Anonymous wrote:Like others, depends on the relationship and if the host invites me to do so. I always tell my guests to feel free to help themselves to whatever or I wll be happy to get it for them. As a guest, I don’t ask for anything and I taught my kids not to ask for anything. You can accept what is offered, but you can’t ask. I don’t mean you cannot ask grandma for a glass of water, but I did not want them going over to friend’s houses for a play date and asking for a snack.

Same. Completely the same.

As a host, I explicitly tell my guests to help themselves, I also serve and I also make food readily available and visible.

As a guest, I offer to help and I ask permission. Unless they host like I do. Err in the side of generosity to others when hosting and respecting boundaries when you are a guest.

Like others, depends on the relationship and if the host invites me to do so. I always tell my guests to feel free to help themselves to whatever or I wll be happy to get it for them. As a guest, I don’t ask for anything and I taught my kids not to ask for anything. You can accept what is offered, but you can’t ask. I don’t mean you cannot ask grandma for a glass of water, but I did not want them going over to friend’s houses for a play date and asking for a snack.

Depends on our relationship and how they run their household.

My sister's house, heck, I rearrange the fridge contents and clean out as I go along. Same with my #2 best friend.

My #1 best friend, no way Jose am I touching anything unless I ask for and she gives permission. In fact, I think she would be unhappy if I did any of it myself. It would be much better to make a subtle hint to indicate thirst and then wait for her to provide options. I love #1 best friend greatly but she would not be happy if I indicated thirst, went helter skelter to a cupboard, pulled out a glass, walked to the fridge, and then used the dispenser for ice and refrigerator. I don't know what she would do if I opened the fridge. I think her head would explode. She has been my best friend for 30+ years. I am not messing up that relationship because I'm a little thirsty.

Different strokes for different folks.

yes, always

Anonymous wrote:If its out and self serve, yes, but I would not go into your fridge or cabinets expect if you were a good friend and wait to be offered. As a houseguest, if they say help yourself yes. But, we had one situation where they never said anything and they didn't eat and it was strange so we just went out a lot.

This unless it’s family. No need for anyone to ask before helping themselves. Same for close friends as PP mentioned. I want my children’s close friends to feel comfortable enough to grab something id they want as well its nice to ask but not necessary for the kids who basically live here. Help yourself and clean up after yourself.

Depends. With in laws, they always said to help ourselves. We are shown where the food is kept, led to the new food that was purchased for our visit and invited to eat it whenever we want. So we do.

Other than that, I wait until offered most of the time. Exceptions would include asking for water on a hot day.

If its out and self serve, yes, but I would not go into your fridge or cabinets expect if you were a good friend and wait to be offered. As a houseguest, if they say help yourself yes. But, we had one situation where they never said anything and they didn't eat and it was strange so we just went out a lot.

Of course. Unless the host said very clearly to help ourselves and showed us explicitly where things like water bottles, beer were kept. I would still say something like, "Mind if I grab a beer? No need to get up, I can get it. Thanks."

Depends. If I walk into my parents’ house or my siblings’ house, I’m going to help myself to a beer on my way in. Otherwise, I’ll wait until something is offered.

Anonymous wrote:At a party? Like in what scenario?

When you are a house guest.

Of course.

Yes, always.

At a party? Like in what scenario?

Straw poll time. When you are a guest, do you ask your hosts first before helping yourself to food, beverages or alcohol?

What I'm not asking is, "Is it OK with you if guests help themselves without asking." What I am asking is, "Do YOU ask first?"