My SIL is like this - so over the top. 30 presents sounds amateur compared to her. Her kids are grown and married with kids and the excess has flowed into the next generation. We don’t participate. My kids see it and they are fine not having that sort of Christmas. Thing is this. My nieces and their families are lovely and generous people. They live in a small town and constantly do things to improve their community. Their excessive Christmas traditions hasn’t ruined any of them.

Anonymous wrote:We have families that are very generous too. We don't open everything at once - craft kits, puzzles, etc. are especially great to stash away and then pull out on a snow day or a rainy afternoon.

We do this too and honestly if they are things we know the kids won’t play with or they don’t want, we will ask if they have a friend who might like it and hang on to it to regift as part of a birthday present.

Anonymous wrote:We have families that are very generous too. We don't open everything at once - craft kits, puzzles, etc. are especially great to stash away and then pull out on a snow day or a rainy afternoon.

+1. DH’s family is the one that is over the top. So I and my sister in law requested less gifts and that experiences would be better. My DS is 5 and her DS is 6. My mother in law finally got the message and the boys get about 4 gifts or so and usually an experience (gift card to Adventure theater, Wolftrap, indoor play space, etc..).

Above is much better than when my niece (who is now older) was the only grandchild. 9-10 gifts easily $500-600 plus.

Donate unopened toys

We have families that are very generous too. We don't open everything at once - craft kits, puzzles, etc. are especially great to stash away and then pull out on a snow day or a rainy afternoon.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You parents have no joy and just have to ruin everything. Accept the gifts and donate what isn’t played with. It’s one day a year.

Let your kids have the gifts. You have no joy either if you donate it all.

I meant donate toys that they have that aren’t played with. Or keep it all. Such Grinches.

Anonymous wrote:You parents have no joy and just have to ruin everything. Accept the gifts and donate what isn’t played with. It’s one day a year.

Let your kids have the gifts. You have no joy either if you donate it all.

You parents have no joy and just have to ruin everything. Accept the gifts and donate what isn’t played with. It’s one day a year.

Anonymous wrote:They will get the message. Yuu have more control over that than one day with grandparents. We also donate 60% of gifts and hide most of the remaining 30% to pull out for random rainy days throughout the year.

Really nasty.

Anonymous wrote:We told my parents and ILs that enough was enough and that we are only giving one gift from each set of grandparents. They wouldn't listen, didn't respect our wishes and thought it was hilarrrrious to get more and more. We finally said, now it's one or it is zero. Your choice. You either give one gift, or none will actually make it into the kids' hands. They honestly thought they were proving a point and making a big joke of it.

So what happened?

They will get the message. Yuu have more control over that than one day with grandparents. We also donate 60% of gifts and hide most of the remaining 30% to pull out for random rainy days throughout the year.

We told my parents and ILs that enough was enough and that we are only giving one gift from each set of grandparents. They wouldn't listen, didn't respect our wishes and thought it was hilarrrrious to get more and more. We finally said, now it's one or it is zero. Your choice. You either give one gift, or none will actually make it into the kids' hands. They honestly thought they were proving a point and making a big joke of it.

Give away the random crap.

Cut back your gift giving. Simple.

We ask our families every year just to get the kids a couple presents (like 2-3 max) but they never listen and it’s just WAY over the top. DH’s and my parents are both divorced so we have 4 sets of grandparents... between the presents opened last night in Christmas Eve from DH’s parents and the ones this morning from my mom/stepdad, the kids have easily gotten 30 presents each. And we still have my dad and stepmom’s house to go to later. The worst part is that while 50% of the gifts are things the kids wanted and asked for, the other 50% is random crap they claim to be excited about but will never touch again.

I know I am not going to win the present battle since it’s been years now, but what can I do to teach my kids that the holidays are not all about presents? This really sends all the wrong messages.

We already “adopt” a couple families through a local organization to provide gifts for those less fortunate and my kids are very happy to do that sort of thing, but they see it as separate from the gifts they get and feel “entitled” to at this point if I am being honest.

How do others handle family members that are way too generous?