Anonymous wrote:My parents live in Manhattan. My mom is retired, so she's always out during the day. She's always telling me, "I wonder what the parents who spend a fortune on these nannies would think about the fact that they're always on their phones while they're pushing the kids around in strollers." She has rarely, if ever, seen a nanny engaged with a kid.

How does your mother know the women are nannies? Or that the loving and engaged women she does see and assume are mothers or grandmothers aren’t nannies? Our amazing nanny (white and American) is always assumed to be DD’s grandmother. One mother even told me that her English was perfect!!

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAHM. I took my kids to a lot of infant and toddler classes/programs for socialization and, because they were on weekdays, the other children were mostly brought by nannies. The nannies were always engaged and participating. However, they were mostly middle aged and older women, not 20-somethings. I would have been happy to have those nannies watching my kids. I’m surprised by this thread.

+1. Although a nanny shouldn’t be spending excessive amounts of time on the phone, in my upper middle class neighborhood park, most of the moms are on their cellphones at least some of the time. Your kid won’t die if they don’t have 100% of your attention all the time.

Anonymous wrote:My parents live in Manhattan. My mom is retired, so she's always out during the day. She's always telling me, "I wonder what the parents who spend a fortune on these nannies would think about the fact that they're always on their phones while they're pushing the kids around in strollers." She has rarely, if ever, seen a nanny engaged with a kid.

This. I'm telling you - nannies are on their phone more than telemarketers. I have a theory - lots of them have relatives back at home with not much work so they have time to chit-chat even with time difference. Pay attention- they don't speak English when talking to somebody. I'd know, I'm a foreigner.

Anonymous wrote:It depends- one can’t generalize. A great engaged nanny is better than a lousy daycare...and vice versa.

+1. And for some kids a noisy crowded daycare with a strict schedule would be worse than being at preschool for part day and with a nanny, even if, *gasp*, the nanny made him stand outside in 90 degree weather (newsflash-your kid won’t melt.)

I’m a SAHM. I took my kids to a lot of infant and toddler classes/programs for socialization and, because they were on weekdays, the other children were mostly brought by nannies. The nannies were always engaged and participating. However, they were mostly middle aged and older women, not 20-somethings. I would have been happy to have those nannies watching my kids. I’m surprised by this thread.

Anonymous wrote:Even our very good nanny (by most standards) spent hours at the park talking to other nannies. I know this. I only even knew one nanny who actively engaged the child she was watching. But it's not like they get attention all they in daycare either. The only good part is that they have other children to play with.

And until kids are 4, kids ‘play’ is more territorial struggle of animals! (We did daycare, it toughens them up but daycare kids are more aggressive in general)

Even our very good nanny (by most standards) spent hours at the park talking to other nannies. I know this. I only even knew one nanny who actively engaged the child she was watching. But it's not like they get attention all they in daycare either. The only good part is that they have other children to play with.

My parents live in Manhattan. My mom is retired, so she's always out during the day. She's always telling me, "I wonder what the parents who spend a fortune on these nannies would think about the fact that they're always on their phones while they're pushing the kids around in strollers." She has rarely, if ever, seen a nanny engaged with a kid.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I think a lot of nannies are like this. Daycare all the way.

I’ve seen a lot of mothers like this! But I agree you should tell the mother what you saw. She clearly needs a new nanny.

Definitely tell the mother as it’s clear she needs a new nanny. However daycare is not for everyone and there are wonderful loving and attentive nannies out there (I know -we have one!).

We tried a well known daycare when my son was a baby and it was horrible - he sat in dirty diapers for hours and was sick all the time. One of the daycare workers liked to tickle the babies until they cried.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I think a lot of nannies are like this. Daycare all the way.

You can think whatever you want, doesn’t make it true.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I think a lot of nannies are like this. Daycare all the way.

It depends on the age of the child.

Also I would speak to the child’s parents concerning what you have seen.
This lousy Nanny should be let go.
Stat.

For any child three + under, a Nanny is still the optimal choice for childcare.
There are a majority of loving, competent Nannies who actually enjoy what they do.
I am one of them.

It depends- one can’t generalize. A great engaged nanny is better than a lousy daycare...and vice versa.

Yeah, I think a lot of nannies are like this. Daycare all the way.

... is what I want to tell another preschool mom. The nanny always does pick up and drop off (this is a 1/2 day program), shows up 20 minutes early and just watches videos on her phone while the kid is standing next to her silently. Or she takes him to library classes and then sits him outside in 90 degree weather for 20 minutes so she can talk on her phone. I am a WOHM with a nanny so this is not me being judgy. But I find it hard to believe these these parents (who are quite well-off) would allow this woman to take care of their darling son. He's actually a sociable kid when he's away from the nanny - he would thrive in daycare.