Op here - they have one of those massive lanai where the pool is basically fenced into the house.

I’m trying to think through if there’s any solution bc one of my best friends is getting married the weekend at the end of the week we are supposed to be visiting this spring. I know everyone’s solution will just be that we leave the kids there for the night and fly out and back to the wedding before taking the kids home. Or I go myself but my dh kind of checks out when his parents have the kids assuming they’ll keep them safe. That fence that can go up looks interesting and they would likely be willing to install if I insist

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm sorry if I missed it, but they don't have a fence? Every FL home I've visited ( a lot) have fences, so much that I thought it was a law.

It IS a law. Former Floridian here. But, it's totally possible to have the gate around the pool wide enough that you can fit a table and chairs NEXT to the pool, inside the gate.

OP, just say no. Simply do not allow this. Even if they had a gate within one foot of the pool all the way around with a high lock AND an alarm. I would still say no.

We have many door to our pool and we disabled the alarms because they were a pain in the a##. We had small children and used deadbolts that they could not open. In retrospect, I would have installed something like that picture above.

Honestly, everyone of those door locks/alarms can easily be turned off and most owners do because they are very annoying. Even if they had a pool with a fence, I don't think I would be comfortable leaving them. I would just simple say we are not comfortable leaving them because of the pool until they are older.

They could have a fence like this installed. There are holes in the concrete that the poles go into. Once there are no kids around they can take the whole fence down and leave it down and it won't be unattractive or a bother in any way.

Here’s a better solution:

The grandparents come visit you in your house. They can stay in the guest room and get as much alone time with the kids as they want while you and DH go on a date or weekend trip.

Done.

I wouldn’t trust any grandparent with my kids around water- ESPECIALLY if they were so dismissive of the danger. A pool right outside the deck is going to be super tempting for the 2 year old. Trust me, there will be at least one opportunity for him to sneak out. Drowning is completely silent. Even adults have a hard time screaming for help. A toddler would die a silent death while grandma finished changing the baby’s diaper.

It’s a bummer to make people uncomfortable and they might get offended, but I have heard of new stories where kids drown at their grandparents house. Sorry for the bummer of a situation you’re in but I would just say you feel more comfortable watching them.

There would need to be a locked child proof fence the entire way around the pool. And a pool alarm that sounds it something goes in the water. Even with that - given their less than safety oriented focus. I still wouldn't leave toddlers there.

I would leave my kids with her once they know how to swim and can consistently jump into the pool and swim back to the side and get themselves out. That would be between 3 and 5 likely depending on how they take to water.

Having them alone is no issue. it is something the vast majority of grandparents love to do.

OP, I'm sorry if I missed it, but they don't have a fence? Every FL home I've visited ( a lot) have fences, so much that I thought it was a law.

OP is deranged to leave her infant and toddler with them - AND in a home with a pool.

Grow up, OP.

I would say no unless it is at your house. I would never be able to relax in that situation.

They need to install higher up locks on the doors to the pool. Also get an alarm that goes off when something his the water.

Only a fence. Duh.

They’re “dying to have your kids alone”?
You have bigger problems, lady.

My inlaws live in florida and have a pool on their back porch which has many doors going to it. My toddler can open locks and is EXTREMELY attracted to water. My inlaws are dying to have my kids at their house alone and say b/c the door dings when it opens, it'll be fine with the pool. But I can EASILY imagine a scenario where the baby is crying, they're trying to help the baby and its loud, and the toddler sneaks out to the pool. Or the door is left open as someone goes in and out to clear dinner from the outdoor table and doesn't even notice the toddler is missing until too late. 2.5 year olds aren't watched 100% of the time and it'd just be too easy for him to end up at the bottom of the pool especially if the adults brush off the concern.

They've asked me what products etc they can put in that would make me comfortable. Is there anything that fully secures a pool around kids? Covers? Loud alarms for the water? Any other ideas? It honestly makes me nervous even when I am there b/c even with 4 adults around it can happen so easily with a toddler running around and no one realizing the other adults don't have their eye on him.