Anonymous wrote:When our kids were little little, they used to spend the night frequently with my mom, who loved and initiated the overnights. A couple years ago however, they decided they are no longer comfortable sleeping over. They (7,9) insist nothing happened, they just aren’t comfortable anymore. This is fine with us, and we are sure my mom gets other opportunities for quality time. But she’s never stopped pushing the sleepover thing. I feel like every time they interact she brings it up, asking them if they want a sleepover. My youngest point blank asked me to help her, so I shut it down. It worked for a while, but over break she tried again, and now she’s upped the ante telling them she will take them to the indoor water park if they decide they are ready for sleepovers. I feel like she’s trying to manipulate them. I asked them if this is something they’d be interesting in doing, and my oldest said not really and then got upset. Probably because she’d like to swim but knows she can’t unless she gives in and spends the night. So she’s conflicted. My mom just contacted me about it, telling me she found a Groupon, so I think the girls would be up for it.

Do I mention the manipulation when I tell her we are shelving this conversation until the girls mention interest in spending the night? Any other advice?

Anonymous wrote:(I'm assuming cold creepy boyfriend poster is not OP.)

OP -- tell her point blank that you don't like the idea of trying to persuade them into sleepovers if they don't want to. If she wants to buy them a Groupon for the water park, she can. She *can't* buy her way into a sleepover and it's not right for her to try.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take the hit for the kids and tell her that you’ve decided no sleepovers; it’s not up to them. That way she’ll stop trying to bribe them. Separately, I’d be concerned that neither will tell me what me what happened. I’m not saying it was something serious, but I’d be concerned that even at such a young age my kids didn’t feel comfortable telling me stuff.

I used to do that but as mine get older I encourage them to say no as its ok to say no. My Mom has her boyfriend there and we don't know him well and I cannot imagine he'd do anything but he's a bit creepy and cold. She will not have the kids alone. Usually she'll only insist on sleep overs when his grandkids are visiting so in that case I call her on it and say no as we don't know him or the kids or their parents and the stuff she has said about one very much concerns me.

I can’t believe you’re this dumb. Talk about burying the lede. Jesus. Something has clearly happened between one of the his grandkids and your kids, or between him and your kids.

You should be ashamed of being this clueless. I pray you’re a troll.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take the hit for the kids and tell her that you’ve decided no sleepovers; it’s not up to them. That way she’ll stop trying to bribe them. Separately, I’d be concerned that neither will tell me what me what happened. I’m not saying it was something serious, but I’d be concerned that even at such a young age my kids didn’t feel comfortable telling me stuff.

I used to do that but as mine get older I encourage them to say no as its ok to say no. My Mom has her boyfriend there and we don't know him well and I cannot imagine he'd do anything but he's a bit creepy and cold. She will not have the kids alone. Usually she'll only insist on sleep overs when his grandkids are visiting so in that case I call her on it and say no as we don't know him or the kids or their parents and the stuff she has said about one very much concerns me.

Anonymous wrote:I would take the hit for the kids and tell her that you’ve decided no sleepovers; it’s not up to them. That way she’ll stop trying to bribe them. Separately, I’d be concerned that neither will tell me what me what happened. I’m not saying it was something serious, but I’d be concerned that even at such a young age my kids didn’t feel comfortable telling me stuff.