Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our parents in many cases worked fewer hours, had shorter commutes, and more family help. They were probably in better shape too, so more energetic.

Oh yeah, AND parenting is much more involved. The culture is to spend more quality time with your kids playing and reading and taking them to activities. Rather than brushing them off so you can clean.

Actually think this is a lot of it. When I talk to my friends about their childhoods, there is a ton of spontaneous recounting that their moms shooed them outside or sat them in front of TVs so that they (the moms) could clean. And not a lot of recounting of times their moms played with them or took them to structured activities (requiring chauffeur service, so the moms usually couldn’t be at home and cleaning).

Of course, there’s a lot more than goes into it too— including more parents (moms) working, and not just longer hours and commutes, but being expected to answer emails at all hours and never really being “off” in many cases. A lot of parents are doing bits of work for their jobs when they’re at home and kids are playing independently— time they might have previously spent cleaning.

I don't whine about it, but it's true that standards have changed from my parent's generation to now. My parent's were not driving me around to a bunch of places for activities. Our activity was playing outside with our friends. In fact, expectations around parent involvement with kids has skyrocketed. I also think expectations around what kind of meals is appropriate to serve and how clean the house is supposed to be have increased. Also, expectations about what kids are supposed to do to help maintain the house is different now than when I was a kid. I did way more chores, I was in charge of babysitting my little brother, etc. My parents also were not involved with my schoolwork much. My mom worked but she taped her soaps and shows (several hours a day) and she came home and relaxed and watched her shows many, many nights. My dad also worked, he came home and cooked a very simple meal and then he watched the news for the rest of the evening (Of course, this is my experience and generalities, so does't apply to everyone). We kids had to clean the kitchen, do homework, practice instrument, we watched tv, talked on the phone (for hours sometimes!) without much involvement or direction from them.

NP. So what I've noticed is a lot of women saying their husbands work SUCH demanding "high powered" jobs (hate that phrase btw, it sounds really stupid) that they cannot be expected to ever take a kid sick day, snow day, or lift a finger at home.

I find this hard to believe because even though my husband is in a well paid profession (finance - he makes around 850k now), as he's gotten more senior, his hours have *really* scaled back. A lot of it has to do with better technology but also being able to delegate certain bitch work tasks. He's home by 6 every night, minimal travel, and flexible hours. Today he's leaving at 9 to take one of our kids to the doctor because I have an appointment elsewhere.

I'm 38, he's 39 so we're around the age as most people on here who have kids.

Anonymous wrote:Our parents in many cases worked fewer hours, had shorter commutes, and more family help. They were probably in better shape too, so more energetic.

Oh yeah, AND parenting is much more involved. The culture is to spend more quality time with your kids playing and reading and taking them to activities. Rather than brushing them off so you can clean.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people like to clean. If one has OCD one can find it relaxing.

I'm a SAHM. I do like to clean. But I admit that I wouldn't want to do it after working all day. That would suck. But that's also why I don't work so. Shrug.

At least you understand that homemaking is part of your job description as a SAHM. A lot of younger women seem to believe SAHM just means they are the nanny who doesn’t do housework and expect their partners who work all day to contribute in that department equally.

I don’t know. It’s not that hard to do an hour of cleaning once the kids are in bed. We’re just a whiny generation.

Anonymous wrote:Some people like to clean. If one has OCD one can find it relaxing.

I'm a SAHM. I do like to clean. But I admit that I wouldn't want to do it after working all day. That would suck. But that's also why I don't work so. Shrug.

I hear ya OP. Mostly what bothers me are the people who refuse to pay for their help.

Like the woman yesterday who's husband is a high earner and she wants to go back to work but she's dithering because she doesn't want to pay for a housekeeper.

I just don't get it. What kinds of answers are they expecting to hear? There really aren't a lot of solutions besides 1. do it yourself and 2. hire help but you need to be able to pay well to get anyone good.

Our parents in many cases worked fewer hours, had shorter commutes, and more family help. They were probably in better shape too, so more energetic.

Some people like to clean. If one has OCD one can find it relaxing.

Anonymous wrote:Ha! I only work part time and I think it’s hard to keep up with this stuff. It’s mostly because I don’t like doing housework or cooking. Duh. But thanks for making it look easy! You are a gem!

Some people do like to cook. But do you think anyone likes to clean? NO.

They do it anyway because it needs to be done and they don't complain about it because they're adults with self control.

Ha! I only work part time and I think it’s hard to keep up with this stuff. It’s mostly because I don’t like doing housework or cooking. Duh. But thanks for making it look easy! You are a gem!

It may be because a lot of posters have high expectations for house cleanliness and the means to make it happen, so the other posters feel bad about their lives and start complaining.

I cannot afford to outsource and my house is messy. That's how it is. End of story.

I completely agree OP. It is annoying and juvenile to complain about the same things everyone else has to do.

Sooo many posts all the damn time about how they can't keep up with housework, errands, meal prep, cooking, kids, jobs, etc. and how they want to hire someone to do these things but they can't because they don't want to pay them well. And no one wants to work for you for 4 hours a week at minimum wage.

It gets really annoying because the answer is always the same: hire help if you can but you need to pay them well for them to want to stick around. Didn't you people ever look at your parents' lives? Both of mine worked and they were go, go, go all the time that we were young too. That's called being an adult. Gasp, shock, horror. Who knew.

This is not a new phenomenon at all. The younger millennials are so damn whiny about it though, as if no one on earth has ever worked full time plus tried to raise a couple of kids and eat healthy.