Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are getting divorced, how can you plan on not being employed going forward? You will have to get a job.

I don't get this either.

It would be easier if I got the house we live in, but he had it before we were married. It seems easier for him to move since he has a job, but he claims he wants the house. Say I gets spousal support for 7 years, which would be enough to live off of, and a buyout for my share of the house which might be equal to a downpayment. In 7 years, my savings doubles. Then I could use that money to pay for house payments. Also, does my share of the retirement money have to stay in retirement, or could I use it now? I've already been out of the work force for almost a decade. My own retirement money might be enough for retirement, not even counting my share of his. Say I have 15 years before retirement age, and half of that will be covered by spousal support. I'd only have to work like 8 years. One kid is still in elementary school, so it makes working full time difficult for a few more years.

Op id look into getting a job before thinking you can get a house on just child support alone with no job. Unless you were married to Bill Gates or Jeff Bezos, chances are you won’t be getting enough to afford a house in this area.

You'll have to prove a stable income from the divorce - either via alimony payments or a lump sum.

If its a lump sum, you'll be able to proceed quicker. But the alimony will be harder because you usually need 2-3 years of income tax returns to show you have the money.

Assuming you've never worked prior to divorce - that's a problem.

Anonymous wrote:If you can't pay cash outright, you will have to have pretty solid proof of the money you will be getting in the settlement to convince a loan officer. Until then, you may need a cosigner.

How long will the settlement take? Can you long-term Air B&B instead? Or look for a house rental by owner.

This. The bank will need proof that you can pay the mortgage. If you're not planning on working, then does that mean you have lots of cash? Could you use cash to buy a house?

It sounds like you may not have looked into divorce very deeply yet. You might want to speak with an attorney to find out what type of settlement you should expect. My understanding is that SAHMs who divorce typically have to get jobs unless there's a lot of existing marital wealth to be split. The days of automatically getting half of your ex's future earnings are gone. There are a lot of factors, so please consult with an attorney to see what you should reasonably expect based on your specific circumstances.

Good luck and hugs to you during this difficult time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are getting divorced, how can you plan on not being employed going forward? You will have to get a job.

Maybe she gets enough in support? I know many divorced moms who do not work. They have primary custody and the ex pays for it.

I don’t know anyone who does this anymore. Most of the time now the parents have fifty fifty custody and the mom doesn’t get much financially from the dad. Sahms can really get screwed by divorce. They put aside their career for the sake of the family unit and if they divorce then they are in a much worse position than the dads financially. Judges expect former sahms to get a job if they divorce. If you want to be a sahm and not work outside the home, then you need to stay married.

Well, also, child support is calculated based on what it supposedly costs to support children. Children. If the custodial parent does not work, then by definition it is no longer child support. It is adult support. And the kids are essentially being stolen from by the parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are getting divorced, how can you plan on not being employed going forward? You will have to get a job.

Maybe she gets enough in support? I know many divorced moms who do not work. They have primary custody and the ex pays for it.

I don’t know anyone who does this anymore. Most of the time now the parents have fifty fifty custody and the mom doesn’t get much financially from the dad. Sahms can really get screwed by divorce. They put aside their career for the sake of the family unit and if they divorce then they are in a much worse position than the dads financially. Judges expect former sahms to get a job if they divorce. If you want to be a sahm and not work outside the home, then you need to stay married.

Anonymous wrote:If you are getting divorced, how can you plan on not being employed going forward? You will have to get a job.

Maybe she gets enough in support? I know many divorced moms who do not work. They have primary custody and the ex pays for it.

Anonymous wrote:Why not just ask for the house you're currently living in to be part of the divorce settlement?

Assuming you live in a house (and not renting) ^^

Why not just ask for the house you're currently living in to be part of the divorce settlement?

Nearly impossible unless you can pay in cash.

Even being self employed is difficult

If you can't pay cash outright, you will have to have pretty solid proof of the money you will be getting in the settlement to convince a loan officer. Until then, you may need a cosigner.

How long will the settlement take? Can you long-term Air B&B instead? Or look for a house rental by owner.

To buy a house you need to prove you have income to pay the mortgage. You might need to wait until the divorce is finalized so you have income to show the bank.

Anonymous wrote:If you are getting divorced, how can you plan on not being employed going forward? You will have to get a job.

I don't get this either.

If you are getting divorced, how can you plan on not being employed going forward? You will have to get a job.

I'm a stay at home mom and divorce is on the horizon. How hard is it to buy a house when you are unemployed, and not planning on being employed in the next few years except maybe in a part time capacity? I have money saved for a down payment, and probably will have plenty of money coming to me in the divorce. Until I get that money, how can I move? I'd rather not have to go back to living in an apartment and even apartments want proof of income.