have no problem buying a gift. I have no problem going to a no-gift party. But for some reason, having people say "please give to this charity in lieu of a gift" really, really bothers me. Suddenly instead of being invited to something, I'm being told to spend my money.

And to throw in the "a gift the child really wants" is just ridiculous.

But at the same time, as much as it would bother me, I'd probably do it. Although I probably wouldn't give much. Which makes me wonder...does the person see how much each person gives? EWWWWW!

I agree with this. What that really means is, "a gift the child really wants, as opposed to the piddly crap that you would otherwise give to him."

Ewwww.

Ewww...

I thought it was never OK to ask for a gift.

Personally, I have no problem buying a gift. I have no problem going to a no-gift party. But for some reason, having people say "please give to this charity in lieu of a gift" really, really bothers me. Suddenly instead of being invited to something, I'm being told to spend my money.

And to throw in the "a gift the child really wants" is just ridiculous.

But at the same time, as much as it would bother me, I'd probably do it. Although I probably wouldn't give much. Which makes me wonder...does the person see how much each person gives? EWWWWW!

I think what bothers me about this is the appearance of trying to have it both ways. It seems like the charity is a front for a request for cash. I think it would be a nice idea if all the donations went to the suggested charity and the parents agreed privately with their child that they would match the total or some percentage to purchase a gift.

Yuck. I agree it is tacky. Anytime a person solicits money as a gift is tacky to me...period.

Anonymous wrote:Is one of the charities "The Human Fund" ?

Seriuosly though, no I would not donate. What a tacky request.

Tacky, tacky, tacky. I would ignore it and give a gift of whatever nature I would normally give.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but I tend to disagree with the PPs. I looked at the website, and it seems like a decent idea to me.

More environmentally friendly than all that excess trash created by wrapping paper, tissue paper, gift bags, etc. And, all the extra plastic crap that comes along with each individually wrapped toy.

Just as you say that you'd like your son to have the benefit of choosing a gift. I'd say that the person who's party it is gets to decide how she celebrates.

If you don't want to go along with it, I'd say just say so and tell that you don't like the idea. Otherwise, just go along with it.

A good way to teach your own child that different people do things differently. A lesson in tolerance.

I agree with you except the part in bold - the person whose party it is decides how to celebrate, yes, but cannot dictate whether guests give gifts at all, or if so, what gifts they give. A gift is just that - a gift. It is given freely, by the giver, if it is given at all.

If you invite a person to celebrate your event, you dictate how the event goes, but you do not dictate how your guest chooses to honor you (or not).

Sorry, but I tend to disagree with the PPs. I looked at the website, and it seems like a decent idea to me.

More environmentally friendly than all that excess trash created by wrapping paper, tissue paper, gift bags, etc. And, all the extra plastic crap that comes along with each individually wrapped toy.

Just as you say that you'd like your son to have the benefit of choosing a gift. I'd say that the person who's party it is gets to decide how she celebrates.

If you don't want to go along with it, I'd say just say so and tell that you don't like the idea. Otherwise, just go along with it.

A good way to teach your own child that different people do things differently. A lesson in tolerance.

I think it's in pretty poor taste.

Is one of the charities "The Human Fund" ?

Seriuosly though, no I would not donate. What a tacky request.

Eww - "watch the giving grow" - that's an awful message to associate with a kid's birthday! Self-righteousness and grabbiness all in one fell swoop. If people want to give to charity, they should do so themselves - not gangpress the parents of their kids' friends to do it on their behalf. And if they want the moral high ground of turning a kiddie party into a nonprofit fundraising opportunity, just forgo the present for the birthday boy/girl. Personally, I'd just do whatever you would normally do for a friend's birthday, small gift or whatever.

That's ridiculous! I would do whatever you woukd normally do for a child's birthday - bring a gift, giftcard, etc.

My 5 year old has been invited to and "Echoage" birthday party. See link below. There's a request not to bring a gift but to send money online - half of the money will go to a charity and the other half will go to a gift that the birthday child "really wants". I like the charity idea. I guess I could do a gift card also which would be the same as sending money electronically to the birthday child. I don't know, the whole thing seems tacky. Re: the money going toward a gift that child really wants - what happened to "it's the thought that counts?" What about taking the time to reflect on what the child might really like, get my son to think about it and make the effort to get a gift, be thoughtful about another person? Saving the environment and helping charities shouldn't be the only values taught or enforced here. I'm inclined to send a donation to the charity in the child's name (WWF was chosen) and a small gift or a giftcard. Just wondering what other people would do.


http://www.echoage.com/About_ECHOage.html