Child 2 (5) knows they get in trouble for certain behavior. I’d bet anything that instigating happens right after child 2 gets in trouble or when child 2 thinks of something and chooses not to do it.

Also, remember that young kids are still learning cause/effect. This child is experimenting, trying to see if the other two will also get in trouble for that behavior.

To nip tattling in the bud:
Tattletale
Little miss tattletale
Tattlin’ Madeleine
Tattletale Tilly
Armadillo Tattletale
Rainbow fish tattle tale
Don't squeal unless it’s a big deal
Don’t call me a tattletale
No more tattling
Bad case of tattle tongue
Book about tattling
Children’s book about tattling
Let’s talk about tattling
Telling isn’t tattling (possibly a year or two older)

I’ve never had an issue with this, right? I wish...

My child does this. I think she gets tired of being the one who gets in trouble and she is a boundary pusher. Her sister is generally very well behaved and easy going. It probably feels like life is unfair. Maybe some dynamic like this is at play.

Anonymous wrote:Each time this happens, talk this through with the child and give meaningful consequences

I also recommend taking a close look at the family dynamics to get some perspective on where the child is getting the inspiration for this behavior.

My brothers and sisters did a version of this behavior - misbehaved, then consistently misdirected adults by blamed a sibling for the misbehavior - and they were inspired by larger family dynamics.

You need to talk to child 2 about instigating and why it is wrong and children 1 and 3 about how not to fall for #2s instigating. Explain that if it happens again, there will be a consequence for the instigator and the one(s) who followed along.

Each time this happens, talk this through with the child and give meaningful consequences

Evil. That’s a sign of a real personality disorder.

Are you not paying enough attention to your middle child?

So, punish the child who’s instigating. How is this hard?

If the dynamic changes, punish everyone.

The question is have you experienced this and/or how would you handle?

Child 2 can often be overheard encouraging children 1 and 3 to break the rules. When. Child 1 or 3 follows along and breaks the rules, child 2 immediately runs to tattle. FWIW child 2 is often the one that pushes the boundaries the most in terms of breaking the house rules (ie don’t open the windows, don’t climb on the counters) while children 1 and 3 are usually compliant on these fronts. Children 1 and 3 have other places where they rebel such as fighting bath or bedtime.
Children are 6, 5, 3.