Anonymous
Post 11/15/2019 07:11     Subject: DH grieving over cat is starting to be too much for me to deal with
Anonymous wrote:The cat was my favorite, and I was his. I know everyone deals with loss differently, but DH has been crying over the loss of our cat every night for the past week. It did happen suddenly, and he was too young, but I wish DH would man up.


Hey dum-dum, you think it's about more than a cat?
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2019 07:10     Subject: DH grieving over cat is starting to be too much for me to deal with
Have you stopped to consider that more is going on with him than you know? My DH drank when work was worrying him, but would tell me it was something else like he got into with his brother.
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2019 06:30     Subject: DH grieving over cat is starting to be too much for me to deal with
Crying is no doubt a direct result of the drinking excessively.

Have you given him a pep talk? "Honey, the drinking is making the sad thoughts about Beaverton much worse. Please promise me you will not get out the scotch tonight. Beaverton would not want to see you like this."

Anonymous
Post 11/15/2019 06:28     Subject: DH grieving over cat is starting to be too much for me to deal with
How’s the drinking affecting his behavior?
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2019 04:40     Subject: DH grieving over cat is starting to be too much for me to deal with
Anonymous wrote:Is the drinking thing new? Drinking that much every night is different than suddenly drinking that much because of the cat.


It’s drastically escalated.
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2019 01:05     Subject: DH grieving over cat is starting to be too much for me to deal with
Is the drinking thing new? Drinking that much every night is different than suddenly drinking that much because of the cat.
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2019 00:33     Subject: DH grieving over cat is starting to be too much for me to deal with
Anonymous wrote:Would it change your opinion if I told you he’s drinking 5+ drinks every night?


So, you're now saying that your DH is drinking 5+ drinks per night and crying over your deceased cat? It does paint a different picture.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2019 23:53     Subject: DH grieving over cat is starting to be too much for me to deal with
Okay Trolly-Anna
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2019 23:50     Subject: DH grieving over cat is starting to be too much for me to deal with
Alcohol is a depressant, of course it's making him worse.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2019 23:49     Subject: DH grieving over cat is starting to be too much for me to deal with
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Would it change your opinion if I told you he’s drinking 5+ drinks every night?


Uh, that is wildly different behavior than just crying over the cat!


Well, he says he’s drinking to relax and wants to veg, starts with a couple drinks of bourbon or scotch, has a couple glasses of wine with dinner, then has a few more glasses of bourbon / scotch after I go to bed. He says he’s just having “a glass” each time, but it’s not given he’s the only one in the house that drinks from his huge collection. Then he feels sad / depressed and cries. I understand the crying and grieving, but I think the alcohol is making it worse.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2019 23:45     Subject: DH grieving over cat is starting to be too much for me to deal with
Anonymous wrote:Would it change your opinion if I told you he’s drinking 5+ drinks every night?


Uh, that is wildly different behavior than just crying over the cat!
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2019 23:40     Subject: DH grieving over cat is starting to be too much for me to deal with
Would it change your opinion if I told you he’s drinking 5+ drinks every night?
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2019 23:23     Subject: DH grieving over cat is starting to be too much for me to deal with
Yuck, OP. You’re really awful. Everyone grieves differently. Just because he is a man, he shouldn’t be expected not to have feelings. That is a super toxic attitude.

Sounds like your husband is a loving, caring person. Try to be on his side.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2019 23:22     Subject: DH grieving over cat is starting to be too much for me to deal with
Anonymous wrote:The cat was my favorite, and I was his. I know everyone deals with loss differently, but DH has been crying over the loss of our cat every night for the past week. It did happen suddenly, and he was too young, but I wish DH would man up.


That's actually quite heartbreaking-- my DH would be mess if something happened to our dog...she's the sweetest. I'm def our dog's favorite but we all love her to pieces.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2019 23:18     Subject: DH grieving over cat is starting to be too much for me to deal with
The cat was my favorite, and I was his. I know everyone deals with loss differently, but DH has been crying over the loss of our cat every night for the past week. It did happen suddenly, and he was too young, but I wish DH would man up.