Anonymous
Post 01/21/2020 11:56     Subject: Who else has no friends?
I don't and it's getting lonely. DH grew up here and all of our "friends" are buddies he went to HS with so I never formed my own friendships and never really connected with anyone. Then we had kids, long commutes, ets and we have no neighbors our age so it just became difficult. My parents also moved while I was in college so I never go/went "home" and never kept in close contact with any friends from HS. Even friends from college I keep in touch with here and there, but no one I would call randomly.

We are in the process of moving to a new area and I'm making it a goal of mine to start making more of an effort to make and keep friends. My older son is also going to start Kinder in the fall and I'm hopeful we can make some friends there, too.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2020 10:29     Subject: Re:Who else has no friends?
Anonymous wrote:I think at certain life stages it is difficult to make close friends because most people just don’t have the time.

We moved to a new area 4yrs ago, and I WAHM and have 3 elementary aged DC. I have tons of acquaintances but only a few friends. It takes a lot of time for friendships to become closer/deeper IMO and we just don’t see each other often enough for that to be the case yet. We meet for coffee/lunch every month or two and occasionally (a few times/yr) get together as couples or as whole families. It just isn’t as much contact as say in college or my 20s when we saw each other daily or nearly every other weekend..

It just takes a lot of effort and IMO some acceptance that it’s just part of this particular stage in life and things take time.


Feeling able to make friends if you put in the effort is different than what some of us are describing where we do what we think should work, but it never does.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2020 10:26     Subject: Who else has no friends?
Presently I don’t have any local friends. I have friends in other places I’ve lived who I know love me. I have a very friendly and supportive work environment, my kids, a long distance partner, and my parents. I figure I’ll probably make some friends where I am eventually. I’m an introvert who loves people in small doses so my present set up works for me.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2020 10:25     Subject: Re:Who else has no friends?
I think at certain life stages it is difficult to make close friends because most people just don’t have the time.

We moved to a new area 4yrs ago, and I WAHM and have 3 elementary aged DC. I have tons of acquaintances but only a few friends. It takes a lot of time for friendships to become closer/deeper IMO and we just don’t see each other often enough for that to be the case yet. We meet for coffee/lunch every month or two and occasionally (a few times/yr) get together as couples or as whole families. It just isn’t as much contact as say in college or my 20s when we saw each other daily or nearly every other weekend..

It just takes a lot of effort and IMO some acceptance that it’s just part of this particular stage in life and things take time.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2020 10:11     Subject: Who else has no friends?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a lot of acquaintances. I think many would see me as someone with many friends, but I don't have anyone to "go deep" with. I'm really lonely.


+1.

Even groups I'm a part of, like a book club, leave me out. I just heard of three events given by members of the book club over the past few months to which I wasn’t invoted.

It doesn’t help that research keeps pointing to strong social connections as important for long term health.


Do you find that you join a group and it's like everyone or most everyone else is speaking some language that connects them all together that you can't hear? I don't feel like people dislike me as much as they just don't care about me. I've about given up.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2020 10:09     Subject: Who else has no friends?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a lot of acquaintances. I think many would see me as someone with many friends, but I don't have anyone to "go deep" with. I'm really lonely.


OP here. I'm the same way. I know a lot of people (mainly through work) but I don't have anyone to "go deep" with besides my husband and sister. I'm not good at making lasting friendships.


Yep. Another one who is really, really lonely. We’ve moved a lot and I am a friendly person with lots of acquaintances, but I never seem to make it to that deeper level.


I never make it to a deeper level, either. My husband suffers from untreated depression and I'm an only child, so I basically just feel like at 48 years old, I must be defective and it's not in the cards for me.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2020 10:09     Subject: Who else has no friends?
Me too OP. I do kinda miss girl time. We moved about 7 years ago and I wfh, so I don't really meet a lot of new people other than through my kids' schools. Some of the parents are super nice, but the problem is that they are all soo busy. No one seems to have much free time to socialize on their own. But my DH is my BF, and we have a pretty good relationship, so I'm not too too only.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2020 09:59     Subject: Who else has no friends?
Anonymous wrote:I have a lot of acquaintances. I think many would see me as someone with many friends, but I don't have anyone to "go deep" with. I'm really lonely.


+1.

Even groups I'm a part of, like a book club, leave me out. I just heard of three events given by members of the book club over the past few months to which I wasn’t invoted.

It doesn’t help that research keeps pointing to strong social connections as important for long term health.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2020 09:56     Subject: Who else has no friends?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a lot of acquaintances. I think many would see me as someone with many friends, but I don't have anyone to "go deep" with. I'm really lonely.


OP here. I'm the same way. I know a lot of people (mainly through work) but I don't have anyone to "go deep" with besides my husband and sister. I'm not good at making lasting friendships.


Yep. Another one who is really, really lonely. We’ve moved a lot and I am a friendly person with lots of acquaintances, but I never seem to make it to that deeper level.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2020 09:52     Subject: Who else has no friends?
Anonymous wrote:I have a lot of acquaintances. I think many would see me as someone with many friends, but I don't have anyone to "go deep" with. I'm really lonely.


I'm the same way, I know and talk to a lot of people but I don't think I really have a non family member I can "go deep" with. I don't feel too lonely because all my time and energy is spent on work, family and more family. I'm also an introvert so that helps too.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2020 09:46     Subject: Who else has no friends?
Anonymous wrote:I have a lot of acquaintances. I think many would see me as someone with many friends, but I don't have anyone to "go deep" with. I'm really lonely.


OP here. I'm the same way. I know a lot of people (mainly through work) but I don't have anyone to "go deep" with besides my husband and sister. I'm not good at making lasting friendships.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2020 09:39     Subject: Who else has no friends?
I have a lot of acquaintances. I think many would see me as someone with many friends, but I don't have anyone to "go deep" with. I'm really lonely.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2020 09:37     Subject: Who else has no friends?
I don't have any. We move a lot, and it's out of sight, out of mind for them. I used to call people after we'd moved, but they thought that was weird, so now I don't bother meeting people. Not I could could if I wanted.

I'm really lonely, though.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2020 09:29     Subject: Who else has no friends?
I don't have any close friends. I have a lot of acquaintances/loose friendships. Sometimes we get together and I have fun, but I never feel like I need close friendships in my life. I also have my spouse and sister and they're my best friends.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2020 09:27     Subject: Who else has no friends?
I have no friends. Well, I have a couple I keep in touch with here and there but we rarely meet up (maybe once a year or so). I don't feel lonely at all because I have my husband and my sister who I talk to everyday. Is it weird that I have almost no friends? Anyone else in this boat?